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How to approach a shy girl? (42)

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-06 21:19 ID:LKJTXT/l


Hey! Dude, what's the story! You are really living the dream man! I've been waiting 19 frigging years for that kind of opportunity and it has yet to happen. Take advantage of this opportunity!

I'm happy to hear that your fears were unfounded but update us! What's going on? Did she approach you or something?

Ok, now for some actual advice. What little bit I have found out is that if you can make a girl laugh, you can make her love you. Don't think about it though. If you devote too many mental resources to thinking up a joke, then you'll miss learning about her. Instead, use what she has to say and take things you both like and try to make something funny from that.

IMPORTANT! And I mean this, and it's sort of worked for me at times, TAKE NOTE OF BODY LANGUAGE! This is a psychological phenomenon that has much evidence to back it up (I'm a psych major so I know some stuff ;) ) Anyways, when people mirror each other's body language, it sends a strong signal to them on an unconscious level.

For instance, if she's really into the conversation, she'll lean towards you, when she does this, you mirror her actions. If she leans her head on her arm or crosses her legs or does anything, try to approximate that position. Don't do a moment to moment type of replication but only the basic posture. Sitting forward, back and sustained posture is all you need to approximate for this to work.

Finally, when you go on a date, make it exciting and here's why. People aren't good at attributing causes to their mental states and can often confuse the cause of their emotions. For instance, if you go to a horror movie and she gets scared and you put your hand on hers, she will probably misattribute her racing heart to you. She'll think it's you only that's exciting her. Or, if she likes to go to bookstores or whatever, try to make her feel really happy about something (like a favorite book or something) and try to get some small physical contact or proximity or gazing directly into her eyes. Again, there is a good chance that she'll think it's nothing but her feelings for you that makes her feel like that and she'll come back for more.

That's all the practical tips I can give for now but if you'd like more, let me know. I might as well start putting this degree to good use. :)