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a delicate situation... (20)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-21 13:33 ID:vFEVmkeg

theres a girl i like that has just come out of a 2.5 yr relationship. she only broke up with the guy like 3 days ago and since then ive thought about nothing except for her. when she was with him i kind of pushed the idea that i could go out with her right to the back of my mind, however now it could become a reality and because of this i cant keep my mind off her. i was told a while ago by one of her friends that she likes me (not sure about how true this is, however i have seen signs in the past that would acknowlegde some truth in this statement).

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-21 14:03 ID:Heaven

A year or two I wanted to ask the same question, except where they didn't break up but the guy died and he was my best friend.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-22 12:13 ID:vFEVmkeg

>>2 that sucks balls. how did it turn out?

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-22 12:33 ID:Heaven

>>3 I'm a coward. I left it alone while another guy picked her up. Even today I still have feelings for her, but she's my best friend now (remembering that the guy was previously, so I saw her a lot back then) and I don't want to risk losing that.

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5 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-22 18:12 ID:Z5Au438O

That sounds way too fast for a long term relationship (depending on how old you are 2 and a half years sounds like a really long time) and you may just be the rebound until she snaps back into place and drops you like a hot tamale. Hopefully that won't happen, but the most you could do right now is support her without expecting anything in return while still dropping hint about you guys dating without making a move until she's really over her ex. You probably won't get thrown into the friend zone unless you're really overly sympathetic and indulge her by pitying her rather than helping her get over him by telling her that her feelings (whatever they maybe) are okay.

6 Name: Lonely-chan : 2008-06-22 18:33 ID:tFzOUkrg

The best idea is to be there for her, but not becoming a doormat. You want her to actualize her inner passion for you without becoming the rebound Anonette mentioned.

If I were you I would give her a little time (a few more days) then take her out to a movie and dinner night as friends to gauge if this was something I really wanted, or something I wanted because I can't have it but it's more likely than before.

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-22 18:44 ID:73iXTYEV

> "be there for her"

I hear this a lot, but when it comes to a woman's relationship with other guys, this statement annoys me. If she tries to talk about that other guy, change the subject or leave.

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8 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-22 22:26 ID:Z5Au438O

It doesn't mean let her BAAWWW all over your shoulder talking trash about her ex, but that she needs some support and you should give her some lest she feel alienated and bitter.

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9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-23 03:54 ID:73iXTYEV

Okay, but what does "giving support" mean?

I'm sure she has girlfriends she can complain about her ex-boyfriend to. Complaining to a man about your former man is both insulting and incredibly selfish. It doesn't take a genius to figure this out.

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10 Name: OP!!UrwAkvFK : 2008-06-23 11:57 ID:vFEVmkeg

op here.

im taking her to a movie in a few days. i got a free ticket from work so im gonna use that. should i try anything in the movie or before/after it?

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11 Name: 9 : 2008-06-23 15:45 ID:73iXTYEV

> should i try anything in the movie or before/after it?

Find a decent cafe (beforehand) nearby to cool off after the movie. It gives the two of you some time to pay each other attention.

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12 Name: OP!!UrwAkvFK : 2008-06-24 07:06 ID:vFEVmkeg


turns out, shes coming over tonight to watch some movies. this is happening in about 4 and a half hours. just me and her. i wanna flirt with her but i dont really know how..

13 Name: Anonette : 2008-06-24 12:30 ID:Z5Au438O


Good luck OP, tell us how it turns out.

14 Name: OP!!UrwAkvFK : 2008-06-25 03:26 ID:vFEVmkeg

it started off fairly well. she wanted to play my ds so i showed her that, then we got some food and watched a movie. after the movie the her boyfriend (now ex boyfriend) txted her and was like "where are you".. i dont think ive said it yet and i think this might be extremely important now: her xbf apparently thinks that im the reason why she broke up with him. we didnt know what to say to the txt because she didnt want to make him jealous or upset any more than he is; so we ignored it. 5 mins later he started calling her. same deal; we just ignored the calls. however, when he called consecutively for the 5th time she said fuck it i'll just answer it.

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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-25 04:10 ID:xBMBIF47

KISS HER!!!!!!!@ the next moviedate, just fucking do it will ya.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-25 05:00 ID:Heaven

NOOOO. DO NOT look into finding a girl until you are sure that there is nothing. Are you sure that she's picking up on the hints? Also, most girls aren't "completely over him" for a while after the relationship ends, or so I've heard. Need more female input. Keep the updates coming, hear?

17 Name: OP!!UrwAkvFK : 2008-06-27 17:24 ID:vFEVmkeg

>>15 well, this worked; enough said. thanks guys, im so happy right now.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-06-27 18:08 ID:PZ+M3VpC

If a girl thinks you're cute but gay, you FAIL because she thinks you don't like women. In fact, that's my anti-pussy. If a girl is annoying the shit out of me, I start talking about cute guys. ;)

So yeah, if you really do like women but you look a little too GQ, be sure to let them know you like them.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-27 14:24 ID:b131Z2SL

5 months on and we are going strong. thanks guys

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-30 08:29 ID:v5t8/4hL