Slow day at work…
For the next few weeks we continued to talk and the amount of flirting intensified. It is interesting to look back at the old AIM logs and see how we flirted with each other. I remember I would test how far I could go with by slyly dropping compliments and calling her “babe” just to see if I could get away with it. And I did. What was most frustrating though that I could not see how well I was doing. Normally when I was flirting with girls, I was talking to them in person, face-to-face, so I could read their body language. But since this was long distance (7 hours driving), all I had based on my progress were “lol” and smilely faces.
About a month into the casual flirting I was lost. I did not know where I was with her. And frankly at that point I really did not care. It was long distance and at that time I knew for a fact that nothing was going to progress out of it. SO I thought, hey why not just enjoy this random flirting and I have someone I can talk to for hours on end with 0 commitment. But we talked for about 3-4 hours every day, generally in the evening and nights. Luckily I was an insomniac and I would only need about 5 hours of sleep to be okay for the next day. Also around the same time, I developed a really good friendship with her best friend; the same girl with my ex’s name. I enjoyed talking to both of them but early on I was more comfortable with her friend than my future girl. At the time, I did not know the motives of my girl. I knew she was holding something back but I could not figure out what. While her friend was just purely interested in friendship and it was known since day 1. So at first I was much more open to her friend than to her. And I guess I assumed that since this girl wants a friendship then my girl just wants the same too and her flirting is just part of her nature.
So midway through summer, I just assumed I was placed into the friendzone. And there were hints too that I thought I was placed into the friendzone. She would ask me if I had any single friends that fit this certain criteria. What I didn’t realize is that criteria was a description of me, or at least her perception of me. But kept my demeanor and my cockiness and I told her that I am the best guy out there. After a while our flirting tamed a bit and we just talked. Talked about everything and nothing. It was around this time she told me about her ex boyfriend and how he got caught up in drugs and shit like that. That is why she left him because she does not do anything like that. And I think at that moment I knew for a fact that I was in the friendzone. And in retrospect I think that helped out the relationship. I stopped worrying that I had to impress this girl and show off. I knew for a fact I have a friend that I can talk to when I am bored or lonely just feel like talking. She was isolated from my campus and the daily drama I go through. She is just an outsider to my world and I have someone I could fall back to. Also I caught myself kind of angry too that I got friended. Though I did not care that much getting her as a girlfriend, a part of me did. But I understood that this long distance it was not going to work out, but it was not a complete total lost.