I'm writing you this letter, because I want to move on and develop other crushes on other boys. I am tired of thinking only about you all the time.
I don't really want to touch you and hug you and kiss you and adore your neck and arms and awesome personality, I obviously am lying while writing this, but I must move on, even though I don't feel comfortable with this thought.
As you probably realize, you are not trying to forget someone, but an obsession that has grown inside you and which does not correspond to any real person anymore. It has simply become an escapist strategy that your mind uses as a shield to avoid moving on.
i can be ultra social if needed and i most of the time am. I'm all tired of this crap, i just want to be alone and not have any feelings.
Then again I want someone to luw and such, but I'm way too picky. It's easier to live in fantasies than real life.
Life will never be as good as we want it to be. Crawl out of the hole you've created with your fantasies and accept reality as it is.
People are imperfect. You are imperfect, as evidenced by this desperately clingly behavior. Even that person that you're so hopelessly attached to has some imperfections of his own. If you can't look past some of those minor imperfections and accept people as they are, then you'll obviously never get anywhere. Compromise is the biggest factor in all relationships.
Yeah, >>4 is right, but don't mistake love with an asshole who will you use and cheat / a bitch.
>>3 your pickiness (and your nostalgia) are just symptoms of the general withdrawal you are experiencing.
There is nothing perfect in this world. And all the positive experiences you have experienced until now had their imperfections and blemishes. Still you enjoyed them, because simply the good stuff was touching you more than the bad stuff. Right now there's a lot of negativity in you, and you are more sensitive to the bad stuff than to the good stuff.
An asshole isn't one to compromise, anyway. If a person isn't willing to sacrifice something, then they're not fit to be in a relationship. This also applies for those who are willing to give up their own individuality for someone else.
The thing is that I'm acting all picky and weird with people who are as perfect looking as I prefer :( And I'm ultra shy with people who are pretty or who I would like to start knowing little better. Usually i avoid even eye contact and lose control over my face/emotions.
why not travel to a warm country and become white whore for dark men? it's what they crave and they are well tooled, so you will like them to. after a while you will die of hiv but in the meantime you had extreme fun. no need to worry we all die one day but dying in misery is worse. this is my suggestion. either have fun make yourself vulnerable and used, or make love to oneitis. your choice, be his bitch and you will see hes flaws and lack of power. you will want dark men in the end anyway. alternatively, learn indonesian.
WOW, strong assumptions. I would rather make love to my dearest oneitis than any darker man. My sexual preferences are more like the paler the better, btw,his flaws and lack of power = godlike man to me :P
Actually, you seem to be doing better than I thought initially,... since you display some interest for other guys than your oneitis.
Actually I don't think you should mind so much your blushing. I don't think blushing is ugly, on the contrary. But of course, since blushing comes from personal embarrassment, it's never comfortable.
I've smiled and looked away. And.. let me explain u a little..
I'm pretty much a regular in this gym, and as usually there's more regulars than just me. So those regulars who I've used to see in the gym for past several months, I've started to like. I mean they are all cool and awesome and pretty, and I like their bodies, specially butts, necks etc.
>I hope next time i see them in the gym i will tell them "HI.. #blush blush#"
Go for it! Don't just say Hi, ask them what's their training, how regularly do they come, what are their fitness goals, do they have a coach, how did they get into it, do they do other kinds of sports, the merits of this versus that machine/technique/food/training/whathaveyou.
OMG!!! you can't imagine how much i want. But every time i see them guys, my mind is all B L A N K and i don't have any questions. I can easily answer to YES & NO questions and never lie or look seductive .. i just stare creepily and be like.. "Umm.. ok.. yes.. eh.. okay.. No.. ?!!! ??" You know?!! :(
asking them to help you is a great idea.
>I don't want to look like attention-whoring around them.
you are so cute, thank you! :)
I hope that tomorrow when I'm going to the gym, i can start with simple "Hi, how is it going?!" and see what will happen. I think it's better to go rather slowly than hurry into it.
>>17 great Oneitis, let us know how you are faring!
Little update before going to the gym today..
Right now I'm feeling myself little more confident as usually. I'm not ready to go yet, but i basically have everything planned out. I figured as well that I'd prefer to be/stay friends with my current oneitis, i think the key is behind friendship. Seems to me that I don't want to sex him madly as much I just want to care about him and be in good relationships with him. But oh well, he probably is thinking differently. In fact, i think he simply hates me, but its ok, as I'm trying to throw him out from my head, even though i know it's impossible and i will always remember him as a kind and very awesome person. I will always love him in my memories. Other than that.. oh god, i want to be his FRIEND SO BADLY!!!!
I failed :(
I was working out little too hard and started feeling dizzy + got them stars all around my head and i sort of freaked out a little. So instead of talking to the boys, i just simply stared them with blank eyes, and stared their butts and tried to avoid the eye contact and .. it was such a fail and i feel so sorry :(
It's great that you are reporting on your progress! Don't worry if you failed this time to make contact with them, if it was easy there wouldn't be an issue in the first place, isn't it? Since you are seeing them today, and you think they noticed your efforts to talk to them, I think it's a great idea to play with that
>>21 you are absolutely right! Its little more complicated though. As it doesn't feel right to just go there and talk to them. Today I feel less confident than usually and im planning going to the gym again today later, hopefully i will see them again and actually talk to them :( makes me sad to realize what a chicken i have become.
Good luck for you Oneitis!
Just one comment though: take it easy with the make up:
yes i know.. but im trying to make it as natural as possible to hide my blushing :( But I've noticed that when i blush, nothing can hide/cover it.. goddamn..
They were not there today, I will try again tomorrow morning.. :/
They were not there today, I will try again tomorrow.. :/
Failed today. I was so close to him, so close of speaking up and smiling, but the situation wasn't just right. I guess the place was correct, but the timing was oh so wrong.
don't worry about it, let's see how it goes next time. If it still does not work, then you'll have to review your strategy,... good luck!
few extra days of failing.. I didn't see him past 2 days. I guess we were in at different times.
Trying again tomorrow and then after tomorrow.. and then forgetting about it.
Well,... you'll end up meeting him again, so this time don't waste your chance ^^
You know...instead of talking to him, if it's so difficult for you, why not just write him a note?
hello, just wanted to let you know that the reason why i havent been posting about the "progress" is the simple fact that i havent seen him in the gym lately. Ive been in at other times :((((
It has been long time since I last time updated.
Well lets be honest, I sort of lost interest in the big guys and now i just don't want to call them out anymore. Maybe i will start talking to them next week as to ask some advice about squatting, etc. I don't want them to look at my body and get any kinky ideas, so im not really sure if this is a wise idea. But as I have nothing to lose, i could just as well have some fun. Oh well, we'll see about that.
Nice to hear news from you! The BruceLee-kun story looks promising, do let us know how you both fare in the next weeks ^^
Today me and the Japanese guy talked a little. God, im socially pretty much retarded i would say. I had nothing to say, but felt free enough to ask about his pets and such. Anyways he was guiding the conversation pretty well and asked my number etc and wanted to go out with me on Saturday. Apparently I'm working on Saturday night, so it means i must skip it this time.
good luck gym-otaku, you've already won your freedom!
kissed and bite the japanese guy today.. he has kids though!!
Things are indeed progressing. Are kids a showstopper? And does he actually have a wife?
>>42 hai, we talked about it in the bar as well i think, but i don't really remember what is the deal with his waifu and all. But kids are so tiny, both sons less than 5.. Yes, its a show stopper! but I'd love to be friends with him. he's not only cutie, but hella hella hottie too :P (yes want.. )
Looks like you earned yourself a friend within the fuckbuddy range ^_^'
Over the time things have changed. Me and jap is no go anymore. Im happy it went like this. I dont have any desires or needs or anything about him. So i guess, i just liked his looks, that's all.
The real reason why im pumpin' this thread, is cuz i FINALLY said HELLO to the big guise!!
>not saying hi would make me look rude
Exactly, you have to pull yourself over the bump, and then it should be much easier.
I frikken beat the fear of talking to the big guise!
Today i talked to them and asked questions about their training and stuff too. One is more talkactive than the bigger guy (i like the bigger one better, cuz he has so nice face and nose) but doesnt matter. I guess i got over the fear of talking to them cuz i actually dont have any feelings involved anymore. So hopefully i will stop pumpin' this thread and give it a go!