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The girl I love is going out with a guy. (18)

1 Name: Akagi : 2008-12-23 10:00 ID:sFx/pmzM

Heres the story.

I fell in love with this girl last year, took 6 months to grow the balls to tell her, and she rejects me. I baw'd for a while, but still talked to her everyday through an IM client. So during the next 6 months i've become her most trusted friend, she's told me every secret she's ever had etc....

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-23 10:28 ID:atOU/rQ+

"Man up or shut up" would be my troll response.

At the very least, show some concern for your friend (she's not your girlfriend, she's a friend) on the playboy issue if you haven't already.

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3 Name: Akagi : 2008-12-23 10:32 ID:sFx/pmzM

The other female's 'interest'

I take it as interest, she said that she slipped me a love potion and was waiting for it to take effect, I tell her I can't cook then she makes a commment to the effect of 'if you had a girlfriend she could cook for you. Later in the conversation she expressed her desire to cook for me. She also said she wanted a 'winter fling' with someone.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-23 11:38 ID:atOU/rQ+

Mmmm... Well, if you're stuck in friend zone, it won't hurt either way. As long as you're cautious as to how to go about things. Again, ask another Anon and I'll lurk.

vericode: boyffness

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5 Name: Akagi : 2008-12-23 11:44 ID:sFx/pmzM

any other anons willing to halp?

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-23 12:34 ID:V/9OzYTO

The problem is that you are behaving hypocritically. You maintain a friendship with her because you still have a love interest on her, but you don't actually make a move on her, because you failed in the past.

The problem is within you, and it's up to you to solve it. Either you actually try again to seduce her, and risk failure (or success), or then you really give up hope of going out with her. If you take the second option, you should probably think on whether you would really like to have a friendship relation with this woman, or if in the end friendship will always be a cover.

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7 Name: Akagi : 2008-12-23 16:25 ID:sFx/pmzM

Believe me, i've tried to get over her. I've stopped talking to her for a month or so to distance us...

But after all that, I still can't get over her. I thought I was over her at one point, until she expressed she liked this (other) guy.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-23 17:07 ID:V/9OzYTO

>>7 get another gf, that's all there is to it. And spend more time away from her, as long as your infatuation persists.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-24 00:22 ID:Heaven


The most important rule of thumb in love is that we want what we can't have.

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10 Name: Akagi : 2008-12-24 04:09 ID:09NzOeBy


But I am already a big part of my loves life. It would be awful of me to just leave her like that, since I AM her most trusted friend, and she already has trust issues.

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-24 15:18 ID:ppiEmDbw


It's awful of you to pretend to be her most trusted friend when you want more than that and she thinks you've moved on. You can spend your life in her shadow wishing she loved you, but that doesn't make you her most trusted fried, it makes you a lap dog.

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-24 16:20 ID:F1wREc50

yeah, I would 100% recommend that you try to at least get to know the other girl. this kind of puts you in a bad spot though.

  1. If this "double date" is your first date with this girl, make DAMN SURE - I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH - you spend most of the time talking to her and listening to her. try not to look at, think of, and above all COMPARE this girl to the one who's dating the other guy. If you fail at any of these things, the girl who likes you will take it as a great insult, and it's just not cool to insult the ladies.
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13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-25 02:01 ID:+xXnU/li


>basically, this is a great opportunity for you to get over this other girl.
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14 Name: Akagi : 2008-12-25 02:07 ID:sFx/pmzM


What should I do then? I am fine with just being close to her, and I like it that she tells me all her problems so I can try to solve them. I think she will eventually come around and appreciate it, then maybe love me back? god that sounds pathetic just typing it....

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15 Name: Akagi : 2008-12-25 02:22 ID:sFx/pmzM


Well, she had a guy she loved a while ago, and she might not be entirely over him. So if I wait...She could come around :)

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-25 02:59 ID:GeWlzTF0

Why is it always this way? You think of excuses, lie to yourself, ,etc.
She doesn't like you. i can't think of a clearer way to say it. Move on, great opportunity to hook up with someone in the double date. Sounds like that girl likes you, take advantage of it.

17 Name: Akagi : 2008-12-25 03:09 ID:sFx/pmzM


I realize she doesn't like me. It's just I dunno, I've already dated other girls. I dated a girl the month I didn't talk to her. But whenever I see or even think about her the feelings alway return full force. Plus I've already tried not thinking about her, but everything I see reminds me of her.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-27 21:05 ID:Heaven


You have a tendency to be a bit thick when it comes to matters of the heart, and mind.

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