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Long distance relationships suck. (20)

1 Name: Desu : 2008-10-05 03:58 ID:L2pB1Syi

So my boyfriend and I have been going out for two years, he's a sophomore in college, and I'm a senior in high school. He goes to college 4 hours away and I see him maybe once a month. Last year was better because we actually talked on the phone and he didn't have as much homework. This year, we barely talk and he has so much homework he hasn't made an effort to see my yet. You might tell me to go visit him, but this won't work because a) I'm not allowed to drive that far, b) even if I could, I wouldn't be allowed to stay with him, c) I'm not going there with my dad (he's a thread all his own), and d) my mom works and she doesn't like traveling too often.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-05 08:03 ID:O0TOztBZ

Your main problem seems to be that transport takes a long time because America is big.

Kill yourself and you shall be reborn on Taiwan.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-05 08:15 ID:nmcxLmRx

Long distance relationships fail. I had one once, lasted about 6 months, then had another, lasted about 7. Each ended the same way, people move on without you. All the promises you receive are worth nothing once he finds someone else.

4 Name: Desu : 2008-10-05 16:25 ID:L2pB1Syi

It's not that either of us have found someone else. I think we're both just a bit frustrated with the distance. At least I hope he hasn't.

5 Name: been there : 2008-10-05 17:22 ID:B0s8Lngx

same situation, except me (the girl) is the one who went off to university 4 hours away.

honestly, when people first told me that long distance relationships don't work, I thought to myself "well it WILL work with him" but truth is.. the distance thing gets even worst after that.. and eventually one of you will come across someone who's really nice, makes you laugh.. and is less than a half hours drive away. part of a relationship, shallow as it may be, is wanting to have someone to hold on to, possess if you will.

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6 Name: Desu : 2008-10-06 01:22 ID:L2pB1Syi

I thought it would work too, but I'm so tired of not having to hold me when I'm down... I'm just scared of how conflicted I'll be when someone comes along that I could see myself with.

7 Name: been there : 2008-10-06 21:39 ID:B0s8Lngx

I think really thats the big thing about long distance relationships, if you're someone who's needy (or really, just someone who likes cuddle etc) then it's really not the type of relationship for you.

Desu, so far it doesn't seem like you guys are anywhere near a breakdown.. and there's really no one else at the moment that's caught your attention right? I say, stay with him. There's really no actual reason to break it off is there? Either that or maybe its time for you guys to try going on a break, give a little breathing room to each other and maybe realize how much you mean to one another

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8 Name: Desu : 2008-10-06 23:11 ID:L2pB1Syi

Yeah, that's probably the plan. It's just that there's those moments of doubt when I worry about, oh, everything. Especially my relationship with him. Just to put stuff in perspective: I am moderately depressed, so I really get moments of doubt.

9 Name: Desu : 2008-10-07 03:39 ID:L2pB1Syi

Thanks for the support everyone. :] It was just a moment of doubt, which always seems worse when it's long distance. But a mutual friend just told me that we were too similar (or scary) for our own good. So I'm confident again. :]

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-08 06:30 ID:VnDBaUxw

Long distance relationships can work, I was in a LDR for 10 years before marrying. But they don't necessarily work for everybody.

A crucial point for a healthy LDR is that you must have regular (even if brief) phone contacts, and always have some project to look forward to (week end trip, holiday, etc).

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11 Name: seen it happen : 2008-10-08 14:45 ID:pcy7WNiT

amor de lejos, amor de pendejos


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12 Name: Desu : 2008-10-08 22:33 ID:L2pB1Syi

@ 10: Holy shit, 10 years?! God, 6 is going to kill me, if you still count ~45 minutes as "long distance."

And the "something to look forward to" idea makes sense. A lot of the time, I don't know when the next time I'll see him is.

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13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-08 22:55 ID:VnDBaUxw

>> 12

Well, for me it was 6h. 45 min does not strike me as a terrible long distance, many people commute daily far more than that,...

14 Name: Desu : 2008-10-09 02:26 ID:L2pB1Syi

Right now it's 3-4 hours. But even with 45 minutes you have to remember that we'll both be in college then and have homework and stuff.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-09 07:27 ID:8Afd6jdr

Wow >>10-san, that's amazing. How was the whole experience for you? Is your relationship with your partner even stronger now that you both had endured that much time for each other?

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-09 09:00 ID:rPTkBWHj


>How was the whole experience for you?
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17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-09 09:02 ID:rPTkBWHj

>Is your relationship with your partner even stronger now that you both had endured that much time for each other?

Certainly. After all we went through and the commitment displayed by both of us, we both have a lot of confidence in our relationship, even though you must never become complacent.

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18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-17 01:51 ID:bEaMCNgO


19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-17 01:53 ID:bEaMCNgO

let me rephrase that. He lives four (4) hours away and hasn't made an effort to see you yet, and you talk rarely. The likelehood of you falling apart is apparent, though I do hope the best for you two.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-27 01:31 ID:lzxRhMJK

oh i have something to say on this topic but it's far too late and complicated and argh fuck it. distance sucks. 4 hours, christ, at least you're on the same continent. you can get a train! i'm five thousand miles away from the person i want to spend my life with.