[continued from above]
Before our walk finished, he offered to take me out to any restaurant of my choice in honor of my birthday, which is this Sunday, since I wouldn't have another opportunity to see him again until after it's over.
So, the next day was like any other weekend day together; we ate and talked and talked and talked and talked and then we walked and talked and walked and talked, and then it was goodnight. And hug time!
He's still hugging me as one would hug a leper if one had to hug a leper. Just lightly putting his arms around my shoulders and not really getting very close. I try to compensate by wrapping my arms around him just below his underarms, and squeezing tightly while lightly pressing against him with my body. Every time we hug, I get light headed and dizzy and it's really hard to think what I'm doing through and my memory of the hug ends up blurred. I don't snap out of it until I'm half way up my stairs and he's waving good bye and saying something that I have to ask him to repeat.
And I'm ashamed to admit that both of our last two hugs were initiated by him. However, he's hugged me every time we've parted now since the first time he did it (save for the car drop offs), so my doubts over whether or not he actually wants to hug me or not have lessened, but until he at least squeezes back, they won't be put completely to rest. We have plans to do things together over the first three weekends of October, and that will give me three to six more hugs and chances to initiate one and hope that he gets dizzy as a result. I won't be around this weekend so it's out, but October is pregnant with possibilities.
The fact that we're hugging every time we part now is an incredibly good thing. It's becoming a normal thing to do, and with time, it should feel absolutely natural and may open the door to other physical expressions of affection like sitting closer to one another on his couch instead of sitting a whole cushion apart, or holding hands, or holding each other, or, or, or-- turning really red when just typing about stuff like that. -_-;
I just finished baking a couple dozen peanut butter cookies. Peanut butter is one of his favorite foods and I'm planning to leave a box of cookies in his mailbox as a surprise before I leave Saturday afternoon. I'll include a note wishing him a good weekend and tell him I'm looking forward to seeing him again soon. I shaped one of the cookies like a cat's head and carved a little face on it with a toothpick before it cooled and hardened, and it actually came out pretty cute. That will be on top so it's the very first cookie he sees. ^_^