OP, I think we're of the same kind. My relationships have all been long distance, though I did stay with one and she with me for a few days here and there. What I've gotten the gist of is that there's no such thing as love at first sight, and that you also have to purposefully engage in deeper conversation. If you sit and talk about meaningless things or about your feelings all of the time (or those things you agree on), you're not going to know if you'd really fit or like a girl long term.
Of course, to get to this point you have to be talking to girls. I think the hardest thing for me is not seeing women as potential partners, because, in some sense, I think you really have to be able to do that; see them for the person they are, not as what /might/ be.
If you have confidence issues, then see a counselor. You can find one that's pretty cheap anymore. Furthermore, you might want to look up some dating tips websites and download some dating torrents. Things like Pick Up Artist stuff, while often full of a kind of misogyny and other bullshit, also do have some good tips that can be extracted. (Ie, Neil Strauss talking about particular habits women look for. You can usually find some live pick-up videos that show some of these things to be the case. I wouldn't recommend following a system, though. Being authentic to who you are (or want to be) is always most important.)