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Girl next door (27)

1 Name: Op : 2009-01-24 01:23 ID:8PIMLmjE

hello everyone,
well... how do I start... there's a girl (whoa, what a surprise)... and I think I like her (surprise no.2)... technically, she doesn't live next door, but few steps across the hallway in same dorm as me but it's just a detail...

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-01-24 10:17 ID:S9tKxRp6

You seem to have no trouble talking with her. Use those opportunities to learn about her interests (music, movies, etc), and then invite her to do things you know will interest her (go watch a movie, for instance). The key thing is that you must increase the amount of time you spend alone with her. That creates a bond that will form the basis of a relationship.

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3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-01-24 13:37 ID:f4OhT9f5

Do you mean by otaku that you have an interest in the modern cultural artifacts Japan, specifically anime, manga, etc., but it is not necessarily what consitutes the entirety of your being, or that it is indeed what you live and breathe? If you are made of stapled manga pages, then I see no problem with it, it's like any other hobby, right, so don't worry about that.

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4 Name: Op : 2009-01-25 01:02 ID:8PIMLmjE

well, maybe ,,shy" wasn't the right word... she's not the type that gets overcomed by feelings, from what I have noticed, she always stays calm so it's a little hard to notice her true feelings, or so it seems to me... but she doesn't have problem talking to someone, even if it's stranger, she's just polite and I'm afraid that she's talking to me also because she doesn't want to be rude telling me to go fuck myself... that's why I would like to see some signal or something, indicating her interest... something that makes me different... well, whenever I say ,,hello" to her when I see her at school, I smile and she smiles back so... could it mean something?

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5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-01-27 20:01 ID:h2wOjEET

ask her out to try this really "cool" restaurant together.
if she likes you... she'll prob will go with you
-- like you as a friend/or more. :) at least you will know that much!

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-01-29 09:25 ID:Fk9hNcGG

>>5: I agree with Secret Admirer's advice...give it a shot! There's no need to rush, take it slowly and good luck! :)

7 Name: Op : 2009-01-29 19:56 ID:2pjV2PZz

hmmm... asking her out... that seems pretty much early for me... dunno why, I just have the feeling... for now we're just talking through IM, I'm online almost whole day, she comes just once in a day, sometimes two... this is the only way we can communicate for now... and I don't write her everytime she comes online, it would just look weird... hell I hope the ,,taking slowly" will work out, but still, not that there's any other option...

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-01-29 20:11 ID:sSh7adKm

I watch cartoons all the time. My girlfriend don't care. She knew before we even started a relationship.

9 Name: Op : 2009-03-06 22:38 ID:iI8YAMLB

I didn't want to open a new thread for this question so I decided to write here again... the thing is, I asked her out last tuesday and it was quite good I think, we were at a teahouse, did quite a lot of talk and from my point of view had a good time... so I would like to take this a little bit futher (but still staying in ,,not rushing things" line) but I have no idea where to go with her next... I know that she likes dancing but this isn't very good idea because my dancing skills are kinda poor (and she knows it)... also, going to a movie would be good idea because even if she doesn't watch movies a lot, she seems interested when I talk about them but in cinema you just... you know... sit... and watch... that's why I think it is early for that... and this sums up my ideas, I can't really figure out some good place so I would like to know - do you have any ideas? also... any advice on dating would help because I'm still kinda new in this thing...

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-09 11:58 ID:2vNtRlyb

movie watching is definitely a good idea, just go for it.

About dancing, consider taking dance classes with her. It's still a bit early for that, but remember it when you officially start dating, because it's a great way to get closer to one another (and not being able to dance is not an issue, since you are there to learn).

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11 Name: Op : 2009-03-09 17:58 ID:nP/q11KM

uh, well... for now I'm getting some doubts about the whole thing... I know that she's not the type of girl which will go after men but it's just I'm not noticing any feedback at all - it's me who writes to her, me who says hello etc.... practically, it looks to me that if I stopped talking to her we would barely notice each other at all... I mean... if she saw me even as a friend she would at least look at me while in same room, wouldn't she?

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12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-09 18:18 ID:hgpr6kMK


Well, do let us know how it went!

13 Name: jINKS : 2009-03-09 20:32 ID:6GGxRWlm

Have the people on this thread actually been in a relationship before?? Word of advice, IM is standard for talk in this age but I suggest that Its always better to talk through the phone. As much as you might think you'll get nervous and not talk, if you honestly dig this girl, things will just pop out of your mind. As for dating advice, don't plan anything, just go somewhere. I've had experience with stuff like this. For a date, don't worry much on the planning and just have fun. I remember my first date. It was go to the mall, look/buy at stuff, check out a movie, eat, arcade, then go home. And during that whole time we talked endlessly and had loads of fun (many moments cam from my humor). So take that for advice. Have fun and try to be funny. Even the light humor can spark a moment. WARNING: DON'T STARE AT HER EYES! IF YOU LIKE THIS GIRL ENOUGH TO STRAIGHT AT HER AND JUST THINK YOUR ABLE TO FLY, DONT! IT BECOMES AN AWKWARD MOMENT, TRUST ME!

14 Name: Op : 2009-03-15 16:04 ID:caei0KK0

I've collected all my shounen ,,Who the hell do you think I am" energy and decided not to screw up further relationship just because of some doubts (I've done that once before)... so I've asked my friend for her telephone number and called her yesterday asking if she wants to go to one interesting exihbition... she agreed, we will settle on the details later but it will be probably next tuesday, concerning our timetables at school

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-15 16:27 ID:2vNtRlyb

>>14 Great to hear that, OP!

As usual, when one decides to move things, they kind of progress. Who would have known? ^_^)

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16 Name: slavem 37 : 2009-03-18 07:07 ID:vZiM0B6F

looking for master/mistress to own me totally and possess me mould me as a pet sex slave and for thier likes,willing to relocate also to be so for life.

17 Name: Op : 2009-03-18 15:27 ID:wlLuHQ4E

she canceled it... because she needs to study for tomorrow test... well, that test isn't that hard and she's been studying for some time so I think it's pretty clear sign, I'll have to move on... bang, world goes on

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-18 17:58 ID:2vNtRlyb

>>17 sounds like you're giving up a bit too fast. Just let her arrange the next meeting. If she cancels again, THEN you might have a reason to feel concerned.

19 Name: Op : 2009-03-19 14:39 ID:caei0KK0

>>18 well, she's not really that type that would arrange a meeting... and I really didn't feel from her that she was interested in me in other way than friend but I gave it shot with asking her for that date... the only possible days were tuesday and wednesday, on tuesday she couldn't so when we talked about it in the evening, she asked me whether I was at that exhibition... I replied that no, because I asked her to go with me, I wanted to send her the message that it's gonna be a date... she said that she'll think about it because of that test... and on next day she cancelled it... it's not maybe 100% rejection but to me it probably the clearest sign I got from her in last months so... bad mood yesterday, bad mood today, getting drunk in the evening, getting drunk tomorrow and it should be fine

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20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-19 14:52 ID:2vNtRlyb

>>19 Well, after you recover from you hangover, try one last time. It doesn't cost you much, and it would be stupid to regret it later

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-19 20:13 ID:imxR0sJd

The cost of your assumption may be the chance to snatch this girl up! You should give it another shot man. Make sure you break the touch barrier too.

22 Name: Op : 2009-03-22 20:45 ID:caei0KK0

ok, seriously, I don't understand these women... she just sent me a message saying that she wanted to return the tea that we had together... so we're going out on tueseday... really, woman's brain in the matters of relationships is just one hell of a mystery for me... but I hope it means I have a chance with her, I'll definitely go for it

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-22 23:21 ID:Xz1Ip+V+

>>22 well, good luck to you, and enjoy it!

24 Name: Op : 2009-04-21 20:14 ID:3cSK1Vcj

well, posting a little update here... I really wanted to figure this out myself but I just don't understand these relationships... I asked her on a third date, she agreed but then she canceled because she was ill... well, not a big deal, it happens but I don't know if I should ask her again or what... it's been almost two weeks and she didn't mention anything about it...

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25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-22 07:35 ID:fnho2xvf

just go for it. Risk is part of the game

26 Name: Op : 2009-05-13 07:13 ID:16B93P5l

so... this will be probably last post here from my side because I confessed yesterday and obtained a few words about how awesome I am and that she saw me as a friend from the beginning and nothing has changed... I'm pretty sure that I didn't do anything wrong, it was time to move things forward, one way or another, if she doesn't feel the same way, then there's nothing that can be done anymore so... why do I still feel like shit? maybe because I'm a little tired from all this trying-to-find-someone stuff, from the searching... so many girls around me and every single one I like is either taken or doesn't see me in a romantic way... yeah, I know, keep looking and good things will eventually come but hell, where's that ,,enough of looking" border? well, lucky that I'll be having exams and have to study, it'll keep me distracted for a few weeks, that should be enough to recover... and I'll pack my stuff to singles rant thread... thank you for your advice everyone

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-05-13 21:38 ID:6A1hSuwB

It's cool that you gathered your courage to talk to her. Even if sometimes you are rejected, you move forward, one way or another.

I wish you good luck for your exams, and plenty of good things for the summer holidays ^_^