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Typical(?) Long Distance Relationship Break-up Problem (8)

1 Name: WestCosatOP : 2008-11-16 07:24 ID:D6zV+JCd

So, I meet this girl when I'm 17 on a cruise ship. She's 14. We hang out during the entire duration of the cruise, we hit it off great. Nothing "happens" between us on the ship in THAT sense, but we still feel like we need to keep in touch, so we trade AIM SN's. We wouldn't be able to see/talk to eachother however, since I'm on the west coast and she's practically on the complete opposite coast.

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2 Name: WestCosatOP : 2008-11-16 07:25 ID:D6zV+JCd


I realize that I still have feelings for this girl, but I fear that if I try to move in on her again, I'm gonna be left with the short end of the stick and just get shot down even further than I was the first time. I've talked to several of my friends about this situation. Several say "Well...that's it, dude. Long distance learned your lesson?". Several others say "Hey, who knows. Just roll with the punches and if you really think it's meant to be, just go for it and things may just turn out in your favor."

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3 Name: Otakun : 2008-11-16 08:07 ID:i4cvBKQX

I recently had an extremely long distanced relationship with a girl... and it completely failed on me. However, I had a friend that kept a relationship at the same distance and it worked out. All I can say is its really 50/50 because its online. You don't exactly know what events that can change either of you before its too late or already happened. I mean me and my girl we were on the right road too, but the communications was the hardest thing. For your sake, stay friends, but try to detach yourself from the love you feel. My friend once told said, "I don't know whats worse, the pain of holding on? Or the pain from letting go?"

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4 Name: WestCoastOP : 2008-11-16 09:01 ID:D6zV+JCd

Well, I'm kinda throwing the idea of going out there with one of my buddies for his birthday; y'know, kill two birds with one stone? Worse comes to worse, we'll still be friends and I'll get a vacation out of it.

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-16 09:06 ID:bOi0qFu3

So let's see: You have not seen her for ages, she is reluctant to communicate with you, thinks it's a bad idea for you to go meet her at her prom, and broke up with you.

This may come as shocking news to you, but your relationship is over, terminated, finished. For sake of clarity, let me rephrase it to you: No more, basta, end of the line.

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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-16 09:57 ID:b7Qxb07Y

Hey OP, sorry to hear about all of that. It must be tough, especially since it's a long distance thing.

Give yourself more time to think it over before you decide what you want to do in this situation. Where are you in life? What are your goals? What are your wants and needs, and how do these two weigh against each other? What about her? Things like that.

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-11-16 12:55 ID:nWlCFDt/

give her some space, if she's stressed out about going to college, then give her some advice or whatever about college (i'm assuming you're in college now?)
-try to act like a friend as much as possible, and just drop the boyfriend/girlfriend thing until she mentions it again. who knows, maybe she got herself a boyfriend over the summer.

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8 Name: WestCoastOP : 2008-11-29 10:25 ID:6SqhjXqa

Just a minor update about the whole situation.

I took your guys' advice and decided to distance myself from "EastCoastEx" in that way. And you know what - I feel a lot better. It seems as though I'm now able to be a LOT more honest with her than I ever was when we were together.

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