What would it be? Would it be a crush you felt you should have asked out? A relationship you feel you could have saved? Its really not to good to be looking back on the past like this, but sometimes it can be fun to fantasies about what could have been.
Although I don't regret the decision to loving my current girlfriend...I always wondered this...
There was this girl in high school that was (like my girlfriend) a girl met by accident. We met after my dumbass best friend pushed me into a crowd during a school dance cause no other girls would dance with me. Actually, she's been trying to dance with me all night, and we ended up being together the rest of the time there.
I'd not have talked to her in the first place.
It is messy.
but wouldn't you regret losing the time that you two did have together, wasn't the dance a wonderful day in your life?
No, not really. I suppose I shouldn't have ever been in a relationship in the first place, because having to think to feel emotion instead of letting unidentified feelings sweep you away is how I was the entire time. So, when I wasn't thinking about her, I didn't give a shit. And when I was physically with her, in bed, having sex, I exerted all my mental capacities just to find a reason for having stayed with her, for having been fucking her, and for telling her that I 'loved' her, when I honestly did not. She threatened to kill herself often if I didn't 'get back' together with her. Therefore I often did so at the expense of my time, and the sparing of her life.
I'm in exactly the same situation as you, only that she still believes I love her.
I'm not made for romance too, but maybe in a different way than you.
>maybe she did it
I meant killing herself, not communicating with me.
>>11 Its because you probably have emotional instabilities as well, being attracted to people with the propensity towards psycho-ness is really telling, normal healthy people are attracted to other normal healthy people.
I'm aware, it just occured to me after you posted that it bothers me a lot. I mean, IRL, I lack emotions. And I keep involving myself in these situations where I know I don't want any part of in the end. Just because even just for that certain moment, I felt the thing I am usually lacking on, emotions, specifically, love. Then I tell myself that I can handle it till the end, but I can't.