I just started posting here and everyone seems to be great with the advice, so now I'm asking for help! Heres the thing, theres this girl I used to like in high school who so happened to be a good friend. She eventually started going out with another of my friends during high school up till now in college, but it seems like they've been having a rocky relationship lately.
I don't see the problem,... If she's willing to get closer to you, so much the better. And if you end up going out together, why not. The only issue is to get involved into a messy triangle situation, but you should not worry about that before the situation presents itself. In the meantime, since you are both interested, seems to be natural to spend time together.
I kinda want her to see that I somewhat changed for the better, but I feel like I"m still my usual self... I'm sure while I was on the phone my voice cracked and I was so embarassed about that. I don't think I have the confidence for it to be just us two. Should I ask her to grab a meal before or after the movie? What should we talk about? Got any ideas?
Grab a quick snake before the movie, before you head off. This is good for calming the nerves.
Just relax. Don't worry so much, and let it flow.
She's actually a good friend of mine and we know each other pretty well. I just want her to see that theres more to me now and such. Also we haven't seen each other in a long time, which might help. What should I do do from there _l¯l○
Just relax man, as I said. It doesn't matter how long you have been apart.
This lack of confidence that your feeling has and will be experienced by probably all modern men on this planet, and those with partners have experienced this at least once in their lives. However, confidence can be gained by thinking positively and being relaxed.
Thanks again for the advice, but just one more thing... Should I dress a little nicer than I usually do? or just go with my usual stuff?
Yeah, why not?
Don't go formal but a nicer set of clothes would be nice.
thanks a lot, I'll post on how it goes next week if anything doesn't come up!
Good luck, soldier. ;)
Oh boy this is big! This is bad! WHAT DO I DO!? I signed up for an online dating thing for fun, just starting to have doubts in myself again. The one girl I was interested in kinda hates otakus (;>_<). I haven't messaged her yet, but if I decided to would I have to deny really being one? Right now I guess I'd call myself a closet Otaku since I'm "normal" on the outside. Well its kinda a dead give away with my name on the site being "Otakun" too and also a test saying how Otaku are you, which I scored pretty high... Should I just keep her in mind and move on?
Oh gosh, nevermind, I was getting ahead of myself and she's seeing someone. I freaked out so much that I didn't "read the directions" Oh well, hopefully things go well this coming friday... Tonight was some sort of event that the girl was goign to and her "boyfriend" went there too. Maybe I should have went, but I think it'd be too troublesome for everyone. Oh well... still doing my best.
If she hates you for who you are, maybe she isn't the right one for you. Being otaku is not something that is considered a fault of personality.
I'm getting a bit confused here. Is the online dating "thing" with the same girl or with a different girl?
Its a different girl, I got curious after being pessimistic about this friday so I signed up for a site my friend recommended. I got worked up for a moment there (╥_╥)
Anyways like I was saying the thing with the girl on friday she might still be with her boyfriend... Should I still try to win her over? Maybe I'm just too much of a worrier huh?
think about it... do you want just because she's taken?
second, did she "miss" you just because she was having arguments with her bf and you were there as a backup friend?
third, if you do "win" her over... don't you think it'll be likely one day that she'll get "win" over by other guys as well?
I don't want her just because she's taken
Back in high school I had feelings for her that I never acted on. When I was thinking about doing it, another friend basically got to her first. I don't know, deep down I know I may still have some lingering feelings. I don't know if I'm a backup or if theres no hope... I just don't know what to do anymore...
well...I've helped out a lot of pals and gals before. I'm a college student whose experienced more than i probably should.
Well otakun, here's whats up, you like a girl you couldn't get in highschool because you were to slow and doing what u wanted to do. Now that you're experiencing her again with same/different guy from highschool, why? I'm assuming you're in college,there's probably over 5000 students in your school, tsk i have 30000 in mine. Just because she has a rocky relationship right now doesn't mean they are going to split. You are just instigating UNLESS you go to the theater as only a true friend. I hate to burst your bubble and no mean to offend but you look like the bad guy right now. u seem to want to steal her away from her boyfriend. karma is gonna come knocking at your door later on.
So how does that account for my good actions getting repayed back with bad karma? So does that mean I should just give up like always and take the bullet again? I guess thats what I should do according to you huh?
I'm seriously lost when it comes to things with relationships and stuff. I've never got to know a girl with the intentions of getting with them, now and before. I've always been the good friend that's known for being a nice guy. Its always that I develop the feelings down the road and like most nice guys are too afraid to act...
no im saying that if you plan on getting with her, then its bad. it's not called giving up. its called doing the right thing. i'm sure you're a nice guy but why do u want to go after her still if she is already dating someone else...?
I agree with XCDX3R0, you don't just take another guy's girlfriend. I'm a girl myself and I hate guy's who do that. Look at yourself, do you want to remember that if she leaves him for you, you are called a rebound.
Just to let you know, I'm XCDX3R0 friend that is next to him. Giving my own 2 cents on this topic.
OK, so I know how you feel, I'm pretty much the "nice guy" and all for several years, so I totally know where you're getting at, but seriously trying to take a girl that is taken is wrong. Think of it like this, would you like someone taking her from you when she is with you? I'm pretty sure you wouldn't want that to happen. Another thing, just because she asked you to go to the movies, it really doesn't mean anything. People invite people all the time to movies and other places to hang out, but that doesn't mean anything other then "Yay, we are hanging out together." Even if it is just you two, it doesn't mean anything other then you guys are going on a date as friends. Couples fight all the time, it happens, relationships is something where both partners have to cope with. Give them time and see what happens. If she DOES break-up with him, it doesn't necessarily mean that she stopped loving him, actually time apart from an argument could cause them to realize how much they actually need each other and yeah....
Alright everyone, before I even read what you guys just said I realized how stupid I was being and how unethical it was. I'm just some overthinking idiot for even considering it. Man I feel dumb, anyways you're all right and its good to see that you guys were so truthful and honest with me. Thanks, I'm moving on now and trying to do things the honest way. Our encounter on friday will be nothing more than friends also. You know the catch up and such.
Don't go out with girls that have been with your friends without talking to them about it first. EVER.
I let you imagine how that rule applies if said friend is still with her. Good thing you gave up.
Yeah, I've always been the type that gets a little ahead of themselves when it comes to love and such. Its just that lately I've just been seeing how empty my life has been. Constantly playing video games and watching anime to fill in what I'm missing. Right now I'm trying to change myself you know? I want to be more social, I want to follow my dreams, and most importantly fall in love. Ahaha I feel a little weird writing this now, but 4 channel is really giving me lots of inspiration right now. Thanks all of you for being brutally honest with me and I hope you guys could continue giving me great advice. Especially from stopping me from doing something stupid again.
only dating takes time. I've never actually experienced it but I'd assume it takes time because not everyone go online everyday to check on stuff like that.
so don't sweat it, give it some time, but i still advocate that you find a girl within a 20+- miles radius of you rather than online. because there is so much more plus sides.
Forget this online dating stuff ^_^
check out my new thread guys if you're still reading this