[continued from above]
Sunday was the day of the walk/dinner/movie, but his second job writing for a local paper interfered and he couldn't leave his house before getting a phone call. I met him at his house at 5PM and we started the movie. The movie finished and still no call. So, we remained on separate ends of the couch and watched television together for the first time. It was just Fox News' hurricane Gustave coverage, but it was a new activity. Time passed and we were both hungry, so we called a place for a pick up order and I volunteered to get it. But by the time it was ready to be picked up, it was after dark and he insisted on going instead. He assured me it was no problem and asked me to tend to the phone if it should ring. While he was gone I was slightly tempted to poke around the house and just look at stuff; I've only been inside of it a handful of times and I've never seen his bedroom. But I stayed on the couch next to the phone only getting up to use the restroom once. I sort of feel like I passed up an opportunity to "find something," but it would have felt wrong.
He returned and set up his living room so we could eat in it together and we did. He was so comfortable that he slouched on the couch with his feet resting on his coffee table, and his shirt was pushed up just a little bit at the left side of his torso just above his pants. Often when he's speaking to me and making eye contact he'll stroke his left arm with his right hand; I've always taken it as a sign that he's nervous. He did that a bunch as we sat on the couch, and his left sleeve got pushed up and stayed up. The exposure of these small, pale patches of skin I've never seen before was somehow endearing. We watched a bit more TV and when 10:30PM rolled around, he gave up on the phone call and we started our walk. It lasted about 2 hours, and when we were saying our good byes outside my door, we made corny jokes and prattled about what a good day we had as usual, and then at the end, we just stood there, staring at each other. Just standing, only feet apart, making straight on eye contact, not speaking at all. It must have lasted only seconds, but it seemed to go on forever. As we continued staring, I suddenly got light headed, and I felt the sensation travel from my head all the way down my body to my feet and it felt like it passed out of me and into the ground. It was so weird. It was almost like and out-of-body-experience. I didn't know what to do, my brain couldn't form words and honestly, I didn't want it to end. I was frozen. What the Hell was happening? We've never just stared into each other's eyes like that before. He's caught me staring at him sitting at a table together before, but one of us usually just smiles and breaks contact. The contact just wouldn't cease this time, and at the moment that feeling surged through me, I think I thought we were going to kiss. Something was going to happen, and that shockwave was both a feeling of anticipation and panic.
But he broke eye contact looking down and then saying good bye. I acted normal as well and we parted. Our phone conversation was brief and we made plans to meet again Monday.
Monday I vowed I would hug him. As we walked together, I kept telling myself I would, no matter what. "I'm going to hug you," I kept thinking while looking at him. "I will hug you," and then I'd turn red and try to hide it. We walked about two hours again and opted not to eat anywhere. It was terribly hot and humid outside, so we dove into the grocery store for a few moments to cool off and because he had a few things he wanted to pick up. When we exited, it was after dark. "Hug you, hug you, hug you, hug you!!"