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Friend got rejected and is depressed (11)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-01 04:14 ID:ODsgIc8w

My friend got rejected about a week or two ago by a girl he really really liked. As in he would go to her house at midnight just to help her with assignments, he wouldn't go out with us anywhere unless that girl came too, he wouldn't mind spending money on her (and he's REALLY cheap), he even kept his own personal diary thing about the girl... But the girl had no romantic feelings towards him whatsoever and had a hardcore crush on another guy.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-01 04:25 ID:d2HDmgyV

Hire him a prostitute as a late birthday present. No, really.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-01 04:27 ID:rUw6O16H

I say just hang out with him with him and talk. If not just hang out with him while having a beer and enjoy the silence. Alot of times I'd shun away from people after getting hurt but eventually I'd want someone to talk to. You should be that friend who can be there for him. Initiate contact with him, dont let him wallow in his self sorrow for too long.

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4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-01 13:47 ID:BQoO21ZD

Yeah, do what >>3 said. Take him out to have a drink or two and just enjoy being together. Even if you're not speaking a lot. It's still better than him being locked in his room weeping on his bed. Be sure to tell him that if he wants to talk about anything you're there, but you won't ask him to. Telling him you won't pressure him into talking about his problems will reassure him.

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5 Name: Thunder!3GqYIJ3Obs : 2008-05-01 14:12 ID:5E06Xsdv

>>4 I agree with this. when two of my friends suffered heartbreak, they really bonded on how horribly their exes treated them. I've never been in a serious relationship before, so I couldn't really offer input, but I called them the 'Broken hearts club.' Heh.

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6 Name: Thunder!3GqYIJ3Obs : 2008-05-01 16:21 ID:Heaven

a lot of errors in my post, sorry...that's what I get for not reading it through before hitting 'reply'

*just by letting HIM know you want to help

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7 Name: soccerfuu9 : 2008-05-02 00:06 ID:jm2SagKo

Dude, his life is already safe because he has a great friend in you.

Anyways, first of all...DON'T TAKE HIM OUT TO DRINK. My God...I hate it when a lot of people resort to alcohol to release their problems (happened to me once...ain't happening again). Since he's in college right now, why don't you pay him a visit or vice versa, and you guys just hang out (i.e. park, beach, internet cafe, etc.). Eventually, you guys will sit down and he'll probably end up telling his problems to you (one of my best friends does that to me). Be patient about this...because you don't want to increase his depression level.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-02 01:36 ID:BQoO21ZD

You know, "take him out on a drink" is very different to "take him out and get drunk out of your skulls". Being sitting in a rather noisy but not too much place like a pub, in a semi-lit environment, with a cold beer, is quite a great way to open up.

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9 Name: soccerfuu9 : 2008-05-02 03:17 ID:jm2SagKo

>>8 my bad

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-02 03:39 ID:SUfuon++

>>1 You are being selfish, first of all he needs TIME to get over this; it can take months ,a year,...Leave him alone, he needs to heal and when he does HE will make the first move (like talk to you,joke,whatever).

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11 Name: Thunder!3GqYIJ3Obs : 2008-05-02 05:37 ID:5E06Xsdv

>>10 he does need time, I agree with this, but it's not selfish to want to make a friend feel better. He won't get over it right away, obviously, but when you're really depressed, it's nice to have people like OP just saying "hey, I care about you, I'm here for you, man," don't you think?

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