it's been 6 months since my ex-boyfriend and i went our separate ways, we called it a mutual breakup, but in reality.. i handed him over to another girl, and he broke my heart.
extremely long story short:
So anyways i went to university away from home, but he stayed. It was a long distance relationship. At first it was fine, he was the support that i needed mentally to survive living on my own for the first time. But as time went on, i got frustrated with him easily and well ya, simply put, i took him for granted even though he's really sweet and really cared about me. He always told me he missed me and even sent me flowers on my birthday when i couldnt make it home.
Wtf right? Well i did that because i knew he was the type that would be worried i'd be pissed off if he asked her out right after, i knew he needed closure to have the guts to do it. Wasn't that REALLY STUPID of me? i just thought.. "if you really love someone, you'll be happy as long as he's happy" silly silly me. Now those two are really happy together, he finally asked her out and well, we havent spoken since. I know this is pointless but i miss him so much. it just feels like i lost the best thing thats ever happened to me, and its all my fault. i miss him, i miss him so much but most of all i hate myself because even to the very end.. i never got to tell him that i love him.
this is my first time on this website.. i just realized that even though it doesn't show the whole message on the front page, the entire thread does... i'm sorry about the many posts, i really feel like an idiot now. and i just read the beginning.. when i said we finally 'did it' i meant we finally got back together.. again sorry, i'm a huge idiot.
We are all huge idiots.
I reckon you should talk to him just to let him know what you feel. Even though it seems you wont get anything out of it It'll help you with the burden. You don't need to talk to him, just send an e-mail or a letter.
6 months since? that's a long time. If he was so important to you, just make small talk with him for now.
If he and his girlfriend don't work out then try to be friends with him, who knows. maybe it'll work out for the two of you again. At least you know how important he is to you know.
how important he is to you now*
sorry, it's midnight and i can barely read what i type.
Reiteration: We are all idiots.
But don't hate yourself for it. It's good that you recognized your mistakes; even though the relationship didn't go the way you wanted, you still learned a lot about yourself. As long as you acknowledge this, you'll be able to grow.
Sounds like you're a hard nut to crack. He gave up.
The key to getting a guy is to flirt with him, but ONLY with him. Lot of sociable girls make the mistake of flirting with every guy which backfires.
thank you all for reading this and thank you more for replying with such thoughtfulness, it really put a smile on my face
I really have considered talking to him again, that is, i really really want to.. but the thing is, after we broke up, I deleted him from msn because i knew i wouldn't be able to handle it if i saw his nicknames saying "i love you" or "i miss you" to her.. so if i wanted to talk to him again, i'd have to add him and he'd know that i deleted him in the first place which really wouldn't help out much of the awkwardness
p.s. as for the dermatologist advice, since i got together with him the second time i've been working really hard to improve my face for him, and even though it's not completely spot-free, i'm still pretty confident with my face now :) in a way being with him was bad because it made me so much more self-concious, but he made me improve myself a lot too
i overlooked this thread a few times cause i didnt like the title. fairly entertaining thread.
just a couple of points. if he really means a lot to you, stay in touch. but by stay in touch i mean, a semi-regular email and a very rare phonecall. semi-regular IM's would be okay, but you mentioned you dont even want to talk to him on msn, which is fine and good imo. the last thing you want is to appear desperate in any way. but if you want to keep your options open, its important to check up once every few months or so.
i want to talk to him again, as a friend, more so now than anything after hearing all your opinions on this. But there's another x-factor to this story that worries me from doing so.
His current girlfriend was from our highschool until she moved away, so a lot of the people i know, she knows. I'm afraid that if i do send him an email, she'd see it or he'd tell her about it (because he's just that honest) and she'd freak out. She might think that i was trying to steal him back, which i'd completely understand, but would result in our friends hearing her version of the story, not to mention frekaing and pushing him even further away. We're not in elementary school anymore, but this kind of stuff still spreads, and i only need one headache at a time.