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Why do people fear the friend zone? [Opinion] (25)

1 Name: SpireAtlanta!SGRPrwhmGE!!DwFbhmLv : 2008-02-27 04:04 ID:f6oKbkea

Alright, guys and girls, I need an explanation for this fear of being "in the friend zone". While I can understand the excitement of dating and the feeling that one may be left behind if not initially perceived as an object of attraction, I don't see why there's this pervasive belief of "Once a friend, always a friend." We've already seen threads on this board that indicate people develop feelings for friends who they have had for a long time.

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2 Name: da PG king : 2008-02-27 13:53 ID:TIXpZ9IN

Cause it means no bang-bang

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-27 22:03 ID:P6fINJiy

>>2 Wrong, even get to see your "friend" getting banged by an asshole.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-27 23:04 ID:LLw9ypCJ

>>3 and possibly even getting married to said asshole.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-27 23:44 ID:tkRKRy10

>>2 >>3 >>4 are all correct!

6 Name: da PG king : 2008-02-28 00:47 ID:TIXpZ9IN

But, most importantly, no bang-bang

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-28 02:14 ID:ig8Wql58

Personal issues, thats it.

8 Name: SpireAtlanta!SGRPrwhmGE!!DwFbhmLv : 2008-02-28 02:55 ID:f6oKbkea

I would think that if it appears that the person you're interested in is going to date an asshole long term or make some other completely retarded decision that they would value your input. I'd also see it as an opportunity to suggest that the two of you go out, instead. (She/he may not always be really wanting/excited to go out on the date anyway.)

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9 Name: SpireAtlanta!SGRPrwhmGE!!DwFbhmLv : 2008-02-28 02:58 ID:f6oKbkea

Oh, also >>6

10 Name: da PG king : 2008-02-28 02:58 ID:TIXpZ9IN

Basically a relationship ends in flames if its romantic. But I know this mexican chick Tania, that will still come over to my house to fuck, and cook, but we ended an official relationship a while back. Really, there is no true "standard" for dating. It is what it is.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-28 04:22 ID:Heaven

Speaking from a female prospective, many girls don't believe in the 'friend zone' anyway. It seems like a male-created and male-enforced idea, rather than a true reality.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-28 05:40 ID:akrlb8eq


You might want to narrow that to anon-created and anon-enforced. Granted, no male friends of mine really talk much about relationships, but I've only ever seen the friend zone in MS Paint relationship threads and such *chan things.

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13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-28 08:17 ID:S/FCSNNT

I like to be friends with a guy before we start dating, it just has so much more potential. Sometimes I think guys don't know how to approach a girl and explain things away as being in a friend-zone. If she's still interested in the slightest, he has a chance if he can find a way. If she's just not interest, well, then, she's just not that into you.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-28 09:12 ID:54bTYbM+

Well the way I see it, is that two things are required for a relationship: Friendship and chemistry. I do believe that some sort of relationship can form from a friendship, but chemistry must be there. However, most of the time, since there is chemistry, people will just start going out and the friendship builds as the relationship builds. I think anyone who as a S.O. can agree that the S.O. is one of their closest friends but the reason why the S.O. is more than just a friend is that chemistry. So when people complain about the friendzone, I personally think there is just no chemistry between the two rather than just being stuck on another ladder.

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15 Name: SpireAtlanta!SGRPrwhmGE!!DwFbhmLv : 2008-02-28 09:32 ID:f6oKbkea

>>11 >>12 Thanks, that's a relief. I'm talking to a girl I'm somewhat interested in and have been thinking about this whole "friend zone" idea and it just didn't seem realistic to me from my experience, but I've heard so much about this "fast dating" idea I detailed above that I wondered if I was just That sheltered.

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16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-28 09:41 ID:IbuitXmd


My (male) friends of mine talk about the friend-zone all the time. I wish I could tell them how retarded they are, how relationships are more complicated than what's described on the friend-zone website, but it would be pointless, since their attraction to a girl corresponds to her bra size, and they care more about the sex than the relationship (most of them haven't ever had sex though). I wish I had more mature friends.. >_>

17 Name: SpireAtlanta!SGRPrwhmGE!!DwFbhmLv : 2008-02-28 09:44 ID:f6oKbkea

>>16 Don't we all.

Oh wait, maybe that's only a few of us, afterall. ~_~

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-28 11:20 ID:1brN3Bu6


Back when I actually had friends, more than a few of them also subscribed to that whole ladder-theory business. I agree, it can get a little asinine.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-28 16:49 ID:tkRKRy10

have fun being a friend and nothing more than that!

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-28 22:32 ID:vVgwqzEX

The problem with the friend zone is not on the female end. It's the immature, whiney guys that pen up their emotions for ages and then get all weepy when their friend-crush decides she's sick of waiting for them to make a move.

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21 Name: 14 : 2008-02-28 22:49 ID:hiNh/bqt

When I say friendship, I mean some sort of bond between the two. I have a lot of friends, a lot of bonds with people, but certainly no chemistry. I really can't define chemistry, best I can say that there is something, probably some sort of sexual attraction, but something more than draws two people closer than just friends.

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-28 23:14 ID:0RzzGoQd

>>14 speaks the words I'm too lazy to type out myself.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-02-29 17:37 ID:gqOiZ9mY

>>If a guy asks out a girl and she says "no, but can we just be friends?" then she's at fault.

That's the point of the friend zone as a concept. It's just a long winded version of no. Seeing as the opposite sex has never even looked at me though, I couldn't say that accurately.

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-01 04:13 ID:e0d56blh

>>Anyone with sense knows that you can't "just be friends" with someone attracted to you. They will end up getting hurt.

Nah, not really. Sometimes they'll just get over them/give up on them and realize that being able to be friends with them is better than nothing. Worked for me.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-01 20:19 ID:Heaven

2nded, as the guy who was attracted.