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What's in a hug? (81)


39 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-06 07:21 ID:dF3CbfVJ

He hugged me again tonight! This time it was a one-armed hug around a shoulder, but he initiated it and actually went out of his way to do it.

I had been planning to leave town for the weekend tonight after I got off of work but plans changed and I'm not able to leave until tomorrow morning. I called him last night after work, and at the exact same time I called him, he called me!! Our phone calls crashed into eachother and we both got eachother's answering machine at the same moment! Talk about synchronicity. I asked him if he wanted to walk Friday night (tonight) and he agreed, even suggesting we stop in that all-night diner again.

As both a token of gratitude for voluntarily doing so much for me lately (walking me home, insisting on paying tabs out of turn, having me over to his home for movies, etc.) and as a sort of memento to make him think of me over the weekend while we would be separated, I stayed up until 3AM last night baking him a special casserole. The casserole is special because the recipe I used was his mother's-- his mother passed away just three years ago and he was inseparably close with her. His father passed away over a decade ago and his only sibling passed away about a year and a half ago. Several months ago he loaned me a collection of his mother's recipes and I carefully logged them into text documents and returned them. I've baked him desserts from that collection twice; once when he seemed sort of depressed and once close to the anniversary of his mother's passing. I gave him the casserole today at the shift change at work, and tonight he said he enjoyed it a great deal. I love to cook but I'm honestly not very good at it. I made him orange oatmeal cookies when he was sick a few weeks ago to give him a boost of vitamin C, and they turned out pretty terrible; way too bitter. But he assured me they were awesome and said he ate every one. That had to be a lie, but he lied to make me feel good, so there are definitely no hard feelings.

Anyway, we decided against going to the diner because it was very late and we were both admittedly tired. We walked for about and hour and a half and then we were off to my door. We chatted and made jokes as usual, and I decided not to go for a hug this time because I didn't want to make him feel awkward. I decided it would be too soon and that maybe I could shoot for a week from tonight or so. Pretty much wussing out again, but with good reason. So, as we started to say our final good byes, I turned toward my steps to ascend, and as I moved he said, "Here--" and moved toward me. I turned toward him and he put his left arm around my right side. And just like that I was a jellyfish again. Haaaaaaaaahhhh--

I was a bit startled and said, "Ah-oh!" My right arm was pinned to my side by his arm/body, so I put my left arm around his right shoulder and across his back. Strangely, I involuntarily boosted myself up on my tippy toes again. I think I'm trying to push myself into him without realizing it. I held onto him for a few seconds and then squeezed hard again and quietly said, "thank you." I wanted to bury my face in him, but didn't. I also had an impulse to kiss him lightly on the cheek as he drew away, but I kept myself from doing so. That scared me; what if I hadn't caught myself? Agh. But, maybe someday. Soon, I hope. But not too soon.