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What to do on a date (19)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-15 03:54 ID:R+6AXGej

Right, so a little background: I'm 23 and have had a couple of first dates, but never any second dates.

I've met this girl recently at a place where we both do volunteer work, and she's giving major signals that she's interested in me (unless I'm just totally misinterpreting her). We've spent a fair amount of alone time at the place where we volunteer just talking, so we're on familiar terms. I invited her to a barbecue that I'll be attending this weekend and she said she'd like to go and gave me her phone number. I have a strong feeling that if I asked her out on a 1 on 1 date she would say yes. The thing is though, what does one do on dates? I don't have much of a social life, so I only leave my apartment for shopping, classes, and the occassional film on the weekends. My past dates have all involved going out to eat or hanging out at a mall or similar, but once you get to know one another those activities seem to become sort of lame and tedious. So what are some good dating activities?

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-15 04:12 ID:hK5mm/J3

Talking walks together. Do it under the guise of getting some exercise. Gives you a chance to talk, and your surroundings should provide things to talk about. Plus, you're actually getting exercise, and if you get hungry, you can move right in to having lunch/dinner together.

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3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-15 05:35 ID:YXlhj173

Anything that you'd both probably enjoy is fine. Eating, hanging out at malls, walks, whatever is all good. But of course, you can't just do that alllll the time. You've got to break up the monotony by doing more interesting stuff....

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4 Name: Don : 2008-04-15 05:47 ID:4cKbSFyw

Talk to them first before the first date to get a feel of what kind of person she is on her off time outside of the work place. If she hints towards a hobby or a type of cooking she likes and try to base your date off that to show interest that you listened to them and wanted to give it a try. If you feel like the date is going nowhere do something out of the ordinary to make them smile and feel special. Remember dates are supposed to be livily and enjoyable. Always think outside the box

5 Name: Riles : 2008-04-15 06:37 ID:Lk1L0Aws

I think an amusement park would be really good. It's fun and casual, plus you can talk as you walk around so you get to know each other more.

6 Name: Browneyes : 2008-04-15 08:44 ID:fDH+49vC

if you're sure that she's interested in you enough for you to be thinking second dates already, then I would take her through the usual course of a date: movie, dinner, and whatever comes afterwards.

I know that sounds way too typical, but I like to take a girl out on a typical setting of dates at first mainly b/c a movie provides a topic to start off a lively conversation onto the dinner where you can impress her by fancy dining or by taking her to a unique place that she has never gotten a chance to go to yet but she'll surely like. then you can take her to a park or just take her to wherever you can find a nice scenery and just talk to her to get to know her more..

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7 Name: Don : 2008-04-15 10:53 ID:4cKbSFyw

Movies would be more for a like a second date or after. Thats like two hours of either no talking or just whispering and snicking. Remember first impression, last impression. Just have fun and roll with it.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-20 18:09 ID:oCWd0Kky

Yeah, the movies are a terrible idea. No talking? Then what's the point? Ever here the classic line, "wanna go out for some cofee?"

We're the starbucks generation so it should work.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-21 01:42 ID:R+6AXGej

OP here, things went really great at the barbecue the other night, she confessed to being into me when I asked her about it, and we made out some.

Over the course of the next day though (I crashed at her place because I couldn't drive to go home and spent most of the next day there too) I realized that she's got a lot of friends. She's totally an extrovert, while I'm a complete introvert. That in itself doesn't bother me, and she doesn't seem interested in dating any of her guy friends, just me, but what bothers me is that with her having so many friends, it makes me feel pretty unimportant in her life. Like I'm easily replaceable. For me I have only a small circle of friends, so each one is very important, but for her it seems like she has so many friends that any relationship between the two of us wouldn't mean near as much to her as it would to me.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-21 16:58 ID:oeW0ev+o

Use the number of her friends to your advantage, and make the number of friends you have grow. I know I have a pretty big collection of friends I'm not really close to (and some who are extremely close and important to me), and that's because when I meet someone new and they have cool friends, those friends become my friends.

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11 Name: 5664 : 2008-04-21 20:48 ID:V71WBYdp

Who knows.

You might end up re-defining who she considers a true friend if you keep at it.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-21 22:09 ID:R+6AXGej

Thanks for the words of encouragement guys. I keep ending up thinking of this as a one-sided interest, but I just have to remind myself that this all started because she was the one putting moves on me.

13 Name: 5664 : 2008-04-21 22:18 ID:V71WBYdp

Exactly. So there has got to be something you have that those other knuckle-heads don't.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-23 03:37 ID:R+6AXGej

OP again, I would like some opinions if you don't mind. This question merely scratches the surface of a much larger issue, and the topic of several hours of discussion earlier tonight.

If one were to say:

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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-23 05:17 ID:Heaven

I thing that both parties should want a common future. Uncertainty is normal, it's always something new so it's a little scary, but if both parties have the will to take things along together... then it's probably worth it.

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16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-23 05:17 ID:baCB1C5M

I thing that both parties should want a common future. Uncertainty is normal, it's always something new so it's a little scary, but if both parties have the will to take things along together... then it's probably worth it.

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17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-24 02:59 ID:Heaven

rape her

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-29 01:55 ID:R+6AXGej

OP again, last update probably.

It turns out there was some guy friend of hers who she was really interested in all along, but since she didn't think he was interesed in her at all, I was her second choice.

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19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-04-29 20:29 ID:WUVZP5wb

I'm really sorry to hear that, OP, it seemed like things were going so well!

She was probably hinting to you with those previous questions...but, you know, at least you know you were reading her correctly. You might not have ended up with her, but girls are into you, despite worries about being introverted.

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