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I care for her but I don't love her (11)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-04 04:55 ID:t8biLlPh

My girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year.

However, I no longer love her. She is boring, vapid, and hardly pretty. Her only redeeming quality is the ability to do what she is told diligently by authority.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-04 05:09 ID:EfWfrxUw

You should break up with her. This isn't a good relationship, and freeing yourself and her from it is the first step towards maybe one day finding the right person for you. Well, in any case, you shouldn't stay in a relationship thats turned so crappy after only a year.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-04 08:12 ID:ZB0Aya25

Let her go for her sake. I can think of nothing worse than learning that I've been putting all of my heart and love toward a man that doesn't feel anything for me beyond some loveless care. It will hurt her indelibly, but the sooner you hurt her the sooner she'll heal, so get it done with. Seriously, don't make her waste her effort and stop wasting your own.

4 Name: alaska : 2008-04-04 09:41 ID:JD8riRem

i agree, i just got dumped in due to a similar situation, and i am glad she didn't drag it out.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-04 10:34 ID:fbxwsR0N


same situation dude. just broke off couple of days ago. she just didn't feel attracted to me anymore.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-04 11:01 ID:OuJv9kM1

well it's the one-year mark crisis perhaps?

Why were you together in the first place? Did you guys have some common interests or something? If you didn't "love" or feel attracted to her in the first place... then perhaps you won't cuz it's been a year already.

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-05 00:50 ID:AolR/k0d


I agree... I think >>1 is the type of guy who would get bored with a girl -- pretty or not, interesting or not... I am that kind of guy. Instead of wandering through relationships, maybe it's time for you to step on your toe, give yourself a slap and then a nice hug and then try to do some fun things with her. Give her a chance cause it seems she loves you. If even after that you don't feel love then you should really free her...

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8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-05 02:26 ID:x7KN4QVb

seems like you have your own story to tell here... what made you realize you're this type of a guy?

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-05 02:38 ID:eseOug6U

Thank you to everybody who replied. Especially >>6-7, who give interesting thoughts.

To tell the truth, I tend to exaggerate when my mood swings. I wasn't being completely honest in >>1. The real reason I haven't broken up with my girlfriend yet is that I don't want to. Because most of the time, I absolutely do love her and could not live without her.

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10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-06 02:10 ID:Qoe4sdBG

It's okay, everyone has their swings.
And if you did feel like that back then, it's not a lie.

11 Name: 7 : 2008-04-06 04:07 ID:AolR/k0d


It's OK we're all humans... Confused and confusing by nature, I guess. And I firmly believe that your problem is not her because you do seem to love her (if you didn't you wouldn't have the days when you love her). Your problem is you. Have you ever thought that somewhere in the beginning of your relationship you overdid it and put her on the pedestal? If that is so, then those feelings are getting back to you in a form of a disappointment. You may end up breaking up with her, but I doubt you will not run into the same exact situation with your next gf. The moral of the story is that you need to learn how to be content and learn to live with somebody's imperfections (i.e., her plainness at the moment). And the fact that you do miss her when she's not around you says a lot about your feelings. If you didn't love her, you would hardly wait to break up with her and not going on with the same old story.

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