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What's in a hug? (81)

40 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-06 07:22 ID:dF3CbfVJ

[continued from above]

The hug was pretty awkward; he was touching me about as little as he possibly could and it lasted but seconds. When I put my arm around him and squeezed, I really pulled myself into him, but he didn't react. It all happens so quick and I get so lightheaded and disoriented. And my face flushes red every time. We said good night and I got back into my apartment, fumbling the key pretty badly before finally getting it in and turning it. When I closed the door behind me, I just leaned against it and had to catch my breath. I stayed like that for a while, collecting myself, and then he called me to assure me he made it home safe. A normal, relaxed conversation ensued, and then the final good nights.

He asked me if I wanted him to call me when he got home before he hugged me, and when I said I did, he said, "Okay" as though he were disapointed. Maybe he wants to "do more" but would find it awkward to have to call me just after? Not having to call would make the transition smoother and less awkward, perhaps. That's just a baseless thought, though.

Anyway, I hope this hugging continues and becomes a regular thing. Wonderful as it is, though, I really can't base much on it. As far as I know, we're still just friends and these hugs are but friendly displays of affection. But it's not something we've always done. Haaaargh.

I guess it will be another week before I get a chance to do anything. Let the countdown begin.