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errrr, how do i do this? (21)


1 Name: egaaaah : 2008-05-09 15:40 ID:iEBxE1m1

Okay, so this is how it all is goin down...
i've been with my gf for 9 months come the 11th, and i've been faithful to her. we're in a LDR.

but, just a few weeks ago i met this girl in class and she is amazing. definetly not nearly as good looking as my gf, but she has this something that makes me feel very attracted to her.

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2 Name: Kohei : 2008-05-09 16:08 ID:hMuIBVqC

I can kind of understand your situation but I think more information about this other girl is needed, such as your current relationship with her and why her personality seems to click with yours or... however you would say that, if you know what I mean.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-09 18:53 ID:S42rqEJg

>ask this other girl out, and if she says yes break up wiht my gf

Yes.

4 Name: egaaaah : 2008-05-10 07:16 ID:n1ccc5GS

the other girl;
so basically i was talking with her in class today and i noticed she ahd a giant cookie in the shape of a flower, i didnt want to ask about it becasue i was scared of the answer (possible bf?) but i guess she won it from her spanish teacher. that's when one of her friends come up and are like "hey, did (guy) give that to you? i hear you two are back together" and she stares at him, and i see she gives a quick look at my expression and then turns to him and says she's not. so idk, there might be some major drama wrapped up in all that.

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-10 07:55 ID:KJImeUJr

>>4
Better ask her what the friend's comment was about. You don't want to dump your current gf, go out with her, and then deal with ex drama immediately afterwards.
You might also want to have a heart to heart with your current gf. Have a frank discussion about the fact that you realize you may not be showing her enough attention, but that she needs to understand that you love her, but sometimes need time to yourself to finish important assignments. Then ask her if there's anything you can do to make her feel secure in your love for her while still allowing you a bit more freedom. Don't say anything accusatory, just try to see if there's some middle ground that can be reached. If so, great, give it a try and see how it turns out. If not, then maybe it isn't meant to be.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-10 09:25 ID:lkPJ3TtM

Tell her:

Girl Friend,
Good Fights,

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-10 15:01 ID:U1JQUelD

loll be cautious though, sometimes tomboys are tomboys-- but they are still girls. SOMETIMES, they will turn somewhat more girly when you do end up being together... will you then dump her when you find out that she's also clingy? lol... talk it out with your girlfriend... let her know you're serious about this; and if she does not listen to you; well that's just too bad--- break up with your girlfriend because of your girlfriend.. not because of another girl!!! Deal with one relationship at a time! in my POV i think asking a girl out behind your girlfriend's back is cheating.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-11 01:12 ID:obGhW5vy

>>7
Very good advice.

Fix all your current issues with your current gf (Whether that be her backing off a bit, or you breaking up with her).

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9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-11 01:13 ID:n1ccc5GS

Okay, update:
i'm gonna tlak to the other girl more on monday. you know, get ot know her more, get her aim sn, etc. try to extend talking to her out of school.
and i'm pretty peeved at my current gf at the moment. all this week i've been really busy with work and school stuff. my gf has not made things any better. i would tell her we would need to cut down on talking time on the phone because i needed to do hw and she would get mad at me. (we talked for an hour and a half and i told her i had to do hw and she got mad) and then last night. we didnt really talk all day andi called her. we talked for an hour and i told her i was really tired (only got 3 horus of sleep the night before... was working on hw) and it was midnight. so i tell her i'm gonna go to sleep. she gets all mad and is all like... these are her exact words "omg, if you dont have time fo rme anymore then dont bother calling me anymore" and then at that point i'm really tired so i'm like "w/e, i'm going. bye" and i hang up. i wake up this morning with a message left at 3am with her saying she's sorry and all that. i can tell things are gonna get worse when i break the news to her tonight that i'm gonna be working sunday (our 9 month aniversary) so blehhhhh, i'm just getting tired of it. if it continues past next week i'm gonna talk to her about it and tell her what might happen (i'm gonna work on getting to know the other girl better first, i realize i dont really knwo much about her personal life)

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10 Name: 8 : 2008-05-11 01:38 ID:obGhW5vy

Hmmm. Her clingyness is definately not too attractive. It'd be a way different story if you enjoyed talking to her, and didn't cringe at the idea of telling her that you're working on your 9 month anniversary.
With a relationship, it should never be a "Crap. She's calling me again." thing. At least, not from my idea of love. Have a blunt talk with your gf about her clingyness, and see what she does. If she freaks out on you again, I would seriously give this relationship a look, and ask why you're still in it, and whether you really feel like it can last.

11 Name: egaaaah : 2008-05-26 08:48 ID:n1ccc5GS

Well, basically the bitchiness is back. She's been complaining to me all day today on how her life sucks since her sister came home. She cant take a hint that after hearing her complain for the first 2 hours that i just didnt care anymore. i nearly said "you're sister is a bitch. get over it" but that woulda made things worse. i just made it obvious i didnt care and she didnt notice. hell, it's 1 45am when i hang up with her (only 10 45 for her) and i tell her i'm tired and i'm gonna go to bed, she just gets pissy and leaves.

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12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-26 12:20 ID:qgn5KIQI

If I were you I'd tell her exactly this:

"look, you're too fucking clingy, it's annoying as hell, it's turning me off. It's getting to a point were I don't even feel like talking to you. You're driving me away with this shit, and I'm already thinking of breaking it up with you. So would you please fucking stop"

13 Name: egaaaah : 2008-06-05 07:06 ID:n1ccc5GS

hey, i'm back...
I broke up with her. I feel like the worst person in the world right now, i never thought breaking up with her would feel like this. i expected a more satisfied feeling. but... I dont know. I mean, I'm happy that i'm not with her anymore. but the way she reacted. and shit that happend... she wanted to try work things out but i got annoied because i just want a clean break, so i started yelling. I knew she was sick, but i yelled anyways. i guess halfway through my rant she threw up, and she couldnt get to the toilet because she broke her foot a while back. so then later i hear her mom come in and start screaming at her for throwing up on the carpet (gross i know), and she's just asking her mom to listen to her, she obviously just wanted a hug or something but her mom kept screaming... I heard it all, how she thinks that she is a dissapointment/burden on the family finacially, how she needs to stop hiding behind all this "oh, woe is me" shit, and how she just needs to "suck it up! stop being such a little baby bitch!!!" those were the exact words of her mom. I just never knew the break up would go like this

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-05 09:43 ID:WYNfqcnD

you made a big step man!
brave enough to get out of hell!

dont worry, i dunno how old she is or you are, but i guess shes young enough to get over it and start a new life with some other guy.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-05 14:05 ID:oz03JFdz

>shes young enough to get over it and start a new life with some other guy

To be honest, >>13 doesn't sound like he's sure this is what he wants.

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16 Name: PK : 2008-06-05 14:36 ID:cdamI5Og

>>11

It's considered cheating if it's something you have to hide from your girlfriend.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-05 14:47 ID:U1JQUelD

phone call break ups suck don't they?

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-05 16:49 ID:H9Qr7UDn

egaaah...You sound pretty young, especially since you broke with her over the phone. Next time, do it person. But if you are as young as I expect, your relationship with her wasn't going to last forever anyway.

It seems to me you like the tomboy better since you decided to dump your girlfriend. I think that was better than the way-and-see approach, making your ex seem like a backup. Clingy relationships are hard (though I did notice on one of your complaints about phone calls...YOU CALLED HER) and I personalyl prefer tomboys over girly-girls.

19 Name: 13 : 2008-06-06 03:53 ID:MmysByH2

>>15

well but its obvious he doesnt like her right? he says she annoys him. so if he cares about her, even a bit, since he seemed to feel bad about the breakup, i guess he can at least hope she will find some other guy who can bear her immatureness? it seems hes not the perfect guy for the girl cuz he doesnt love her anymore. so he can hope that right?

20 Name: egaaaah : 2008-06-06 03:57 ID:n1ccc5GS

>>14
yea, we're both pretty young. still in HS. thanks man. now that it's been a day i feel better about the decision i made

>>15

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21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-06 04:59 ID:cSlPOS68

I think it would probably be better if you two did go your seperate ways. LDR are hard (lol sorry I missed that before, this is 18) and it seems its just not working out.