I'm going to freaking do it this weekend. I'm going to initiate a hug. When I report back here, it will only be after I have hugged him on my own accord. Imagining where to put my hands and arms is causing me to fret. Would around the waist or ribcage be too personal? Around the arms or shoulders too impersonal? Around the neck too awkward? I've never given so much thought to hugging in my life. It's not supposed to be a a calculated science, just a natural reaction! Hug him and hold him for several seconds and then pull away and make and maintain eye contact. Aghhh, just imagining doing that causes my face to flush red, my stomach to go light and my head to feel faint.
There have been a few times while walking together that I've had a bottle of water to drink off of and he hasn't. I've told him that I don't mind sharing germs and if didn't mind, he was welcomed to drink from it as well. He's always thanked me, but never taken me up on it. And when it's been the other way around, he's never offered me a drink off of his container. We almost shared a straw once testing a drink, but he changed his mind at the last moment and used his own. Every time I've offered him food off of my plate while eating together he has turned me down as if that were an unthinkable thing to do. I think I've made it clear that I'm totally open to sharing mouth-germs, but he doesn't seem to be so keen on the idea himself and I think I'll wait on the kissing him on the cheek thing. And besides, if I'm freaking out over hugging him, I really doubt I could make myself do that at this point anyway.
So, I guess right now I'm paranoid to an extreme degree and am praying this weekend will not feel awkward. And I'm going to do it, damnit! This weekend! Raaaah!! I hope.
Out of curiosity, what qualities that you have detected through my writing and relation of my situation have you found admirable? What about "me" makes me dream girl material in your opinion?