is a person's look very important to you when you are looking for a relationship? without a doubt, the personality's very important. but how important is someone's look?
i'm a girl, and i don't really care about looks that much. i mean, it's not like it's not important at all, but it definitely isn't my priority. i'd rather want someone who is kind and funny and has a good personality than someone who is just hot.
If you are a girl...
Be advised...the one girl I loved passionately was as pale as a ghost, sickly thin, and when she wasn't passed out and near comatose...she was popping Halcion like it was Pez and drinking Vodka like it was water.
I'd say if you look mediocre but have the right attitude then you can get what you want.
Well, I know lots of cute/hot girls. Of course, I won't tell you there are no second thoughts when we talk about them between guys. But for most, that's just what they are - cute/hot. Cavemen comments like "she has a nice booty", "I'd bang her anytime" or words like these happen. But it's not that serious; because as >>2 said, beauty fades and isn't even really a personnal achievement, rather than a gift from nature (ok, there is also work on that side, but it's not the same kind of work).
it's interesting to hear how guys think. i have some issues with my confidence, and so i'm always looking to the people next to me and comparing them with me. now of course there are always people who are more beautiful or smarter than me, and so it just bums me out like shit.
I've been around this toilet called earth a while....
For the record...I'm not quite that dour...
Have you ever considered that the "crush that is so out of your league" might be a guy that's working hard to be this way? Of course there are some naturals out there, but there's nothing they have you can't learn.
I was having a discussion about this subject with a girl (who is way too hard to read, half the time I think she's into me, half the time I think she's just the same to everyone) today... We both had almost the same viewpoint. You need personality in a person. If the person you're attracted to is a whore inside or dull as a rock, then no matter what they look like, you're probably going to get fucked in the ass (even more so if the person ends up being a transvestite). But a certain level of physical attraction IS necessary, otherwise you'll end up hating yourself and hating your partner. It's just hard to find the right balance of both.
right. i feel the same way too, that despite personality, there has to have some physical attraction.
the problem with my crush though is i get so nervous around him that i can hardly talk. i am usually cracking jokes and i'm easy going and nice, but when he is around, it's like i just freeze up and i won't be able to find anything interesting to say. and this is really bad because if i am to show my personality to anyone, it is him. but i must look like a really dull and boring person now because to him, it must look like i don't have any personality at all and i can't hold any conversation.
dont kid yourselves. looks are the most important thing. if a person doesnt find you physically attractive, chances are they wont be into you. Now, every once in a while a person might look past your imperfections, but that is veeeeery rare. its a shame, i know. people have more going on to them than looks. personality counts. but odds are if they arent attracted to you physically, they wont take the time to get to know your personality.
That's exactly how it is for me, and I'm a girl. The longer you know someone, the more beautiful they become, inside and out. For example, the guy I like often has really noticeable razor burn and flaky dry skin on his face and there's almost always something (gross) hanging out of his nose, and on anyone else that would be kind of "eugh", but I see right past it when I look at him. Because I'm in love with him, inside, and so the outside only looks good. The outside is the physical representation of his inside, of his soul and the words he speaks to me. His razor burned, flaky face is a part of the same body that holds his eloquent, kind, beautiful brain, and so it is beautiful. When I look at him, endorphins shoot all over inside of me because I know that the face and body I'm holding in my line of sight belong to the guy that I'm in love with; this physical human figure, no matter how flawed (and indeed it is flawed), is the physical embodiment of the love-feelings he causes me. That thing hanging out of his nose? Yeah, gross; but it's part of him and I love him, so I can get past that and concentrate instead on that big warm smile right below it. Aaahhh~
If by 'looks', you mean the "pretty", "cute", "hot" people, then I really don't care for them. Personally I prefer girls who are modest in their appearance, because there's a high chance then of their being honest and vivid in their intelligence.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I may find a girl attractive who most people wouldn't say was hot/cute/whatever, even before I get to know her personality. It's strange.
Exactly! When I rate girls online the overall rating shows up after I rate. And, almost always girls who are in 9-10 range get a 5-7 from me, while girls who are in 5-7 range get a 10 from me. The reality is that when you look at somebody you're not just looking at their face, but also at their style, body posture and everything else that might reveal something about their personality. Just today I rated a girl who was absolutely gorgeous in my opinion but she got freaking average of 7, probably because she wears glasses and has a bit geeky style. And I saw absolute whores who have no facial beauty but are dry looking, showing their cowy melons off and they get 9.9 average. What's wrong with people? They go by popularity and not by beauty. So, not all guys are the same and not all girls are the same. And the image of beauty both inner and outer is so distorted by the media and masses that I am disgusted.
How in the Earth you've got to this board? Can it be that you're lonely? Cause it seems that you're the high-maintenance type of girl who hates the whole world in the morning and surrenders to hating even herself in the evening.
Not really, i'm looking for the genes to.
really? because when i am dating someone, i don't usually think so far ahead. maybe its because i'm still kinda young, but i won't think, "i won't want to marry him or i won't want to have kids with him because he's ugly." it's just too far ahead.
It's when you start feeling old (not physically old) and you start to feel alone, and somehow, you have this need to create and start a new phase in your life called "family". You feel that it's time to settle down with someone for the rest of your life since you've had enough fun dating lots of people. And you wouldn't want to play this time. You're going to take it very seriously and you even consider silly things, like the one I mentioned on my post above yours.
gee thanks! aww I don't hate the world.. well truth is. I think I am still young. I haven't dated before, haven't been in a relationship-- (maybe as a result of me being picky!). But it's not like I'm actually looking for a relationship yet. I don't feel like i'm ready for one, and perhaps guys just won't catch eye if i'm not desperate for one?!?! I don't know.
Ok, the fact that you want your first relationship to lead to marriage is respectable. But, your reasoning sounds wrong to me. The guy has to be gorgeous to even consider him for a relationship? And it's all because of offspring? Sounds like utopia to me. It all breaks down to mating that way.
no.. that guy doesn't have to be gorgeous..., i'm fine with average-looking guys.
I owe you a sincere apology. I mixed you with >>17, a narcissistic girl who wants nothing less than gorgeous guys. I see that your expectations are quite different. I for myself can say that girl's looks don't play an ultimate role when I decide to ask her out. There should be some physical attraction between the two, but that's very subjective (i.e., what I find attractive may be plain ugly to somebody else). So, guys are into girls' looks as far as they find them subjectively attractive. I guess it has to do with genes and pheromones. I would say that physical compatibility is a better term.
lol, when i read two posts, they sounded like completely different persons :) I dunno, you of course have the right of choice. It's not like ugly people chose to be that way. But hey they have to swallow it and continue on I guess, hoping to find their ugly halves. Sometimes, there are ugly-pretty combinations. Sometimes it's the other way around. I'd say that whatever can be corrected (weight, style) shouldn't turn you off. But if you find a guy who has a disproportionate face or something else you don't like, then you're just the type to put an end to any possibility of a relationship. IMHO, it's closed-mindedness, but it's sure better to be honest about it than ending up hurting somebody for what nature/God gave them.
Looks matter to me, but other things matter to me a lot more.
Most of the guys i've ever felt a strong attraction to in my 22 years of life weren't actually very good looking; in fact, looking back, some of them were at least a little ugly. But I certianly didn't think so at the time. When i met them, i either thought they were of average attractiveness, or didn't give their looks any thought, and as i got to know them, i became attracted to them because of who they were, and it seems I then thought they looked great, even though some of them didn't. Well, in a few cases, I knew they weren't good looking, but i was attracted to their looks anyway.
I do admit that I look more at good-looking guys than your average-looking one. But even then, I've managed to fall in love with a guy who is completely out of what I normally rate attractive people.
He's not Asian (my parents generally only approve of same-race people), he has facial hair, he has more than a little acne, he has braces, he's a gamer like me but likes first-person shooters more than RPGs, and I think he weighs about 190-220 lbs. But he's really nice, he's not ashamed to point out some flaw of mine and his lack of self-esteem is absolutely adorable.
The hell? I'm above average attractive, Asian, tall, thin, lack self-esteem, game all the time, and have never had more than one relationship. How did you guys get together? wtf
believing you have above average attactiveness doesn't really go with lacks self esteem.
>33 believing you have above average attactiveness doesn't really go with lacks self esteem.
I lol'd. Indeed.
I only believe it from the image I see from girls about their ideal guy. I'm not so delusional that my ability to compare faces is completely biased, so I think above average is what you could consider me.
The only question is, how attractive are YOU?
I've often noticed the people most likely to be attracted to not-so-attractive people are those who aren't that great to begin with. And no, I'm no Rick Astley or Patrick Dempsey.
My attractiveness... i'd say fairly attractive. Certainly not the kinda girl who'll usually cause people to stop and think 'wow- she's so hot!' but far from being unattractive.
You do have a good point though. I think standards tend to lower somehwat to match a person's own attractiveness better; otherwise everybody other than the hot people would have a lot of trouble.
They say love makes you blind, and I honestly don't doubt that.
My girlfriend has several scars on her face, is a little on the chubby side, etc, etc.
But even so, I have never ever seen a so beautiful woman.
Don't worry bout looks, if someone loves you they love you for who you are.
i like girls who are smart, athletic, and can at least be friends with more than five people. Attractiveness can only go as far as first impression. I can remember how sometimes I would not like a certain girl at first glance simply because she had crooked teeth, was chubby, tall, etc. However, when it comes to looking for a lover, that shouldn't be the issue.
I think Attraction counts, at least a little bit. You usually don't want to chase after a person/imagine them in a romantic level unless they are attractive to you in some way.
That said, once you get to know a person, it's easy for them to become attractive to you.
@Crusher: I LIKED some overweight girls...not because of what they looked liked, but because they were easy to talk to and somewhat a confident whenever I was down. One girl...I though I would go out with...until I found out she acted like a diva and a bitch! Despite what their weight, ethnicity, facial feature, etc., if you find someone that you can at least get along with, then appearance should not be a huge issue (as long as the other person can see the real you too).
So how would a person's teeth affect the way you feel about them? I think I'm quite good looking to a certain extent if I keep my mouth closed but my front tooth is fucked up due to something that happened a long time ago. I plan on getting that tooth fixed.
depends on how fucked up your teeth are. if it's just one tooth, then it's probably not an issue.
although there have been cases where teeth are truly horrible and it detracts from the person as a whole. Case in point: magibon.
My mother told me that but I thought it was just something mothers said to their kids. But now I don't feel so bad about my fangs. =]
I think my front tooth is seriously fucked up. I don't think it's possible to look past the tooth. I wish I had normal teeth. Maybe then I'd be able to smile for the camera.
I just saw that girl on Youtube and she's adorable.
My bottom fangs stick up just a bit. Over the years I've learnt, when I do my natural "upper teeth smile", to open up the mouth just a little so you can see them but not the other bottom teeth. It's very subtle but present. I think it looks hot and have been told so quite a few times :)
My front teeth can be fixed. I was supposed to get them fixed as soon as it happened (about 8 years ago) but I never had the courage to go to the dentist.