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What are we doing? (57)


1 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-22 17:35 ID:Ig97Uqkn

Hello people.
I need some help here!

It's quite a long story:

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-22 19:06 ID:nQwQ6868

hmm... try dropping some very subtle hints. dont go too far out though or else it may backfire. like a slight touch on his shoulder or torso or something typical like that. of course dont just do it at random. you gotta time it like after he says a funny joke or something or when you two might be clowning around. then just gauge his reaction.

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3 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-22 19:32 ID:Ig97Uqkn

Yeah I know what you mean. The thing is, I'm not exactly the type of girl who cares about clothing. I don't wear make-up, and honestly, this isn't lack of modesty, I think I'm not bad-looking. I know this might sound a bit egocentric but I don't dress up for guys, I want them to notice me first for my personality (don't we all).
And he does gives me small touches once in a while, like...massaging my shoulders but really quick as in saying: "I'm here."

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4 Name: 43 : 2008-05-22 21:49 ID:Znq+c4bV

>I don't dress up for guys, I want them to notice me first for my personality

You sound like a great chick.

5 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-22 22:00 ID:Ig97Uqkn

Thank you! ^^

Although the truth is that girls who dress up "hot" and wear make-up and do really care about their appearance, appeal more the guys.
Which is fine for me, I'm not in a hurry and I think it's better to wait to get the guy who's really into the "whole me" than change myself and begin worrying more than I should about my appearance.

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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-23 01:56 ID:pzobxym5

It sucks to say, but honestly if you have already notice that he treats you the same as everyone else, he probably doesn't like in that way. From my experience, I treat girls that I am not romantically interested in the same as anyone else.

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7 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-23 11:18 ID:nbHMTiLL

Yes, I've always considered that he isn't into me because he treats me like everyone else. But the thing is, I treat him as everyone else too, it's not like I've gave him any sign.
Perhaps he's too afraid of a rejection and is waiting for me. That's my positive irrealistic thinking.

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8 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-23 13:21 ID:nbHMTiLL

So I've been thinking and maybe I'll do nothing about it.
Better do nothing than risk our friendship. I dunno what'll do if we stopped talking and things got awkward between us. I'll just be even more depressed about it.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-23 14:11 ID:VgAmi7Gk

"I would rather regret something I did do than something I didn't."

if you don't, you may stay friends, but you may never find out. I guess it depends on how much you like this guy.

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10 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-23 14:25 ID:nbHMTiLL

I really care about him. I just don't have the courage to face him and say: "I love you".
I prefer to take things slowly, maybe I'll start giving small hints and signs and see if he gets it!

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11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-23 14:46 ID:VgAmi7Gk

DO NOT SAY I LOVE YOU.

If he doesn't feel the same, there's no greater guarantee to scare a guy off. Start giving hints and then lead up to confession. But even in confession, you should try something like, "I really like you."

12 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-23 16:07 ID:nbHMTiLL

Thank god I shouldn't say something like "I Love You".
Even if I should, I probably wouldn't have the guts. Not that my feelings aren't real.
I'm just too inexperienced and have no idea how to start things.
This is due mainly because I'm a bit immature for my age. I always take things lightly and try to cheer up the mood, trying to make everyone laugh and stuff, and maybe people don't see anything else in me because I'm always like this. If people don't take me seriously, how can they think of me as a girl who can have real deep emotions? I mean, I think a person like me isnt exactly what a guy is looking forward to is it?

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-23 19:45 ID:Mrm2pwAh

Why would you want to keep the friendship? You won't be his real friend because as soon as he meets someone else, you're going to be torn and heartbroken. You're only option is reaction.

"Nothing worth having in life comes easy."

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14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-23 19:48 ID:Mrm2pwAh

And one more thing, I personally like girls like you, the kind that are funny and don't take things too seriously. It means your not the type who likes drama. It's scary and terrifying, but all you have to say is, "I like you."

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15 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-23 20:20 ID:gW8TKuO1

I guess you're right. I have to do something before I regret it.
Gotta gather the courage though, wether if he says something positive or negative, I dont know what Ill do next so I gotta think of something!

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16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-23 22:42 ID:u7mGvgfm

Bold and direct, "I really like you, we could go out" would be alright. We guys are usually simple; a simple and direct approach will work best, instead of all that hinting crap we have a hard time interpreting. Life should be simple and nice. You say what you want, you get it if it's possible. Good luck!

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-24 15:55 ID:497FuoQt

your welcomecome cinemagirl, good luck

18 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-24 18:52 ID:gW8TKuO1

I'll write updates after I meet him.
Probably Monday or Tuesday!!

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-24 22:53 ID:497FuoQt

Cool, don't forget!

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-25 03:02 ID:I7//e0qq

>>16

Is a clear-headed guy. Listen to him! Us guys are straightforward simple creatures, we don't pick up well on the whole world of female subtleties.

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21 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-26 07:33 ID:q5haZFzR

Tomorrow will be THE day, hopefully.
It's the only day I'm 100% sure we'll be together alone for some time.
But one thing is bothering me lately.
I mean, aren't boys the one who effectively are the more straighforward about this types of confession? I mean, as I mentioned before, i'm not the type of girl who actually likes to take the first step. You can call me old-fashioned, but that's how I am.

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22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-26 18:22 ID:Z28TajRW

There are a lot of ways to indicate affection.

The - is he into me - game is pointless. It takes too long and you might never find out. Here's also another tibbit about guys. They're never into you, but they're always into you.

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23 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-27 20:33 ID:Slkrfkkq

I appreciate you being so direct and honest, but, although by disagreeing I do not mean to say that your theorie "every female is a potential fuck buddy" isn't true. I believe it is.
But

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24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-27 20:33 ID:JBgYLvcy

He probably hasn't done anything yet because he doesn't like you! That's why you have to go for it, because maybe he hasnt thought it of it!

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-27 22:32 ID:u7mGvgfm

>>21 and >>23 :

> i'm not the type of girl who actually likes to take the first step. You can call me old-fashioned, but that's how I am.
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26 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-28 07:16 ID:Soh3g6xY

Because it's like waving a red flag in front of his eyes and say "I'M HERE! YES, I'm A GIRL...and quite an interesting one!!!"

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-28 07:38 ID:H+SBW5Qc

How old are you CinemaGirl?
I personally would just ask him if he could think about a relationship with you and if he's not interested in more than friendship then that would be OK too I guess? There are other guys.

28 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-28 07:49 ID:Soh3g6xY

19

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-28 07:53 ID:H+SBW5Qc

That's still young. But you're still older than I am...

30 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-28 08:01 ID:Soh3g6xY

Yes.
I supose I'm too immature for my age. My friends say that all the time (although they don't mind that about me. only if it leads towards a silly argument), and I completely admit that sometimes I can be extremely childish. I live with it for years :P
Maybe that's my problem.

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31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-28 08:06 ID:H+SBW5Qc

>>30
You are afraid of positive answers of him too?
What's this topic about then...?
What is your goal with that boy?

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32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-28 09:33 ID:Heaven

>"every female is a potential fuck buddy"

As a guy, to this I would say both yes and no.

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33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-28 22:24 ID:u7mGvgfm

>>26
The problem with that being...?

>>30

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34 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-30 01:21 ID:OJexHNZ4

Ok, time for updates

35 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-30 01:31 ID:OJexHNZ4

We went to the cinema again.
But before I explain what really happened (or what didnt happened), I think I ought to explain how we ended up in the cinema, so you can understand a bit better our friendship:

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36 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-30 01:45 ID:OJexHNZ4

Ok, so, he payed me the cinema (I warned him before-hand that I was short on money, but he still insisted me to come, that he would borrow me the money) ---> Although I must say that he would do this for anyone, he's this nice to everyone.

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37 Name: Thunder!RQhIqRxs5I!!QiI33I8Q : 2008-05-30 02:44 ID:VgAmi7Gk

Well, CinemaGirl, I can't say that my advice will be very good, since it didn't seem to work very well for me (or it did work, until recently XD) but who knows, you may have better luck with your boy.

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38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-05-30 05:41 ID:c7fMZFa0

It seems like that he wanted to make out to from what I read. I think he might be interested. Guys don't ask girls to the movies because their buddies. And since that's the case, I change what I said earlier (I'm #13 & 14), I think now he should make the move. If he doesn't, he's a coward.

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39 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-30 10:11 ID:AyNCOyJE

Thing is, if you're thinking he's interested in me because he chose another seats on the cinema (well, it really was so we could face the screen in the middle, i supose) or because he wanted to say something and he didnt, well, maybe because he was going to say something stupid like joking with the movie and thought it was too silly and decided not to

40 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-05-30 19:49 ID:z9m/4Ndm

Oh and there's something I forgot to mention about him, once, long time ago, like, 6 months or something, me, my best friend and him were talking about life in general and she asked Indiana if he had ever dated and he said he didnt.
When I asked why, he simply said, shrugging:

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41 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-06-01 00:07 ID:Al2zvt9c

I really need your opinions of what to do because we've just entered the exams season and we won't see each other much since he lives far away...
I supose that if he was interested he would've said something about meeting for study or something else.
I'm really losing my hopes here.

42 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-01 00:22 ID:RXpbIdaG

>I supose that if he was interested he would've said something about meeting for study or something else.

Propose the idea?

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43 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-06-01 11:31 ID:Al2zvt9c

>>42 Thank you for the tips, now I understand a bit more of what to do ^^ I'll keep updating!

44 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-01 19:35 ID:7uJDaQSf

>>40

>Now that I think of it, he's 20 and didnt ever date?
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45 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-06-01 22:11 ID:aK0FhlUC

>>Just don't let his age and lack of dating experience bother you

It doesnt bother me his age, because we're actually almost the same. Only one year difference. It bugs me the fact that I don't know his reasons. Maybe he didn't offically date, but he must have the ocasional...i dunno, adventure. I know him very well, but when it comes to very personal stuff I may say I dont know him. So I dont know if hes the type of person who doesnt want to be on a relationship. Thats one of the reasons why I dunno if I should be more clear to him on how about i feel...

46 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-02 02:40 ID:7uJDaQSf

>>45
44 here.
I've never had any.. "adventures" myself, so maybe he hasn't either, but maybe you know something we don't about what he may have done in his past. I think 42 has it pretty much covered on how to bring it up, though. Just trust your instincts when he replies. Good luck!

47 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-02 17:30 ID:497FuoQt

46, you need to get out!! Maybe you should socialize outside of work/school....it's called having a life! Nobody wants to date a guy who doesn't go anywhere.

There's more to life than school and work ya know...

48 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-02 18:01 ID:RGGtwt0b

>>47
Kinda' hard since most of my not-in-class time is spent doing homework/projects, and I can't budget anything since I'm living on school loans and don't know what the next payout amount will be. I don't even really know where I could go to socialize anyhow [especially in the summer in 90+ degree humid weather..ugh.]

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49 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-06-02 18:39 ID:mVAo2Ch0

>>Anyway, let's not derail CinemaGirl's thread with my problems. =]

Honestly I don't mind, since somehow it's connected to mine.

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50 Name: CinemaGirl : 2008-06-02 18:40 ID:mVAo2Ch0

I mean >>48

51 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-03 18:36 ID:gxpu1PfZ

Yup. Even with a lot of home work, life can't be all work and no play. It's just not worth it.

52 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-03 22:34 ID:Heaven

>>51
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy D:

53 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-04 03:51 ID:A1Vz+rdl

Well...I know there's things other than work/school/homework, but for me those are primarily sleep, cooking myself dinner, occasional Touhou related stuff (playing the games, archiving story threads, etc.), and trying to squeeze in a round of TF2 every so often. The only thing I have resembling free time is on weekends, and even then only after 2PM since I like to sleep in. I'd like to do the park/garden thing, but in 95+ degree weather nobody else is outside, heh. I'll try that one when the weather cools down! Any suggestions where could I get info on weekend activities that are free, indoors, and preferably require minimal driving?

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54 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-04 03:56 ID:7KjQG1JJ

>>48 I understand the monetary and homework worries, and am just curious if you're also reserved because many social activities appear to be or end up being boring. Perhaps the issue is more of needing to find activities that you find enjoyable so that going out isn't a waste of time, even if you don't meet up with someone cool.

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55 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-04 04:04 ID:RXpbIdaG

It's amusing that this kind of line is lame until you get confident enough to say it jokingly, and then it becomes a funny one. But until then I highly advice against it, heh.

As for conversation openers... well, just asking opinion over something trivial (and I insist, something trivial) works well, like the name of a recently adopted cat or something. Even if it's bullshit, just say it's for a fried who can't decide or whatever. Then use what they say to you to fork the conversation and keep going. A good idea is to start by telling people you won't bother them long (ie you've got something to do elsewhere), so they don't immediately label you as "annoying person". If the conversation is doing well, you can then ignore this, if it doesn't go well, you have an exit door all ready. If they remind you about it, try to guess if they say so because they want you to stay or go. If it's stay, say you have a change of plans, that it can wait or whatever. If it's go, just go.

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56 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-05 16:40 ID:7jDhh32X

>>53 This is going to be long... Okay first thing you should do is cut down on the videos games. And I have NO idea what archiving story threads even is, but archiving for fun doesn't seem that important and seems sort of like a waste of time.

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57 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-05 16:41 ID:7jDhh32X

>>53 This is going to be long... Okay first thing you should do is cut down on the videos games. And I have NO idea what archiving story threads even is, but archiving for fun doesn't seem that important and seems sort of like a waste of time.

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