I'm writing you this letter, because I want to move on and develop other crushes on other boys. I am tired of thinking only about you all the time.
I don't really want to touch you and hug you and kiss you and adore your neck and arms and awesome personality, I obviously am lying while writing this, but I must move on, even though I don't feel comfortable with this thought.
I feel so good in my thoughts and feelings about this ONE-IT-IS that it is very hard for me to just let go, even though there's no actual feelings left anymore. The feelings and thoughts have grown in me with in time and it feels like a bad habit, an obsession, which I want to let go, but don't know how and don't feel strong about wanting either.
If you suggest sexing 10 random people, then this will definitely not work, I've sort of tried to drop my thoughts about this ONE-IT-IS, but over the years the feelings always come back to me. They switch from happy to sad as from desirable to hate, but lately the feelings have just been hurting me, because I miss my ONE-IT-IS while wanting to forget about him all at the same time. Those feelings are switching from light to strong and right now when I'm typing this, they are strong.. some other day they are not even there. I guess when I'm feeling lonely i start thinking about this person and my emotional base (that i have tried to build up so desperately to forget about him, just collapses).
If you read this, then please let me go and make me not want you anymore.
Pretty desperate and messy, but I had to share this with someone. Any ideas how to stop wanting?