One of my best mates hooked in with a girl i used to like last night in front of me. Of course, he didnt know i used to like her and i thought i was over her so everything should be ok. But its bothered me more than i thought it would. Im not angry at him or anything but its put a huge hole in my ego and drive to do anything.
Well, there's a thing you can do: alter your comportment to match what "catches" the girl, then use all the advantages you have to keep her and make her happy.
In short, find a compromise.
I understand how you feel. Most you see can be used in general, but there are always the exceptions. You should search more eagerly (I know you must've been doing this already), but maybe you only like girls who like shitty boys. MaYbe, the girls who arent like that, never caught your attention. You should consider that, because that special girl you mentioned are the type of girls who can catch most of guy's attention. girls who are more into compromises arent like that.
Girls do this because they feel inferior, unworthy, it's too good to be true, they're afraid that this time, it will be them who fucks shit up and they can't stand the thought of it.
I'm a girl and honestly say I would never go for an asshole like that, there are many girls who don't, my guess is you are going for the wrong type of girl yourself and/or looking in the wrong places.
My advice is to cut those bitches off, they probably think you are some kind of fall back for when they want to actually settle down.