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Angry because I like her? (17)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-25 11:21 ID:kjDHFVLf

Long story short, I'm in love with my best friend.

We both have severe trust issues, but we trusted each other. We know everything about each other, problem is I fell in love with her.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-25 12:09 ID:Ilg2nUue

She not only has trust issues but apparently self-respect issues too. She thinks she isn't worthy to be your gf, and is so embarassed that she can't even look you in the eye any more, right?

Try to think from her perspective, you know her better than anyone else probably. Would she behave like this if she didn't like you?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-25 12:26 ID:kjDHFVLf

I forgot to add that I already told her once, and she rejected me.

She says i'm wasting my time because she isn't going to go out with me. She is saying that there is no point in helping her, because I like I said she probably thinks that I only gained her trust and friendship to go out with her.

4 Name: Daydreamer : 2008-12-25 12:53 ID:gVbY7cNr

>I think she thinks that the only reason I got close to her is to date her.
>she probably thinks that I only gained her trust and friendship to go out with her.

Pardon me if I'm being terribly naive now, but what if you'd just explicitly let her know this is not the case? Let her know that first and foremost she's your friend, and you're just as surprised about having fallen in love with her as she is?

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-25 13:02 ID:kjDHFVLf

I told her that. She continues to ignore me.

6 Name: Daydreamer : 2008-12-25 13:27 ID:gVbY7cNr

I see. That's unfortunate.

(I'm sorry for not being more help.)

7 Name: Milo-Man : 2008-12-25 14:40 ID:4zhNIcmF


Ungrateful girl. Stop wasting your time and go for another girl.

8 Name: Daydreamer : 2008-12-25 15:16 ID:gVbY7cNr

I think that's a bit harsh on her. She has a problem that the OP would understand.

How to regain the trust of someone who usually doesn't trust people?

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9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-25 15:23 ID:Z0OFegHE

I agree with >>7 this girl doesn't have self-respect issues, in fact, from what it sounds she doesn't respect YOU. You're "wasting your time" trying it on with Princess Awesome?

Move on and you'll never look back.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-25 15:40 ID:Z0OFegHE


Apologising for being attracted a a girl? Seeing as OP can sit upright to type, I'm assuming he has some spine. Do not apologise if you ever want her to respect you.

11 Name: Daydreamer : 2008-12-25 19:12 ID:gVbY7cNr

(Having a spine... I wonder what that's like.)

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-26 06:36 ID:tE2xXfwW

Unfortunately, I've given up my spine. I would really do anything short of raising the dead to get her back, just even as a friend...

And right now I really don't know what I feel. I don't know if i'm angry at her for not understanding me, or depressed because she has 'left me'

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13 Name: Milo-Man : 2008-12-26 09:28 ID:4zhNIcmF


Dude, do you know what my mistake in a relationship was?. I was so stuck to liking to one girl for years while believing that she might be the one for me and in the end, she rejected me. I was disappointed. I wasted high school and university years just to get one girl. I was a fool. Don't walk on the same path.

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14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-27 09:34 ID:BJYhFp8B

i feel for you op, but i agree with >>13
if she has trust issues, but she trusted you as her adviser, then all she saw you as was "my really helpful FRIEND" you pretty much got filed under 'friend' and overstepped the friend boundary.

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2008-12-27 23:07 ID:oCWRj2RG

It's pretty obvious you've been friend-zoned. From personal experience, there's no way out of that. You're better off looking somewhere else for love, because all you'll find is anguish if you keep insisting to yourself that you can win her back, even though you never had her at all.

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16 Name: Milo-Man : 2008-12-28 09:06 ID:4zhNIcmF


You are absolutely correct. Do not ever apologize. It's your true feeling. If she doesn't appreciate that, then stuff that.

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17 Name: angel of cain : 2008-12-28 22:50 ID:h3ZFFEmC

just reconize that you had some good times together but that was in the past. so move on with your life.