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What do you look for in a lover? (95)

1 Name: Daydreamer : 2008-06-20 12:48 ID:szOjcVDg

No desperate situations or horribly entangled feelings in this thread, just some light-hearted discussion about something I'm curious about.

So, what do you look for in a lover? What makes you love someone?

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-20 19:35 ID:YOsV4K+r

Female, hetero.
When I was new to love and sex, I wanted a guy similiar to the girl you described, >>1. Nice, caring, not-threatening.
But when you gain some experience, you start to look for more challenging companions ;)

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3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-20 22:56 ID:Heaven

>>2 = describing all the things I hate about myself.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-22 16:50 ID:YOsV4K+r

>>3 If you hate yourself, you are not self-confident. So you can't be the man of my dreams, sorry.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-22 17:07 ID:lS1njFfn

Male, 23, Hetero.
What I'd be looking for in my ideal lover is a connection on every level; that is, physical, emotional, intellectual.
The girl would have to be a bit quirky, a bit of a daydreamer, intelligent and very curious about stuff. Not afraid to pick up challenges, or to talk to new people and such. She would be feminine, but more in the "cute" sense than in the "hot" one. A sweet soft voice is a must-have, and I noticed that I am very sensitive to some persons' scents. I also am more attracted to girls that look somewhat fragile.

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6 Name: Daydreamer : 2008-06-23 10:51 ID:szOjcVDg

>>2 = describing all the things that make me avoid people. But to each their own. :)

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-23 17:56 ID:Heaven

>>2 Describing everything that she'll end up hating and bitching about to "nice guys."

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-24 20:29 ID:YOsV4K+r

>>7 I've been with this guy for the last 4 years of my life. He's just perfect, yay <3

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-24 22:09 ID:Heaven

>>2 is a troll, or a self-destructive retard

/thread [?]

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-25 00:39 ID:Lofc4cdm

Girl, Hetro

Definatly need a guy who is nothing like me but totally like me in the same way :P as in we have to have some of the same interest and a common sense of humor but the guy i really need is the kinda guy who can complete me and help me in areas that i suck.

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11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-25 07:38 ID:YOsV4K+r

>>9 Why would you say that? The harsh reaction on my post start to confuse me.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-25 14:18 ID:Heaven

Posters on this board just hate it when nice guys lose. On the other hand, I'm glad you're happy on a complex rather than superficial level. Good job at understanding someone truly.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-25 14:21 ID:Heaven

I don't see anything wrong with it, but most people would see your guy as a jerk. As long as you're happy.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-26 01:47 ID:islnkUla

Girl, hetero

Smart, he has to be smart--preferably smarter than me. He should know how to behave like a gentleman when he needs to, and how to dress himself for nice occasions (having someone else pick out his dress clothes doesn't count.) I have a very odd sense of humor, and many geeky interests--sci-fi, fantasy, anime, historical reenactment--I need someone who is a geek too. He needs to share my sense of humor, which is very odd and perverted, and be a bit kinky, too.

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15 Name: GOD : 2008-06-26 02:39 ID:QGXnzurM

A Virgin Female, I had some fun with Mary ho ho ho!

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-26 02:41 ID:Heaven

stop being unfunny please

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-26 04:42 ID:8Hrskm5D

Male, hetero

A gamer girl. Not just casual kinda games, but games rpgs, fps, action, whatever. It is very selfish to ask for someone like that, but it's really all I want. I waste most of my time on games, so I'd like to be able to talk to someone about what I'm doing beyond 'saving the princess' or 'beating the level.'

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18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-27 19:10 ID:islnkUla

>>17 I don't think you seem too demanding. I know girls like that--and mostly what they want is a guy who'll understand and not think they're really weird for being a gamer.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-29 04:18 ID:HBg2IKzA

Female, Hetero

Has to be smart, but not necessarily genius. Willing to debate about things but not persuade me to switch my opinion completely. Gamer, definitely. Someone who doesn't care about gender and gender roles. Like, if I were to have a baby but had to keep working, he would be willing to stay home and take care of it. (Haha, what are the chances?) Wouldn't mind if he was a jackass, as long as he wasn't that way with me. It would be nice if he was clean and well organized, because I certainly am not and it would help if one of us was. Talkative, too, and not shy to start a conversation.

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20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-29 14:05 ID:YOsV4K+r

>>19, may I introduce >>17 to you?

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-30 14:06 ID:Sc0HcbaH

Male, 23, Hetero

She must at least look average and must not be obese (a little chubby is okay), I don't really care about other physical features. I don't really care about how smart she is as long as she's not trying to be somebody else she's not, I'd love an idiot for being an idiot rather than a very intelligent woman pretending not to be intelligent so that she can come down to my level. She must be at least clean (like have a decent hygiene). She must be nice, like you know, the kind that gives food to stray dogs. She must be productive and responsible. And lastly, she should be someone who's always smiling, just because I think she'd look beautiful if she smiled genuinely even if she looks average.

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22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-30 15:03 ID:GfUPc+ZY

Female, 19, Hetero.

I don't want a flashy looking type of guy, I just want a nice guy who is laid-back, modest, yet possesses self confidence. Like an understated level of coolness in my opinion. He has to be funny, or at least have a good sense of humour. I love laughing, and I think it's important to be around cheery/optimistic people. I also want him to be intuitive, having regard for how his actions affects others, or even noticing my slight change in mood. It would make me feel really secure when I'm with him, and trust him moreso. If he had a special talent in something, that would be really hot. Not necessary but.

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23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-30 20:30 ID:Heaven

Sounds a bit like me. Or maybe not at all, I guess, depending on who's the beholder.

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-06 15:11 ID:527PEkes

male, 18, hetero
Sadistic sense of humour, not like the "haha, the guy fell off a ladder" but more a "drop him down a trapdoor into a pool of phiranhas" type thing. If I can see them leading a legion of doom to conquer the world, then they're perfect. Another thing that's important is that they're apathetic and just as willing as me to lie in bed awake doing nothing for a few hours each morning.

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25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-06 19:14 ID:VTsdfzLd

Male, 20, Hetero.

I think my current girlfriend fits most of what I'm looking for. Fairly quiet and shy, but not to the point where neither of us can start a conversation. Confident of herself and her abilities without being cocky. Into Anime and manga and much prefers a quiet night in to a big night out on the town. Likes physical attention and being hugged/cuddled/kissed, but at the same time not being a sex-maniac (had an ex like that, completely wore me out and got on my nerves in the end. Current gf is a Virgin, so that'll be interesting to see what happens).

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26 Name: lil_snow.angel : 2008-07-06 22:56 ID:vk2GYSue

how's an asian a bonus lol >>25?

well, >>22 has got my words. i'm looking for that type of guy. i guess most realistic n sensible sort of gurls usually get put off n disgusted by guys who seek too much attention or r too sure of themselves. cockiness is not wat a gurl looks for.

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27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-07 01:18 ID:VTsdfzLd


Because I find shy asian girls very attractive :3

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-07 01:18 ID:VTsdfzLd


Because I find shy asian girls very attractive :3

29 Name: 22 : 2008-07-09 10:11 ID:GfUPc+ZY


And your ideal partner would be..?

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-09 11:28 ID:rJS9hcJu

Nearing 20, Male, Hetero

As far as personality goes, they'd have to be willing to put up with my antics; those of somebody balls to the wall and over the top.

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31 Name: Ang : 2008-07-09 12:06 ID:cB33v+bC

As a girl, I would want a guy who is taller than me >.<
Someone who is confident and can make good decisions, but not someone who is over confident, there is a fine line! Basically just a geniuen guy who is honest, loyal and trustworthy. Someone I know I can trust and will not betray me, someone who I can share everything with and not feel awkward, someone who brings the most out of me :D

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-09 15:59 ID:aCRGLr/f

Read >>5. That's me.

33 Name: 22 : 2008-07-10 04:06 ID:GfUPc+ZY

Marry me. Haha, no seriously, you've pretty much described me except that I suck at singing. You give me some hope lol.

34 Name: 5/23 : 2008-07-10 18:23 ID:aCRGLr/f

Well if we ever meet, who knows what might happen.
Let's just hope there are some other people with the same criterion out there.

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35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-10 19:06 ID:o3rwiG6c

Female, 18, primarily hetero. (Girls are hot but I don't get along well with most.)

I like fun guys. I like to be teased, and I like us to keep each other laughing a lot. I want someone who will go out and do stuff with me - go to concerts, movies, etc. Someone who has an interest in good entertainment without being pretentious. Being willing and able to defend me in a mosh pit is a must.

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36 Name: jappie : 2008-07-11 09:55 ID:KzbAy/Pq

Male 17..

Well what i basically look for in a lover is that she's funny sweet and smiles alot. as for appearance, it could be anything, just as long as i'd find the girl cute in some sort of way. and as for hobbies, anything fun would be great.. ^^

37 Name: Lucas-kun : 2008-07-11 14:06 ID:Heaven

16, male.

I want... a mature and introspective girl who would sit with me and talk, play vidyas, watch a movie, cuddle on a cold day, or just do nothing. Appearance doesn't matter for me.

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38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-11 17:51 ID:Heaven

a guy that's funny, nice, non threatening, not a control freak, not an attention seeker, not a pedo/ephebo/rapist, doesn't have rape fantasies or other f**ked up fetishes, honest, modest, intelligent, inquistive, wants to get married and have kids and doesn't drink and do drugs.

39 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-11 18:56 ID:IKDFc6kY

21, female
I want him to be my best friend and of course i want to be his best friend too. If i think more about it i want some like my dad... big oedipus and narcissus there since i'm similar to my dad. Meaning: overconfident, competitive, egocentric, prideful, and fun... and by fun i mean, no alcohol included and no dancing (because i'm immune to alcohol and hate crowded hot places), also playing cards and family games (UNO is a must in my family), talking while drinking coffee, going fishing, watching movies... also, kids follow me everywhere because i'm one of them; meaning he should like children and not be surprised at looking a 21 years-old girl climbing trees, playing hide & seek, football and other stuff with 6-15 kids. Sunday is sacred, he better doesn't bother me when my favorite football team is playing. Also it would be nice if he liked physical contact, since i'm... not afraid but uncomfortable with physical contact (i'm tsundere about hugging).... now that i think about i'm tsundere about anything in a romantic relationship, my poor SO is going to have a hard time breaking my shell, hahahaha.

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40 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-11 20:39 ID:cB33v+bC

exact same thoughts as me! LOL!
It totally sucks being a tall girl coz so many guys are shorter than you, and then when you get together with someone shorter than you, you get teased about it, and also makes your guy loose a bit of confident because he feels that he isnt the "dominate" one anymore...

41 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-11 20:46 ID:Heaven


>...and doesn't drink and do drugs.
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42 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-11 20:56 ID:cB33v+bC


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43 Name: 30 : 2008-07-11 22:07 ID:BK/dDqVB

If I didn't know any better, I'd say you and me would be a perfect match.

It may seem I was modest in my post(>>30, by the way) but I was just aiming for a few specifics.

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44 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-11 22:49 ID:Heaven

I'm a girl and in a girl she should be pretty, honest, loyal, trustworthy, have a sense of humour, fun and likes to mess around doing silly things, not have alot of issues and moan alot and stuff... >_<

45 Name: 39 : 2008-07-11 23:40 ID:IKDFc6kY

perhaps, but long-distance relationship never work. And i assure you, we probably live 6 hours away.... by plane. Anyway it's funny that you talk about hair. I have a huge complex about my curly hair so i iron it once a week and apply conditioners. Fucking frail hair.

46 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-12 01:27 ID:Heaven

Curly hair is hot.

47 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-12 02:37 ID:eMAhpIYA

also you got my number, bite me

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48 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-12 03:29 ID:cB33v+bC

"Love is being stupid together"

49 Name: 43 and 30 : 2008-07-12 07:39 ID:WiYU65dY

True enough. I could have dealt with the fact we're both tsundere. That's just a minor obstacle that would go away with time, no doubt.

Distance is always a turn off though. It's why I stopped looking and trying when it comes to meeting people online.

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50 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-12 12:09 ID:Heaven

'tsundere' ?

51 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-12 19:05 ID:Heaven


eh wot? >_<

52 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-12 21:10 ID:I161NCSE

Female, hetero

Really, I just someone nice.
I'd want someone who smiles a lot, but he doesn't necessarily have to be extremely gregarious or outgoing if he isn't comfortable with that. I'm socially reserved myself, so I'd rather someone who'd like to have private dates or gatherings with small groups, as opposed to a huge party-goer.

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53 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-22 19:35 ID:szOjcVDg

You sound like a wonderful person.

54 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-22 21:31 ID:9a63CZfp

Big tits... erm... I mean heart.

55 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-23 22:13 ID:szOjcVDg


56 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-23 23:36 ID:Heaven

Oh thanks. I had a feeling I should hate that word, now I know I have to.

57 Name: Beniyasha : 2008-07-24 05:06 ID:GG5lfzLD

I look for someone who is, in a nutshell, not boring. I don't need to put up with the usual girly girl who is always clingy and sensitive. I want someone more capable, someone who isn't going to devour three times her body weight in ice cream just because it didn't work out with some guy. I want someone interesting someone who is worth hanging around with. I'm not saying she shouldn't be totally unfeeling but have some dam pride. I would like to meet someone with a dam spine.

58 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-24 14:10 ID:58NTzP4H

Not boring sounds like a good definition. I want someone with some passion in their life. I want someone who's really into something and wants to share it with me.

Also, kinkyness is a must.

59 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-24 18:52 ID:lM61WPa/


You sound like a really good girl to date :(

60 Name: 52 : 2008-07-24 20:32 ID:779YIV/a


Haha, thank you. I wish more people thought that. XD;

61 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-24 20:36 ID:6UhurQoM

I can feel a romance is blooming here~~~~

62 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-24 21:41 ID:EqdT0knK

Actually, that would be the third one.

63 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-25 02:53 ID:eMAhpIYA

The more straightforward version is that, I just want a girl to fuck. Use her to satisfy my needs for physical closeness and sexual satisfaction. I have no romantic illusions about relationships.

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64 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-25 11:17 ID:lM61WPa/


Haha, I'm far too shy to meet a girl from the internet. Maybe someday, but I don't think I could do it today. Which is weird, because I don't really have many problems meeting girls in real life. Not that that helps me much, hahaha.

65 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-25 23:17 ID:5BJpPazs

there should be a 4-ch date experiment. 4-ch users who live within 50 miles of eachother go out to dinner. potentially breeding the next generation of textboard users.

66 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-25 23:42 ID:7p5NZVhX


67 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-26 06:09 ID:lQB7DrO1

I think more than half of us are desperate enough to make that work.

68 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-26 06:35 ID:4pRrcNKu

laughs at my jokes
just likes being close to me
as open minded as i am

69 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-26 09:08 ID:EKCvuic5

I know I am.

Just slightly.

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70 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-26 09:55 ID:Heaven

Yeah, let's just hope the two of us aren't more than 50 miles apart.

What's a mile anyway?

71 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-26 17:32 ID:RyqqMZ/r

50 miles = 80.4672 kilometeres or so Google says...

About not-boring-girl-idea: isn't it difficult to define? What does it mean?

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72 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-26 23:31 ID:Heaven

They bloom but always seem cut short for some reason or another.

73 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-27 08:10 ID:Heaven

Well it'd be worrying if they didn't.

74 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-27 09:24 ID:Heaven

At this point I really just want someone to smile with me.

75 Name: Plasmid : 2008-08-04 07:33 ID:qnNIxIUi

I agree with 74. I don't really care if she is beauty or not, I really want her to be my shrine of happiness, someone i can trust and depend on..

76 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-04 11:15 ID:3uRQgEGY

We need a google map thingy for that project.

77 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-04 13:02 ID:j+Bm+eKj

Male. Hetero.

I'd want a geekish person. I have no interest in the "super model". They should have the ability to take care of themselves, both body and mental wise.

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78 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-04 13:09 ID:GfUPc+ZY

Do you need to even ask?

79 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-04 13:31 ID:j+Bm+eKj


Judging by the way how females seem to swarm around the templates of idiocy and cockiness. Yes.

80 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-05 12:08 ID:GfUPc+ZY

Well let's put it this way; If those were your principle qualities, then the attention you'd get from females would be enough to answer your question.

81 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-06 01:22 ID:CL5dZYaa

I want a leading man from a Haruki Murakami book.

Observant, even-tempered, but ultimately incomplete in some vital way. "Average", but subtly, ironically self-deprecatory in a way that marks him out from the rest of the crowd.

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82 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-06 11:53 ID:Heaven


Why don't you just quit dealing with this pesky life and disappear right now?

83 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-08 00:56 ID:1LPKYWLZ

You are a fucking twat.

84 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-09 16:32 ID:Heaven

If you ever want to become a prostitute, please contact me. Hell, even before then. I cook!

85 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-10 12:11 ID:Heaven

I pay more than him.

86 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-17 00:38 ID:JeLA8eTG

>>84 I'd take a man who cooked well any day.

87 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-17 00:57 ID:DbujRdNB

Guy. Hetero.

Friendly, childish. Not too smart, because I don't really like being outsmarted(?). Isn't an attention whore. A little more into the introvert side. Shy and/or timid. Oh yeah, funny, and has the ability to draw.

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88 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-17 05:21 ID:GfUPc+ZY

Mom complex? Lol.

I feel wanted anyhow :)

89 Name: Metformin : 2008-08-30 19:26 ID:GOaPR0jW

Male, 24, Hetero.

I've never been in relationship. Hell, i haven't even lost my first kiss. I think I'm a geek type of person and I don't understand much about girls. And that makes me inexperienced in this stuff.

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90 Name: Daydreamer : 2008-12-23 09:06 ID:szOjcVDg

Male, 21, heterosexual. I'm the OP.
It's been six months. I've just written a new description of what I look for in a girl, for a thread on 4chan's /c/. I figured I'd copy-paste it here.

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91 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-23 12:55 ID:6VvBek/d

Male, 31, hetero. Married and a father.

I have never tried to imagine or define what I look for in a love interest. The only criteria I have used are that 1)I feel attracted to her, 2) I feel good to spend time with her". As long as this is the case, I'm fine with the relationship.

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92 Name: Daydreamer : 2008-12-23 14:34 ID:szOjcVDg

I appreciate your laissez-faire point of view. It may be the wiser one.

93 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-25 13:59 ID:Heaven


94 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-26 12:45 ID:VdYTRJYq

pretty hard to write about those things in english 'cause it's not my native language. i hope the text is not unreadable :P

male, 19, hetero

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95 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-26 13:04 ID:VdYTRJYq

pretty hard to write about those things in english 'cause it's not my native language. i hope the text is not unreadable :P

male, 19, hetero

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