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Operation Get Back with Ex (33)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-14 15:54 ID:SCHhvh4C

alright guys and's the deal. i want to get back with my ex and i need all the help i can get.

long story short. we broke up about 4 months ago. then she went abroad to further her studies. but now something's cropped up on her side and she'll be coming back to our homeland for university. reasons we broke up included me being an ass about her going overseas, several disagreements where we did not see eye to eye and made her feel we weren't compatible in the long run.i was also an insecure pussy at times with me being stuck in a conscript army and all. when it ended she said she doesn't rule out the possibility of us getting back together again after a certain amount of time...but during this period when she's been overseas she's been having the time of her life. and i can safely say that i was probably one of the last things on her mind. we haven't been communicating much...just the rare email on occasion.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-14 20:02 ID:2Rj18zeT

get over it. she clearly moved on and so should you.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-14 22:57 ID:8WZUzUPx

Try to remember what made her like you in the first place before you screwed up, and ramp it up all over again from there, clearly showing you grew some balls.

Might not work but it's either that or >>2... your call.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-15 01:39 ID:1jUjHSPV

As a fellow traveler, I think you shouldn't try to hold her back from seeing the world. You know, she might be meant for something more then just being with you. I'm sorry but I find it hard to support someone whose selfish enough to hold someone back from living a full life.

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-15 13:34 ID:NQHkqHHb


god i didn't say i was going to stop her. she's coming back because of personal and family reasons.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-15 13:39 ID:pqQtMgXU


oh and yes i admit i was against her leaving in the past but that was then. the reason i was an ass because i had done some research and i knew she would face some difficulties with regards to studying overseas.

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-15 13:43 ID:GUYqhYP2


oh yeah and one more're assuming i'm trying to fake it. i'm not stupid enough to want to get back with her if i know that the old problem is still here with me cos it'll just end in tears again anyway. so yes i have thought through things clearly and have seen the folly of my ways so to speak. you might think this is just BS but i've said my piece.

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8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-15 23:17 ID:dfRiBXCW

I see. Well the best bet is just to talk to her and ask what she thinks of you two getting back together again.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-16 00:49 ID:g0GIgyYw

Why not just take it slowly and spend some time together as friends first?

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-16 23:16 ID:WrHCzrlE

No, that won't work. There really isn't any need for that since they already dated before. It would be better to get straight to the point or he'll end up in the "friend zone"

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-16 23:16 ID:WrHCzrlE

No, that won't work. There really isn't any need for that since they already dated before. It would be better to get straight to the point or he'll end up in the "friend zone"

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-16 23:16 ID:WrHCzrlE

No, that won't work. There really isn't any need for that since they already dated before. It would be better to get straight to the point or he'll end up in the "friend zone"

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-17 15:12 ID:vh3e/zBv


i feel you. this is where i find its tricky.

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14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-17 23:25 ID:BqmU2vKC

make it obvious. I say tell her how you were wrong before and ask what she thinks if giving it another shot.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-20 09:57 ID:bR7Q8g/J

OP here.

havent' been seeing her online much due to time zone differentials.

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16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-21 23:59 ID:btGOuzb8

Hmm... that last post changes everything in my opinion. If you guys are on those kind of terms in communication, she may have moved on.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-22 01:19 ID:vh3e/zBv


OP here. yeah she probably has. i mean...the situation was that the relationship had degenerated into a pretty dead end one just before she left...and then we broke up. she left and had the time of her life living overseas etc. etc....i think its safe to assume she's been having so much of a great time over there she's moved on.

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18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-22 11:42 ID:Fykexaz5

Whatever you do, she must think that you too had a great time here without her. She must not start thinking you've been obsessing about her and that your life kind of "stopped" while she was away. You must look strong and independant.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-22 12:33 ID:ShaeRRR7

OP here. thanks.

how do i show that without coming across as too 'try hard'..?

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20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-22 20:28 ID:Ix4bgMBW

Get a tan, haircut, whiten your teeth slightly, shave, generally clean yourself up.

My advice is to ignore her when she gets home, just go about your normal business, meet with your friends, pursue your hobbies and personal interests, maybe go for your own brief trip. Where are you from, precisely? If you're European you could book a short trainride somewhere nice in your local area, take plenty of photos, and put them in an obvious place so when she comes over she will make a note of them.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-23 04:10 ID:NQHkqHHb

Okay ytd night i left another msg on msn...basically we were fluff talking for 1-2 lines the night before and i linked to the topic and basically agreed that the break up 4 mths ago was the best thing for both of us. hopefully that will lower down her 'desperation' shield.

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22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-23 04:29 ID:ShaeRRR7

OP again. >>21 was me as well btw.

damn i hope i didn't screw things up with agreeing about the breakup. no reply from her yet. i think she's back home already but she should still be asleep...

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-23 05:45 ID:6kKvJvVo

I was about to say... HOW COULD YOU AGREE WITH THE BREAK UP?! But the worst thing is that it was something to agree about... meaning she feels it was the best thing.

I think you just lost all chances if she told you she truly believed it was the best thing. And if you turn around and ask her out, she'll know you lied about the agreement. It doesn't look good, sorry...

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-23 05:58 ID:NQHkqHHb


its counter intuitive but apparently it helps...judging from many sources. supposedly it should lower her guard and show her i'm moving on. so that if i ask her to hang out it'll be harmless and we can have fun 'afresh'...

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25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-23 06:10 ID:qqNRLTfP

OP here again. >>24 was me too.

anyway i think she should've seen the IM by now since i have good reason to believe she's been online. but she hasn't replied!!!

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26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-23 13:22 ID:vh3e/zBv

OP here.

Okay she's replied.

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27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-23 18:42 ID:Ix4bgMBW

Southeast asia, huh? Which nation do you serve?

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-23 21:10 ID:WYTw2S9k


It doesn't look good! If you ask her to hang out it will be as "friends"

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29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-24 01:48 ID:828MnyWa

How long were you guys even going out in the first place, btw?

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-24 03:11 ID:DJtAkd90

Conscripted...sounds like Singapore to me....

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-24 15:00 ID:SCHhvh4C

haha lets not get off topic...


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32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-25 03:10 ID:AjoceiO3

She might now even care about seeing the new you?
I dunno...

33 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-07-27 09:14 ID:PaXDkDDr

OP here...gosh she really misses the life back there.

how can i compete against another country...