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Is it a date? (11)

1 Name: M : 2009-03-01 16:26 ID:EOmkuGQb

Now I don't have much experience with this at all, which is why I'm here.

There's a girl I met a while back at a party/social event. We haven't met since, but have been keeping in contact with e-mail and have been planning to meet for dinner for sometime now. The time and activity has more or less been set, but I'm not sure what to make of it all. To add she's the one who's planned it/suggested we go get dinner some time (she's far more familiar with the area than myself).

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-01 18:57 ID:GNnotU1u

Uh, you mean this girl?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-01 23:17 ID:FDqEAtWs

Possibly.... And also, it could possibly be a date, but just a casual, one time thing, unless one of you or both of you keep putting the effort in to meet up more after this. Rule is usually... before the end of day 3 after the date.

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4 Name: M : 2009-03-02 04:56 ID:EOmkuGQb

>>2 Different people actually. I chose the one letter name at random

>>3 Okay, thanks for the insight. I think it's a bit of tough situation to begin with, but that sort of framework helps.

5 Name: M : 2009-04-17 10:10 ID:EOmkuGQb

So that time went good I suppose. As did the second. And now a third is scheduled. The thing is, I haven't done a damn thing. No hand holding, no parting kiss, or anything. There's a few reasons to it, but it essentially comes down to me being far too hesitant.

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6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-17 10:32 ID:76+TxS9p

well, I'm not very experienced at this dating stuff but from what I read here, I'm in pretty similar situation as you - been on two dates but haven't done a single thing (not even a hug) and I too don't know whether she likes me back or not... but I've decided not to occupy with worries about her liking me back and just go for her... if she sees me only as a friend, she'll either let me know or can possibly change her feelings... maybe you're like me and think about it too much

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-17 12:40 ID:n5B9x3H0

>>5 I don't think it pays of to worry whether she likes you or not. What counts is that she's willing to go out with you, which is already substantial, and sufficient for you to go to the next stage (holding hands, parting kiss).

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8 Name: M : 2009-04-18 15:37 ID:EOmkuGQb

>>6 >>7

Sounds about right I think. I was sort of thinking the same thing as well >>7, in so far as taking it step by step with personal goals. It's odd really, I almost don't want to show interest, as if it'd be in bad form, but that's what I have to do.

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9 Name: M : 2009-04-19 15:30 ID:EOmkuGQb


Just found out she has a boyfriend. I guess I was right to begin with. And through that I assume that her "illness" was more of an excuse as her boyfriend, rightfully so, isn't so keen on the two of us hanging out together.

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10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-19 16:20 ID:76+TxS9p

hell, this sucks... but there can also be a chance that she isn't sure about her current boyfriend... but if it doesn't work out, good luck M with other girls

11 Name: M : 2009-04-19 16:59 ID:EOmkuGQb

Well almost verbatim, according to her he's insistan that just the two of us together is bad, so if there's four people or so that's fine. Furthermore though, once a month I guess is the other condition.

Even if that is the case that she might not be sure about him, I don't think it's right to try an pursue that (unless it was completely clear). That's not to say I won't still keep in touch with her, but it's not worth my while to dwell on her feelings.

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