There's this guy in college. We call him M. I think I like him. I talked to him a few times. The thing is, he's a bit nerd. And people would he's soooo not my type. But I like him. He seems sincere. But I don't know what to talk with him. Despite that, I still think he's cute. If I could, I would like to spend a private moment with him, and just stare at him. I wannnntt M!
Just go for it,... Who cares what other people think about it?
As for what to talk about, just ask him what are his interests (music, movies, whatever), and concentrate on shared interests. Rapidly you'll have more than enough talk fodder to last you a lifetime.
I second >>2 's thought.
If you want him, go ahead and get him. Invite him for a coffee or something. Figure it out from there!
I'd love to invite him for coffee, but I'm so scared to ask him. I mean, what if he rejects it? Believe it or not, the first time I ever talk to him, he asked for my MSN, but I was reluctant that time, so I didn't give him mine. Now, I would do any mean to get his! Anyhow, I don't want to look so desperate in any way. Past few weeks, when I bump into him, he would smile at me. But lately, I think he's intimidates by me, and whenever we bump into each other, he would just make a blank face. I really hope we can at least be close friend!
'fraid to say that the only way to get to know him better is to start conversations whenever you bump into each other, and eventually ask those "stupid questions".
If it were me in M's place, I would be flattered that a girl would want to get to know me better.
Well, really? I'll try. But I think he's slightly different. Because you see, he's this nerdy type of guy.
He asked your MSN? what are you complaining about? Most people start with less than that.
Once again, just go for it. Not doing something for fear of rejection is the best way to ensure nothing will happen. If you are really afraid of rejection, just do things with lower chance of rejection. Starting a casual conversation is less risky than point blank asking him to go out, etc,...
Weird as it may sound, yes, he did asked me for my MSN. Well, back then it was for a different thing. Well, you see, he's a foreign language learner, and I happened to had learned that language before and I can speak it quite well. So, that's how we actually know each other. Through my ability of speaking that language and through his desire to learn that language.
> I'm afraid he'll never have that sort of feelings for me. I think that he wants to be my friend solely because I can speak that language. He would only consider me as someone like that.
You are very lucky, you have a golden opportunity to spend time with him. Just suggest to do conversation cessions with you in that language. In that way he improves his skills, and you have plenty of time to get to know him better.
Yeah. I guess so. But I'm afraid I'll sound weird if I speak in front of him. Plus, I don't know his interests. I don't know much about Sport, and I don't know if he's interested in the Entertainment world.
One thing, I always bump into him at the library, usually at the same time. I think he's a bookworm, who loves to read (which I am not).
This thread kinda angers me. So what if he's a nerdy kind of guy? I mean, look where your asking advice. We're all a little nerdy around here lol
a girl that admits to liking a nerd? loooooooooooooooooooooooooool
you almost had me there, OP
>>I think that he wants to be my friend solely because I can speak that language. He would only consider me as someone like that.
Nothing wrong with starting a friendship based on studying the same language. If that relationship blossoms into something more than that so be it. If it stays as just a normal friendship then that's fine too. If you study with him it will be a great opportunity to get to know him and for him to get to know you.
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to offend you guys. Thank you so much for your advice.
New semester will start soon. In fact, it's this Monday. And I can't tell you how anxious I am to meet him again.
if you don't know his interests, just ask them. People often like to talk about their interests! Things like that make great conversation topics.
But I think he's the shy type. Our previous conversation was always dull and boring. It's like, I ask him one thing, he'll answer me one thing, and he never brought up any issues of interest.
That is, except when he's asking me about Deutsch. His curious face makes him look soooo cute. I can't believe I said that. lol.
Keep asking until you find a common interest, then carry on with the conversation.
or just start talking about your own, see if he joins in.
I've tried. But he always makes his dull look. The 'what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about' look. Seeing that, I sort of having this feeling, that he's not interested in me.
I knew we have a common interest, Deutsch. But talking about Deutsch is soooo not 'it'. Plus his Deutsch is not that good, I hardly understand what's he saying.
>I was wondering, as school start, should I play cool, and say Hi to him first, or wait for him to do so.
Good idea but there is one condition. If he don't answer you, give up (or in) and don't even try to talk to him. Never. It's hella annoying when people keep bugging you everyday with their "hello/hi/whatever" knowing you won't react. If he refuse to greet with you (remaining silent IS a refusal), he don't want to know you. Easy thing but lots of people don't understand this.
Or he could actually be SHY. Before my best friend and i were friends she used to think i was always upset by her presence when i was just out of my comfort zone due to the unknown situation of befriending someone like her.
Op, would you ask him out? Else maybe try to make clear you'd be interested in seeing him out from uni. Also try to give him 'the look' and maybe a bit of physical contact but don't overdo it.
Well, If he ignores me, I'll give up, for sure. Maybe he's just not into me as much as I'm into him.
Nerdy as in, the way he dresses is a bit off (for me), and he always hangs out with his other nerdy friend. Even my friend said he looks nerdy.
Maybe he's still licking his scars over you not giving him your MSN or something. So that might be the reason why he's acting unfriendly towards you.
But yeah, just talk to him. You could ask him to go to a school cafe or lunch with you. Just don't worry about it too much, relax!
Yeah! I think you're right. Maybe that is why. I mean, I would be dissapointed.
Well yeah. How about a lunch at the canteen? Gives plenty of time to talk about whatever and it doesn't come off too strong.
And so what if you both are from different races. It's the 21st century! If he can't handle it, big deal.
Asking him to the School Cafe, isn't that a big deal? Shouldn't he be the one who suppose to ask me.
Yaah. Inter-racial is so 'it' these days, right? lol.
1: Love doesn't just happen on it's own. You need to take the initiative! It could be that he's too timid to approach you. If that's the case, you should just ask him. And it's not such a huge step: It's a necessary step, even if all you ever become is "Good friends."
Yeah, you're right. But what if he's not into it? I'm afraid, that he's scared of what others will say. I mean, I'm so on with the 'interracial' thing.
I come from a place, where people will stare blankly at you if you're out with someone of different race. Sad.
So what. My country they don't have black people around here. Only rarely do you see them.
Anyway, go for it on monday or whenever you see him. Let's see how this rolls out
hey. there's a nerd side in all of us! how nerdy is he? does he like subject smart? anime lover? what kind of nerd is he? and then... find out what kind of nerd lies within you, too!
>I've tried. But he always makes his dull look. The 'what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about' look. Seeing that, I sort of having this feeling, that he's not interested in me.
That's probably him just suppressing his emotions or whatever. Way-too-introverted people do that sort of blank stare a lot when they can't decide how to emotionally deal with a situation. Not saying, like he's crushing on you or some shit, but like he's in his own little world thinking about Fjords and Vikings and then you and your tits come along all friendly like. Friends of mine always gave me shit about acting that way when we first me.
I'm writing this at my college's computer lab. The first dat of college, was, I must say, AMAZING! It's like a fate. I was in my car, way from my college, when I suddenly saw him by the road (with a few friends)! Omg, I believe it's a thing called 'fate'. How would he end up there? Fate, right?
Cool, tell me when something actually happens!
I bumped into him again yesterday at the library. He looks so cute reading Physics. When he walked pass me, it is as if he got something to say. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to start a conversation!
The saga of True-chan, part 98 out of 1 million
True-chan: Hi, Mark-kun.
Mark-kun: (Oh crap it's True!!)
That's very funny. You made my day. I'll give my best!
Sadly no. I'm too afraid to start a conversation. His stare is so, deadly. I saw him shopping the other day with some friends, but I couldn't find the gut in me to start a conversation.
Somehow deep down inside, I believe that a man should make the first move.
Somehow deep down inside, I believe that you're gonna miss your chance, and end up dying an old lady alone devoured by your cats. Okay, that might be a bit overkill - nevermind. Just keep the first part of the sentence.
Fine, OK. Wait for your M.-kun to make a move. It will happen soon, right?!
All you have to do is go up to him
as 42 mention, maybe youre gonna miss your chance.....
and if you think "that a man should make the first move." well, i can not give you any advice at this... but in your situation i think you'll need him to notice you...
I don't know how to make him notice me. I mean, I know he noticed me, but how to make him make the first move?
>(...) how to make him make the first move?
It's impossible. From what I read here (/love/) I can say that most of nerdy guys won't react no matter what. Even if he has feelings for ya, he will be too scared to do anything. We nerds are... nerds and that explains everyshit. We have 2^50 bytes of excuses for every discreet signal.
don't you have any asexual male friends to bully/encourage you into asking him out?
stop whining about how intimidating he is in this thread
go up to him
I'm confused. Scared. Perplexed.
He's going to celebrate Chinese New Year next week (He's a chinese).
also True just go for it
just give your IM already~
it would make things much easier!
i've been trough a nerd life until junior high...
Thank you for the advices. It's been a while.
I didn't seem to make any progress lately. AT ALL. He's just, to hard to approach. Things get worse as we never talk like we used to.
you know this won't work out unless you get over your fear over him.
OMG! OMG! OMG!
I'm extremely exuberant! Something happeened yesterdey!
I was out from a room when suddenly a guy pass by and he said 'HI'.
you have to be a troll
What do you mean by being a troll?
How do I work this things out? I want to be closer to him!
um this is my wild suggestion...
why not start do some "hinting" / "leading" him into...
he might catch-up to it :p
Define 'hinting'/'leading' things to do.