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I don't know what to do. (14)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-05 03:47 ID:Fp+v4mYs

Okay, here's the story.
There's this girl on a message board I used to go to. When I found out about her, I instantly had somewhat of a crush. She's cute and shares a lot of interests with me, blah blah blah. She also spends pretty much all of her time the same way I do, sitting around on a computer playing games (the same ones I do, for the most part) and posting on message boards (the same ones I do, again for the most part). There's a chat room that members of the board go to, and I would see/talk to her there quite often, and I found out she's even more like me than I could imagine. She's the stereotypical nerd's "perfect girl": A cute, friendly, hypersexual Asian girl into "nerdy" things. She knew from the start that I was attracted to her, and didn't seem to mind. I even made a post on 4chan with her picture saying how she was the perfect girl and I had a crush on her and all that. Though there were a few problems: She has a boyfriend, and she lives on the other side of the country, and as high school students we wouldn't ever be able to meet or anything. Even though she knew I was attracted to her, she decided to (or I did, I don't remember as it was a few months ago) become friends with me. I don't really remember how most of it happened, though. But we talked (and still do) every single day. She considers me (one of, I think) her best friends, and she's definitely my closest friend. She says she loves me ("in a brother/sister way"), and I love her too (in the same way, I think.)

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-05 03:51 ID:Fp+v4mYs

It sorta contradicts the last thing I said, but I think I might be in love with her. Whenever I think about her and her boyfriend, it depresses me. She's on my mind pretty much 24/7, but I don't know if that's just because she's my best friend, or what. And I feel like the whole "perfect girl" thing I have for her is totally superficial. I just don't know if I can take much more of this jealousy over her boyfriend.

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3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-05 03:52 ID:Fp+v4mYs

Also, if it matters at all, I've never heard her voice or even seen her face beyond one picture.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-05 05:00 ID:Heaven

It's a guy... how did you not see that? What girl takes one picture, especially one with a boyfriend.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-05 11:24 ID:Heaven

yeah, no

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-05 19:52 ID:m44NE5IT

>She says she loves me ("in a brother/sister way"), and I love her too (in the same way, I think.)

She likes having a tame male to tell her how smart/pretty/cool she is without the hassle of him being her actual boyfriend. She's giving you just enough hope to lead you on and maintain the statues quo, but not so much that you'll actually try to take things to the next level. Girls think this is perfectly natural and completely ok, but considering the amount of suffering it's causing you I think you would agree that it's not ok.

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-05 22:01 ID:Heaven

I can't do that. She's my best friend. I don't have any other friends as close as I am with her. And I don't ever "tell her how smart/pretty/cool she is".

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-05 22:39 ID:m44NE5IT


Then don't say I didn't warn you.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-05 23:24 ID:Heaven

wasn't planning on it.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-06 18:39 ID:/lw4pfbK

It's easy to crush on internet people. You only hear about the most interesting parts of their lives and usually see only the more flattering pictures of them.

Best to get over her, because she seems to have realized that long-distance relationships are failsauce.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-06 20:23 ID:Fp+v4mYs

You're definitely right. But the problem is that I don't know how to get over her. Aside from just cutting off communication with her, which I couldn't do since she's my only really close friend.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-06 20:53 ID:vTsmEo3d


You shouldn't have become such close friends, considering the fact that you were attracted to her. I guess you know this by now, so stressing on the should-have-been is pointless.

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13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-06 23:14 ID:Heaven

The problem is that if I did that, I would have NO other close friends.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-07 00:35 ID:Fp+v4mYs

bah, when I see her post on message boards and stuff I keep feeling like i'm "just another guy on the internet" and I should give it up. but for some reason I really don't want to.