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Need dating advice! (29)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-17 15:12 ID:BArlXJOu

Okay, here's the story: a friend set me up with one of her friends, and we had our first date yesterday. Already, I've found myself falling for her. Last night, I asked her to be my girlfriend, and she accepted.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-17 15:48 ID:n4TE0vh4

Get to know her, find what are her interests, and use that to organize activities together (ex: likes music: go to concerts). Of course, if you have common interests, make use of that.

At this stage, what matters is to get to know her, and spend good times with her, to create attachment. The more you know her, the better,...

3 Name: fancypants mcgee : 2008-03-17 16:27 ID:oTNbliHI

hang out, have fun, and make out a lot :0)

but do NOT do 'it' any time soon- quickest way for inexperienced people to kill a relationship, because it seems like such a big deal.

4 Name: 1 : 2008-03-17 18:02 ID:BArlXJOu


The thing is, I'm so nervous I can't even put my arm around her, much less kiss her. What's the best way to show affection at this point? If it's kissing, how should I approach the situation?

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-17 18:32 ID:7WyUOrpv


Let her know that you haven't been in this situation before, but that you are excited about spending time with her. As for being too nervous to even put your arm around her, you just need to go for it. Do something small like hold her hand when walking somewhere, or if you are holding a door open for her just lightly brush your hand on her arm or back. As for kissing, that should be a gradual escalation. Hopefully she will be responsive to you touching her and touch back, and then as you get more comfortable with each other you can progress to more intimate contact. So you may just brush hands a bit, then forearms, then upper arm and back, legs etc. Then it won't be a massive leap to kissing. As for when you're actually kissing, just try to relax. At first, keep your lips closed, don't need to get too passionate. An important thing is let her take the lead in terms of any tongue action. Copy what she does.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-17 19:25 ID:aJvAlowH

dude relax. take things slow, shouldnt have asked her to be your girlfriend, let alone after the first date. let the relationship develop and with time things will work out hopefully.

just hang out and take things how they come. if she wants to get intimate, she will let you know, it may be subtle but you will know.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-18 01:09 ID:Heaven

Listen to the ones who say not to take this seriously, they've all been through the same things and at this stage in your life you will not have a meaningful long-lasting relationship. What you CAN do is have a meaningful good time with the opposite sex without regrets, be confident within the confines of keeping it simple.

8 Name: 1 : 2008-03-18 14:10 ID:BArlXJOu

Hmm, thanks for the advice. I'll keep you guys posted in case I need more help.

9 Name: OP : 2008-03-18 22:37 ID:OiCtabCz


I'm taking her to a concert on Friday, so that'll work, right?

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10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-21 23:24 ID:OiCtabCz

Well, I'm off on my date, details later!

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-22 00:25 ID:WENUDOzW

I think you should have waited a bit longer before making the decision to ask her to be your girlfriend so you could get to know her a bit more and grow more confident, but what's done is done. The next step for you guys now is probably just to hang out and talk about interests.
Good luck on your date.

12 Name: OP aka Roj the Hopeless Romantic : 2008-03-22 03:53 ID:OiCtabCz


Yeah, I was thinking I might have jumped the gun.

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13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-22 04:53 ID:sxOivbgH

Okie Dokie but while its cool to skip out on the invitation now, don't do it again or she's gonna get the idea that you're not interested, but idealy you want to keep that somewhat. if you ask me, a little distance makes a girl want you that much more.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-22 07:13 ID:dXG4Di8J

>>13 Somewhat true. It depends on what kinds of distance you keep
& how you do so.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-22 13:06 ID:WENUDOzW

I think you did good, but still, don't rush things. Don't listen to that upperclassman, but take the steps in your own pace. Do what feels right for both of you. You're not a wuss for not kissing her on your second date. Imo, you did the right thing for now.

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16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-22 16:19 ID:dXOnAkZe


Hugs are totally fine for 2nd date, man. But you ought to give her a kiss the next time. It can just be a drawn-out peck, no need for tongue.

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17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-23 14:04 ID:xbxDFm7/

hello guys, i just want to share something, coz there is this girl , we were classmates in my statistics subject, from the guys in the class she never had any boyfriend... i really like her that's why, i tried to add her through friendster...

18 Name: OP aka Roj the Hopeless Romantic : 2008-03-24 00:18 ID:OiCtabCz


Hmm, about waiting for the 3rd date, no can do. We're already going to a dance on the 29th. Is that too soon?

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19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-24 13:29 ID:jwm+4nhV


20 Name: Kurono : 2008-03-25 14:45 ID:l8BHu3XK

Last one was the 28th or so(right?), so about a week since last date. That sounds like a pretty good amount of time. If you really want plans for it make it at the dance or a bit afterwards. And congrats on the second date. You got a hug out of it. That's good. (Sorry if it sounds sarcastic.) If that makes you happy then go ahead and do it. You don't have to make out to a couple. However if you really do want to kiss her,just go for it. It's kind of hard(took me like an hour to work up the courage) so don't feel bad. Well good luck on the dance.

21 Name: OP aka Roj the Hopeless Romantic : 2008-03-25 22:25 ID:OiCtabCz


We just talked to each other about kissing, I told her I'd never been kissed, and would like to share my first with someone special, like her. She and I basically agreed to kiss at the dance! I know that sounds kinda lame, but hey, at least I wasn't the only one thinking about it. Plus, now she's more approachable about it! Woohoo! Thanks guys, more info as it becomes available!

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-26 01:38 ID:7KKmF2lt


hahaha, prepared to get dumped

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-26 04:21 ID:dXOnAkZe

>>I told her I'd never been kissed, and would like to share my first with someone special, like her

Oh my God. Please don't tell me these were NOT your exact words. Please tell me you said SOMEthing a little less... pussy. Man the fuck up and stop watching romance movies

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-26 12:32 ID:5K/Fx9vl

If she wanted to kiss you, she would have done it when you spoke to her about it. Sorry, dude, but there'll be no kiss at the dance. She's just buying some time until she works up the strength to dump you.

25 Name: Roj the Hopeless Romantic : 2008-03-26 13:21 ID:TRTFEcfz


I paraphrased it. Those weren't my exact words. I did indeed say something "less pussy" as you put it. Gimme a break.

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26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-27 03:55 ID:3hfNWJVW

you best man up and kiss her quick, youre gonna get your ass dumped unless she is some sort of cave troll.

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-27 06:46 ID:llDzg2T2

Oh God, I wish I could schedule a kiss. Haaarg.

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-03-28 23:56 ID:ZbWvc7X3

I hope it's her first kiss too! As a girl, to know that you're someone else's first makes us want to run away as fast as possible. Why? Because saying something like wanting a first kiss to be with someone special like that is saying to a girl "I'm way obsessed with you and I'm looking for a serious relationship".

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29 Name: Roj the Hopeless Romantic : 2008-03-31 14:57 ID:9RLuyvF2

Well, my friends, it was a success. We made out - repeatedly I might add - and had a great time. Thanks for your help, but I think I can take it from here.