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Women advice for a Gentleman with no spine (22)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-30 03:59 ID:blYRF+52

I am 19 years old and never had a girlfriend before. I was raised with old fashioned manners, so I have the whole chivalrous, gallant, gentleman thing going that people tend to love to use and then toss aside when done with them. I have blindly followed some girls for the sole reason that they paid attention to me, but realized that was a bad move on my part and stopped letting myself be used about 2 years ago.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-30 04:21 ID:yEm1/HOI

You're a little young still. As for the girl, ask her out, if she says no what have you lost? If she says yes, what have you gained? I know you're afraid but when you realize you have everything to gain and nothing to lose you'll be better off.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-30 04:22 ID:OZMSE8HI

I'd say try and ask her out.
I mean, since you can recognize if you're being used or not now, all you have to do is cut it off if she ends up being that type of person.
If you're misreading her, then she says no and that's the end.

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4 Name: Akina : 2008-08-30 04:53 ID:LJ/mV/nX

She might just be seeking a friend or somebody to listen to her. I too was raised like you. I have met a girl whom I had feelings for and told me about her boyfriend(s) breaking up etc. She might be opening up to you because she trusts you. You might be 'that guy' that no male wants to be when concerning the one they like.

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-30 06:05 ID:JtDzIiGH

I don't know if we can call you a gentleman, because gentlemen do get girls. I feel like the best we can call you is the 'nice guy' but we can fix that easily.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-30 15:48 ID:blYRF+52

Ok number 5 let's hear your advice now then :) I'd like all I can get

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-31 01:42 ID:DlA4MZAU

I'm not >>5, but the beeeeeest answer I can give you is one tested and validated by myself. Don't be nice all the time, freely - this makes you a "servant" kind of guy: you're there for her, period. If she feels like tossing you a cheetos because you've been a nice puppy she might do it but don't expect much more.

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8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-31 16:48 ID:1QUU8RdG

>>4 is right
Take her to Chipotle.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-31 17:14 ID:JMbGmAsO

Dear OP: I understand how you feel about being a "gentleman" but the fact is, "old fashioned" raising wasn't about kissing women's asses. It was about respecting them and their needs and opinions but not asking for their approval at every turn.

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10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-31 21:36 ID:ShkT65c2


I don't think it's that easy to change your attitude

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-31 22:15 ID:f59OD1sk

If you think about it, >>9 never said it was easy. But that does not mean he's not right. Because he actually is.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-31 22:23 ID:ShkT65c2

10 here...
Yeah you're right.
I have this problem, i can't take attitude towards girls.. That's why i considered 9 not being easy, maybe for others it is.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-31 22:33 ID:E5qR/Aia

Girls don't twirl their hair around guys they don't like.

Take her to Chipotle, but NOT the way 9 suggests. It kind of hurts her pride. If she does end up treating you like a "servant", next time make sure you turn her down.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-08-31 23:35 ID:blYRF+52

OP here:

Well I don't know how nervous I will be or how it is gonna work out, but I am just gonna ask her straight out if she would like to go to Chipotle's with me tommorrow. And try to follow some of what Number 7 said, as it sounds like the best thing to me so far.

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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-01 01:58 ID:Tux/RD8E

I just love girl who twirl their hair.

My girlfriend's bff does it all the time while around me, does it mean she craves me?

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-01 11:53 ID:Heaven


Maybe she craves your girlfriend.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-01 20:26 ID:Heaven

>>16 ahahaha

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-02 08:21 ID:XsBcSPz5

Dear op.

"Chipotle burrito bar" is a well known euphemism for a woman's vagina.

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-04 06:30 ID:Heaven


apparently not well known enough...

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-05 12:30 ID:nrZVnbW0

errrrrrrrr, you are "that guy!" congratulations, you have entered the "just friends" zone!

good luck anyway though.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-09-08 19:29 ID:blYRF+52

OP Here:

So yea thanks for all the responses, but yea I have been friendzoned by her. Instead of letting this die though. How about you people give me some advice on how to avoid this in future situations? Kk thanks.

22 Name: Azriel : 2008-09-08 19:54 ID:23NQyv+b

 The friend zone is a surprise; you can't see it coming and you can't prevent.  It sucks and it's a real killjoy, especially when every attempt you make ends up in the friend zone!! ><  If you figure out how to get out, post it...I'm getting irritated with working hard for something and getting zilch in return.