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Complications in friendship (17)


1 Name: The King in Yellow : 2008-03-03 07:00 ID:+6/RumIb

So I've got a bit of a problem. My best friend's girlfriend has always had a bit of a crush on me, and has made mention of it several times in the past. Since she's utterly devoted to him and I didn't know her before they got together, it's never really been an issue beyond "whatever" to me.
In the last couple months she's been a lot more open to me and asking some advice about their relationship. Cool, I figured, I'm more than willing to help her, and by proxy my buddy, out if she needs it. This continues pretty steadily, and she becomes a bit more of my friend, though I still mostly just view her as his girlfriend. She comes by occasionally, usually with him, but sometimes just to hang out or whatever. I make dinner pretty often (I'm a cook), which she always claims is the best she eats.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-03 07:35 ID:W2pp9OnL

His girlfriend is a fucking slut, which leads me to wonder:
-Why are you even halfway into her?
-Why have you not alerted your friend that his, BITCH! is hitting on you?

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3 Name: SpireAtlanta!SGRPrwhmGE!!DwFbhmLv : 2008-03-03 07:44 ID:Heaven

>>2 True understanding here entails a recognition of the girl's predicament, as well. OP needs to tell the best friend about what happened (Including her story of attraction and OP's own feelings.), and to start with admitting that they kissed, but doesn't need to fire at the girl like she's a reasonable scapegoat. There's no such thing as a reasonable scapegoat.

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4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-03 15:53 ID:Heaven

>>3
Ofcourse she isn't, and he should obviously assume responsibility for his part in this. But she is still a slut and frankly, so is OP. Basing their actions on emotions here will cause injuries I wish for no human. The only way he will learn from this is by doing the right thing.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-03 19:57 ID:dHTT99b+

First stop what you are doing with her because this girl is crazy and will only cause more trouble. Second tell your friend everything, and expect the worst possible outcome. Don't make another mistake by letting him find out on his own, just man up to your actions and accept the consequences. Third, stay away from her. This girl is nothing but trouble, you and your friend should have nothing to do with her.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-03 20:40 ID:Heaven

If you're going to jeopardise your friendship then at least make sure she's worth it. Is she worth it??

7 Name: da PG king : 2008-03-03 21:53 ID:s0NuPAnT

Be a playa...

go around your friends back...

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8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-03 23:33 ID:mKRqBFBC

>>7
The only good advice in this thread...

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-04 03:10 ID:+3gS254z

Fuck her for all she's worth, but don't fall in love with her. She's not girlfriend material, for sure.

10 Name: da PG king : 2008-03-04 03:11 ID:s0NuPAnT

>>9 Amen!

11 Name: To be or not to be : 2008-03-04 04:56 ID:pwoXx2UA

First talk to your friend, explain the situation. Do the reverse psych. cliché line "look if you don't want to, i won't see her..." , only if your feelings are strong.

If you go behind his back without talking, and it does get serious between you two, you will not be able to hide it anymore. Plus, such betrayals affect people the most.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-04 06:38 ID:W2pp9OnL

>>7
What the fuck you talking about, you aint got no friends
>>9
You're not friend material, for sure

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13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-04 09:48 ID:RfELD51B

What >>12 said.
What >>12 said.
What >>12 said.

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14 Name: M : 2008-03-05 10:30 ID:PvEkasWe

She’s probably wanting you because of the excitement and drama it creates in her relationship, and she is turned on by the fact that she is possibly cheating on her bf. There are girls like this because there was some problematic manifestation from the relationship she had with her dad. For example, having a dad who wasn’t committed to the family can create this psychological inclination to pursue guys who aren’t committed to her, and find them attractive. Once she knows that her boyfriend is committed, she doesn’t find him attractive as much, on the other hand you create drama. Yet she knows the values of the relationship with her boyfriend so she is basically using you to get what she wants, excitement, and at the same time keeping her relationship.

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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-05 15:55 ID:5NrvEkZY

Let me be as blunt as possible with you.
No matter what you do, you are running a 90% probability of losing this friendship. Drunk or not, you've already gone way too far.
I do not automatically agree with the other posters in this thread that she's probably rather flighty and looking for excitement, however, this is also a situation of "She did this WITH me, how can I trust she won't do this TO me?" Try to let her down lightly; something like "I'm sorry, but I just can't do this to [best friends name here]. I was drunk/not thinking clearly that night... I'm sorry, but I don't think we should hang out any more."

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16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-05 22:27 ID:HeU+cqYY

Bros before hoes

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-06 03:27 ID:Heaven

>>15

>If you tell the truth, and he didn't suspect anything, and wouldn't've asked, then you just dumped this on your friend to relieve your own conscience
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