wow are you like my clone!
i have the exact same issues and very similar stories, though i found a solution.
the problem is the sex drive. guys think they want a girl with a high sex drive though they get freaked out when they finally find what they want and knowing girls are supposed to fall in love from sex, more sex means more love and more love means more commitment! guys are pussy when it comes to something real and they run.
my best friend blayne and my advisor for many issues says that when you have sex with a guy (this applies for most of them) they feel like they have acheived the maximum and that no more work nbeeds to be done to impress you any firther (phone calls, etc) and then they think on it while theyre busy being boys and suddenly the word commitment dwells on them and they freak.
ive heard the same theory from many of my male friends.
i suggest you get a "fuck buddie" and make sure you reserve your sexual needs to him and be sure not to sleep with your dating partners for some time.
i FINALLY learnt this techneiqe and now have a boyfriend who is amazing, i had a "fuck buddie" behind his back for a long time so i wasnt sexually frustrated (because that affects my mood and tempers) and it took us 4months to sleep together so we had time to build on the less physical aspects, which i tend to over do .
try it out?