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If you could go back and change one thing... (14)


14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-25 05:25 ID:29sbZrsh

>>13

I'm aware, it just occured to me after you posted that it bothers me a lot. I mean, IRL, I lack emotions. And I keep involving myself in these situations where I know I don't want any part of in the end. Just because even just for that certain moment, I felt the thing I am usually lacking on, emotions, specifically, love. Then I tell myself that I can handle it till the end, but I can't.

It's so pitiful that I don't even want to think about it anymore. I've been in relashionships with wrong people, and maybe loving me back could be considered their mistake. But I know it isn't, those things happened so that me and my ex-girlfriends could learn from the experience. I have learned a lot of things with my experiences from my previous relationships. And maybe one of them is learning that i'm better off being single. I think romantic relationships doesn't suit everyone - e.g. me.

Everyone has insecurities. I was very insecure, i'm not as insecure now, I think i'm even fairly confident.

Also, the experiences I had made me fear (and somehow hate) girls/women.