I'm not really sure where to begin with this story, and it may be a little disjointed trying to fit everything in, but here is the gist. (prepare for extreme tl;dr)
4 or so odd years ago I became friends with another girl over the internet. At first we were just typical online aquaintances, but somewhere around when we began college we started to talk to each other everyday and do almost everything together, becoming(at least what I would call) close friends.
OP, you have to KILL your romantic feelings for her.
Speaking as a bi girl, if she were into you, she would have responded positively by now. You have more or less confessed to her your feelings on more than one occasion, and she only responds by pushing you away, right? It's the same in any best-friend type relationship, gay or straight, when one of them develops unrequited feelings for the other...the more you like her and try to push her into something, the more she will be uncomfortable and try to push away.
This has happened to me in the past except it was with another boy. I'll share my story.
We met on an internet forum which was dedicated to a certain series. He introduced himself as a girl and was the only 'girl' who happened to be active on that forum. I didn't really pay attention to this girl until one day out of the blue she PM'd me asking for my MSN address. Back then I was naive and would give my address if asked so I gave it to her and we started to get to know each other.
>>5 It was a silly thing really, they always are really trivial. I had txt messaged her a couple times asking where she was and what was up and she didn't respond to anything until she came home the next day. No real reason either, just because she 'didn't feel like it'. A simple thing, but she tends to lack certain considerate actions like that.
OP I really hope you get through this without too many emotional scars.
>>7 I caught this reply right as I was leaving!
It -is- nice to have a kindred spirit. It's really funny because I began to see my relationship progression as a 'tsundere' act as well. I was for a long time standoffish and uptight about a lot of things, but after a while these emotional outbursts included random words of affection. I have no idea what came over me with this girl. Tsunderes unite! ^^
I've a thing for tsundere girls. Although those were just anime crushes.
It's a little easier to try to ignore these feelings because I've never met him in real life but I often think about trying to talk to him again but every time I do he's playing games.
5 here. Your situation sounds a lot like an online relationship I had once..we ended up getting into huge arguments over the stupidest things, I had to break it off for the sake of both of us staying sane. I know how you feel about messaging and never getting an answer, too, I've got a few 'friends' on AIM/MSN who do that, ugh. You're not pathetic, don't even think that..it happens. You just gotta' get over it and move on as I did...and I admit it wasn't easy, and half of it was my fault to begin with.
Jealousy sure is a bitch.
I was able to avoid much conversation all weekend, but today I found out she'd spent the entire weekend at another friend's house (also stayed over earlier this week too). This friend really bugs me, because my friend is employed by her mom at a home run business, and hence they get to spend time together -all the time-. We spent a lot more time together before she met this girl...
I know exactly how you feel. It's not nice to be/feel like you've been tossed aside and replaced by something else. Especially if that something else is a machine.
I always tend to wander back here when I have nowhere else to go... A 'lonely hearts club' of sorts I guess. Reading the posts here helps me feel better at least.
Don't really know what to say, more of the usual on and off with friend. I'm just feeling particularly crushed right now... sometimes I feel like I just want to go back to being a NEET. It was her encouragement and the prospect of meeting irl that pushed me back into working on college and getting a job in the first place.