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What's in a hug? (81)


31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-04 07:44 ID:dF3CbfVJ

He hugged me again!!~! After a three-day weekend of being together for most of it, he hugged me again!! I'm both happy and worried. But I hope I'm just paranoid.

The shelter thing didn't work out; more volunteers showed up and he actually spent more time talking to a different woman than he did to me. They had never met before, and as soon as she started talking to him, her hands were on him. Right on his arm, again and again. I realized I was very jealous. It just doesn't seem natural to reach out and touch someone during a conversation. But this woman did it over and over again. And she didn't even know him! And as we left she said, "Well, glad to have met you. Maybe some night when I'm working here alone you could come and help me out." GRRRR. As his friend I have no right to get jealous or upset. But if I make a move soon, then I have every right to slash her tires the next time we meet. I've definitely got incentive to keep moving forward.

After that we took our routine walk together. We walked for hours and talked the whole time. He suggested we check out the video store. He rented a movie he had been wanting to see and invited me to watch it with him the next day. We normally watch movies together in the afternoon, but he suggested we meet later than usual, take our walk, have diner together, and then watch the film. It almost sounded like he had a plan. We walked some more and then he suggested we go to his house and sit on the porch and talk. Lightheaded I said, "oh.....kay..." and it must have sounded like I was upset because he immediately said, "Err, or I could just walk you home." We've never just sat on his porch and talked before, I thought maybe it was part of the "plan," and I really wanted to. But I ruined it. As we walked farther, he suggested we stop in an all-night dinner for a quick bite to eat. We had already eaten and not that long ago. I enthusiastically agreed. That went well; we split an appetizer and even though it had been my turn to pay for diner that night, he insisted on paying that bill. He insists on paying for whatever we're doing an awful lot, but I don't feel comfortable not paying for any less than half. I'm flattered, but I never want him to feel like I'm using him nor do I want him to get burnt out or go broke.

We walked a bit more after that and then he walked me home. We used to meet and split up at a halfway point, there was a mugging in town a few weeks ago and now he insists in meeting me at my apartment and walking me all the way to my door when we part. It's only about a four minute walk from his place to mine, but I feel guilty about that and thank him every time. Before we parted I told him "I always enjoy going to the shelter with you. And not just for the cats, either." His face seemed to soften in the dim light and he nodded. We said good bye, he left and called me when he got home as I requested to make certain he made it safely. We ended up talking another half hour before finally letting each other go.