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lame guy need help.. (36)

1 Name: lam-o : 2008-10-18 14:23 ID:A6fIzl22

it's all started like several years ago. i met a very gorgeous girl. everyweek after that, i had the chance to meet her. (literally once a week, so 52x per year, for only 2 hours at most)

well, i immediately fell for her, but unable to do anything but only to see her. the reason is, she is always with her family when i meet her. i cann't just barge in and say "hi, may i know you?".

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2 Name: lam-o : 2008-10-18 14:26 ID:A6fIzl22

sorry if the post is too long, i am new guy here.. (well to be truth to u guys, i have just watched densha otoko, that i found place like this)

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-18 16:34 ID:bKXRMh8N

First of all, you obsessed over a girl that you never knew for years? Wow.

Just ask her out to a date or something.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-18 20:58 ID:cS6ClFxB

This looks promising, more than I would have thought at first sight,... She seems receptive, so why don't you have some mail exchanges before trying to have her on the phone or meet her?

If you checked her site you may know of some interests, discuss them and ask for more info about her. Do take care to provide some info about yourself, it's important that she starts to know who you are.

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5 Name: lam-o : 2008-10-19 04:22 ID:DDILNQ6d

well, you may called me obsessive lol, it took me 6 years to completely forget a girl that i like before her.

for checking her site, it is my daily routine, so no worry about that :D i have asked for her msn, but she rarely gets online. (or she does, but appear offline, maybe, i deduct this because she has a lot of emoticons)

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6 Name: buzzbros2002 : 2008-10-19 09:05 ID:SgeYw+dl

Well, first if i was you i'd start sending her a few messages, just making small talk. Then hang out with her a bit and see how the chemistry works. good luck!

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-19 10:57 ID:Heaven

I still have a crush on a girl who I met when I was 16 (I'm now 30) and I haven't seen her since then. So rest assured, 6 years is nothing.

To complete this flawless "victory", let me also note that this is after calling her and finally confessing at the 7 year mark, and her claiming during that phone call to have found someone to marry. It didn't stop me, it just made it hurt more. I'm not saying I didn't love others in the time after, but I would definitely crawl over hot coals to see her again, if it were only that easy.

8 Name: lam-o : 2008-10-19 13:13 ID:gEOY+Z3X


ah..that's actually what scares me too.
all of this is started as i cann't hold it anymore, that's why i sent her the message.

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9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-19 13:31 ID:cS6ClFxB

Seems to me you are using distractions (worrying about the website, competitors, etc) to avoid facing the hard stuff, which is to get to know her.

Worrying about competitors is stupid, because 1) there will always be competitors, you're not the only man on Earth 2) what matters is the state of your relationship with her, not how your competitors are doing.

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10 Name: lam-o : 2008-10-19 15:58 ID:gEOY+Z3X

i guess i am really lame..

straightforward stuff ain't gonna work here. i am a 100% stranger to her. meeting her directly will also be no good(although i know where she lives and where her school at)

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11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-19 17:47 ID:bKXRMh8N

Try to use your stalking habits to find her favorite hobby. Then try to talk to her in relation to it, maybe she'll actually talk to you then.

Oh, and make sure you DO NOT show any signs of obsession/desperation. In fact, try to show yourself as apathetic to her so you don't push her away. In other words, pretend you don't like her when you talk to her or she'll grow distant to you since she doesn't know you.

12 Name: buzzbros2002 : 2008-10-19 19:23 ID:SgeYw+dl

I agree, it would diffinately be a good idea to try to find some of her hobbies. But you must remember also to actually know something about it. This doesn't mean to get all technical about it from the start, but just in case she does you have something to fall back on information wise.

13 Name: lam-o : 2008-10-20 01:25 ID:YqA0rLS3

thanks guys..

i think i made that mistake yesterday. i talked to her about a movie, which actually she didn't like (then she went off/appear off)

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14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-20 02:05 ID:fqd1wTdB

Isn't this self-torture. If you met in real life, you could know if she is interested (eye contact), she won't be busy with other things because she is exclusively meeting you, and if she wants to suddenly go off you can grab her hand.

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15 Name: buzzbros2002 : 2008-10-20 02:20 ID:SgeYw+dl

Personally, i say do your best to talk to her face to face asap. or at least on the phone.

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-20 04:41 ID:bKXRMh8N


Both speak the truth.

17 Name: lam-o : 2008-10-20 09:34 ID:yCtGXmS8

.... not that easy....
well if this is not torturing, i won't write in here..
i mean if i ask her to meet with me personally, it will be 1000000% guaranteed rejection. I am a complete stranger, who want to meet with a complete stranger? then again, does she have any reason to meet me?

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18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-20 12:07 ID:cS6ClFxB

>about meeting her in real life, as i has explained before, every time i meet her, she is with her family.

Engineer your opportunity of meeting her without her family. You were supplied with a brain, use it. Gather intelligence: To which school does she go, activities, etc. Who does she knows, do you know these people?

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19 Name: lam-o : 2008-10-20 12:13 ID:yCtGXmS8

guys.. i think i have found what i must do. it will be a long process maybe painful, but i guess this is the best for I and she. the thing is, if i trully love her, all that matter is her hapiness and comfort.

thanks for all the advices, if there is any progress, i will say it.

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-20 13:16 ID:sJSptG0D

I'm curious, what is it that you must do?

Also, good luck with winning her heart, if possible.

21 Name: lam-o : 2008-10-20 16:04 ID:yCtGXmS8

the only thing that i can do :D, turns out to be the best way :D

call it lame, but from where i am from, impulsive,aggressive way will only makes her hates me and distanced us. (don't tell me to gather intelligence, i have enough i think :D)

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22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-20 22:48 ID:fqd1wTdB

By way of, where are you from?

23 Name: lam-o : 2008-10-21 00:56 ID:JW+uDGtF

one of the country in south east asia...

well, call this "asiatic" culture.

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24 Name: buzzbros2002 : 2008-10-21 06:26 ID:SgeYw+dl

well, i wish you luck! keep up posted

25 Name: lam-o : 2008-10-28 01:11 ID:22r9RO++

i guess it's over now haha..

i have been offline messanging her every single day for a week or so , without any reply...

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26 Name: kamikaze lobster : 2008-10-28 05:05 ID:KuUu/Hyf

no wait!!! are you sure she is implying it to u?

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-28 05:09 ID:KuUu/Hyf

no no!! don't! r u sure she is directing it at u? if not this could be your chance if she's having a problem help her through it chicks dig the sensitive guys man trust me.

28 Name: lam-o : 2008-10-28 11:25 ID:EsMfbu4m

she is not replying my apology message regarding my offline messages.

her profile has just been updated and thus she supposed to have read my message.

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29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-28 11:43 ID:cS6ClFxB

I suggest you stop sending her unsolicited me messages and contact her in real life.

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-28 17:13 ID:Heaven

>>29 eeuhm NO. Just back off, if you do that you will come off as a stalker and then she will be disgusted. Give it a few weeks and i'm sure she will pop up on msn and start a convo with you. If not, move on..or become a stalker.

31 Name: lame-o : 2008-10-28 21:05 ID:EsMfbu4m


have you read all the posts?

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32 Name: lame-o : 2008-10-28 21:07 ID:EsMfbu4m

bottom line is no hope whatsoever haha

So much for my happy ending... ^^

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33 Name: lam-o : 2008-10-28 21:09 ID:EsMfbu4m

dang it i even wrote my name wrong haha..

34 Name: buzzbros2002 : 2008-10-29 04:50 ID:SgeYw+dl

Well, personally i think that you shouldn't have kept doing offline messaging and maybe in 2 weeks or so you should email her casually, and remember to not sound too desperate or anything

35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-29 08:04 ID:r/55jFDM

i am planning to give a comment on her site (something that i never did before as i don't want to attract attention to her friends)

gonna be my last try. if she hates me then it is the end.

36 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-10-29 17:47 ID:Heaven

>>35 goodluck mate.