I always tried to be a good girlfriend because it makes me happy to see I made someone I love happy but it just seems to blow up in my face every time. I love to cook and clean for guys that I date and I have a naturally high sex drive (usually I like more extreme sex then most of the guys I date but I try not to complain that I want more). And I always date the 'nice guy' (I don't know why but nice guys always seem to be my type I like). But the last guy I was dating said 'You're ok but I don't think this will work out'. I keep getting "You're ok but this won't work out." and I'm tired of it. The only people that seem to want to date me is older men or wanna-be rappers, who want me to be in their music video.
>>All I want is a nice guy who is chubby, smart, funny, can fix a computer and has a higher sex drive then me.
possibly matches to every guy on this site.
People are just afraid of commitment. That's all. Nice guys are usually like that.
With that said, don't go changing yourself to start pleasing other people, because that shit will fall apart in the end. Especially don't be a bitch either, because that'll just be idiotic. Patience is the key to everything.
Okay first things first. OP tell me if I'm right. The whole "girls like assholes who treat them like crap" is BS. What girls want is someone confident and can be someone they can follow. Nobody wants to date the guy who holds back or wouldn't be able to be the leader in the relationship.
There isn't enough info on your post to even hypothesize what's going on in your relationships. Maybe if you explain how were your relationships (how long did they last, did they ended because of disputes, different outlooks in life, etc)m we will perhaps be able to offer some useful comments.
Op here again:
No I'm not 30, I'm in my 20's and I got a good job where I can stay at home all day and make my own hours. So I usually have 3 or 4 hour work days and it leaves me really bored. So dating is some thing fun to do and I'm not looking for marriage. But my last relationship was the straw that broke the camel's back. We where going out for about 5 months and the last time we hung out, I thought it was going good, he came over to my apartment, we talked, did the gf/bf crap, had sex, he stayed over and he left to go to his classes and job. And he didn't call or text for 4 days, I thought it was normal since sometimes he gets busy with classes and he had a crappy fast food job with weird hours. So finally he texted 'I'm sorry I don't think this is going to work out you're great but this isn't working.' The couple of guys before him, I was dating for about one or two months gave me the same line. I could understand if one or two guys say it to me but almost after 6 guys, I'm starting to think something is wrong with me. I guess it's probably because I don't have to worry about college and crappy job, since all the guys I was dating where all in college, near my age or a little older and are in and out of jobs.
What strikes me in your case is the very poor communication you have with your bfs. Usually people have at least a hint of what's going on when the relationship flounders, or get some explanation from the other. It seems in your case a deeper level of communication is lacking.
I guess I do pick guys who are shy, innocent guys (my last guy was even a virgin because he was to nice to ask for sex). I do remember when I did try and get to know my exes better they would get embarrassed and change the subject.
Crap.I guess I should have seen the problem when most of my exes would have little experience. But damn it that's why I find most of them attractive.
It's very hard to find that in a guy.
I'm married and i'm only 21.
I wouldn't be happy with anything less than a girl who thinks only of me so that I may of her, anything else is paperwork. But that's just me, and I'm an elitist pseudo-intellectual... Or so my parents say.
OP, you do cleaning for guys you date? WTF! That's degrading yourself.
And yes, being a bitch and pulling them on a string might make them try to hang on longer, but won't help later.
Have you ever tried befriending the guy first? That way you two could get to know each other first and appreciate the bonds that you have. Oh and I don't really know what these guys are thinking... They must be nuts to let a girl like you get away. I do think that you shouldn't make it too hard to please you. Maybe they can't keep up with your expectations or something. Maybe you should have fought to stay with them too. I don't know, I don't have much experience besides watching dramas and animes when it comes to relationships. Good luck with your guy troubles...
IMO, what men really want from woman is...
Most nice guys prefer virgins, they won't tell you. They'll fuck you and all without you knowing that they'll dump you later (they have plannned to do so ever since they knew you were not a virgin).
I know it's preposterous, but then, it can be true. Right?
ok im a guy speakin
OPfem, you sound lik a great girlfriend to hav, but judging from what i hear, your too clingy...and abit of a mother figure on them...u cook and clean, wtf...im a guy and i dont reali want a girl do stuff for me thats gonna make me look weak wit the guys, or an asshole who wants everything done by their gf's.
I agree in a way with Scotland. I'm a guy and what I usually want from a girl is someone who I could go to for comfort, someone who understands me and someone who would accept anything I like and so on. You sound like a nice girl, but don't baby your BFs like that. It does make the guy feel like your just a friend or mother figure, which could feel awkward, that's probably why. I think once in a while is good, but not all the time.
stop dating faggots
OP.. are you in for long term relationships? or you just want to be in a relationship for sex? perhaps the "nice guys" want a girl who are more emotionally involved in the relationship and care? You did not mention your feelings at all, and seem somewhat detached, so it would be helpful if you share your view on this.. rather than just asking if you're normal for having all your exes dump you.
>>17 may be a troll but he does have a point. Maybe you should think about raising your standards OP. Hold yourself to a high standard and you'll have the right to demand that others do the same.
wow are you like my clone!
i have the exact same issues and very similar stories, though i found a solution.
the problem is the sex drive. guys think they want a girl with a high sex drive though they get freaked out when they finally find what they want and knowing girls are supposed to fall in love from sex, more sex means more love and more love means more commitment! guys are pussy when it comes to something real and they run.
ps. we are now really happy and becuase i didnt sleep with him, like i normally would, there was no freaking out and we got the emotional stuff all expressed nicely and ive learnt alot about expressing myself to him now.
(just make sure he doesnt find out i was sleeping with another guy to releive myself and were good) :)
just with your "fuck buddie" make sure that they KNOW it is ONLY sex, no emotions, if you can pull that off you should see some change.
lol just imagine on ur bf's face if he finds out..hes defo ending it with u, lol
i hear this solution all the time, my friend, she manage to keep it together for like half a year.
i actaully felt sorry for the poor guy, well it turns out that bloke knew evenatully so he decided to get revenge and secretly find someone else and was seeing someone behind her back, then my mate found out about him cheating on her (not that it was his fault to begin with) so she decided to break up and she was in tears, she did it on the phone while she was happen to be with our group of friends, (the fuck buddy, is not in our group, dont know him.)
Everyone is different. Relationship advice is generally lopsided because everyone has their own skew on the situation and everyone has different opinions and tastes?
You like to have sex alot? Great. Find a guy who REALLY like sex. Not a guy who just wants to fuck your hole 'til his wad falls out, but a guy who actually wants to make something out of it. It is certainly possible to oversex guys. I've had friends dump girls who were too crazy, even though they got fucked constantly. (I haven't quite had that problem yet :P )
TITS or GTFO
actually, women are said to be in their sexual prime in their 30's, whilst males are in their late teens.
and OP, i agree with >>15. u sound like a great girl, popular, active, social, good looking. naturally, the nice guys are gonna initially be hell chuffed when they get to hook up with you. but then as time progresses, they feel they can't keep up with you. you mentioned you cooked/cleaned...they could be feeling smothered by you, as well as them having an inferiority complex. it's like, she's hot, she cleans, she's social and all around too perfect perhaps?
What I really want...
I don;t have anyone in particular to relate to, and I don't associate with my (idiotic) family any longer. I need a lover and a friend (and even more importantly someone to stimulate my mind, a partner of a similar intellectual level). There's no reason why the two shouldn't go together. I need someone to spend all my time with. However I don't want a surrogate mother.
You gotta play hard to get. You need to be a little mysterious. And never, ever put out until the guy is obsessed with you.
As a man that's exactly what I don't want. I'd get frustrated and angry and think she isn't interested in me, feel depressed for a week or two then move on.
Women need to be honest about their feelings. If you like a guy, tell him, just as I would be open towards a girl I liked. That helps matters immeasurably! I hate all this dillying around.