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How to get back to my EX?? HELP! (67)


1 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-10 17:43 ID:KMj5lQz9

Hi, im 22 and my girlfriend is 18, me and my girlfriend were together for 3 years! Thats a lot of time, i had dreams, she had dreams, we were a happy couple.
She started saying things like "lets live the present, lets not make future plans" a couple of months ago. 1 month ago she said she wanted to break up.

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2 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-10 17:47 ID:KMj5lQz9

Correction: "she said she doesnt love me,"

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-10 18:18 ID:rsRhRtJC

well, my personal opinion is that when relationship once breaks, it's very hard (if not impossible) to repair it again... it's my personal experience but I think it also depends on people involved...

if I understood correctly, she didn't give you a reason, did she? I would try to look for that cause having ill mother despite being serious issue doesn't seem to me serious enough to break a long-lasting relationship... just ask her to be honest with you and tell you why... if she still loves you, then there can be some chance... if she does not, then imo just forget about her... it will be deadly hard and painful but no is no, there's nothing left to fight for

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-10 18:20 ID:jp1ZK1Gu

What is happening to you is fairly typical, your relationship started when you were pretty young, and both of you have matured a lot, which is bound to put strains on the relationship. There is also the issue that she may have no sexual experience with other guys than you, and obsesses about trying out with other people.

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5 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-10 18:40 ID:KMj5lQz9

She said "i think i dont love you, i dont know whay and how it happened, but i dont love you".
But moments before she asked me for a hug...

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6 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-10 18:45 ID:KMj5lQz9

i allways sending text messages telling her to remember our happy days, to thing about us, to not let everything we had disappear.

She answers with "what we had was beautifull, you will allways be my first great love, you were perfect, maybe i am making a mistake but..."

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-10 19:06 ID:95VjTrPF

Stop. Just STOP.

She doesn't love you anymore but she doesn't want to crush your soul about it. She is telling you everything except she doesn't love you anymore.

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8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-10 19:24 ID:jp1ZK1Gu

I agree with >>7 that you can't just desperately cling to her, otherwise you will end up disgusting her, and that won't help you. Try to respect what she is telling, and not flatly ignoring it, forcing her to become more harsh.

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9 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-10 19:24 ID:KMj5lQz9

She has a lot of friends, shes always with some girlfriends. That's why i think the hug means that she misses me and our time together. She was 5 days with the other guy when she visited her cousin so...why ask me for a hug?

I know and she told me that before, im not the one who should be begging, it should be her, i did nothing wrong but....she didnt go to bed with anyone yet, so my heart can still forgive and forget. There's still hope we can get together again, everything is not lost yet, i have to try....or i will just regret i didn't try.

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10 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-10 19:26 ID:KMj5lQz9

>>8 we are no longer a couple, she broke up with me a month ago. 3 years dedicated to her now lost are a big issue to me.

11 Name: 8 : 2009-03-10 22:46 ID:95VjTrPF

>she didnt go to bed with anyone yet

How can you be sure? You only need 5 minutes alone with someone to have sex.

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12 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-10 22:53 ID:KMj5lQz9

>>8 she didnt like my friends, i stoped going out with them to be with her, these last years we used to go out a lot with her friends.

If this ends i will be left alone, do you understand? I will have 2 or 3 friends, i will almost need to ask them to go out with them!!!

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13 Name: Shades : 2009-03-11 03:13 ID:SloQS1QJ

>>12 yarrr try till the last drop of ur blood. forget the outcome at least u already trying hard.

but seriously there's rarely boy n girl relation going well and advance to serious stage in teenager.

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14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-11 03:16 ID:ITbhiZRO

>>12

I think you just need to get out more, frankly. There are far more girls to date, don't get hung up on one. Like >>11 said, if she would do this to you with no notice whatsoever, get someone better.

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15 Name: jon : 2009-03-11 06:01 ID:r+DGK6AF

I cant even imagine how you must be feeling right now man. I have been fooling around with a girl or 6 months. I thought i was in love with her, she was everything to me. very unwise of me. long story short, she broke my heart. nearly killed me (i'm a very emotional person)

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16 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-11 11:39 ID:rh5mVKJc

Oh man....
She says she's in a new phase in her life. I hate her and love her at the same time.
I will ask her if there is any chance for us.

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17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-11 12:29 ID:CQcyQrWU

>try to make some friends too

That's the spirit! For the rest, forget it, doesn't help you.

18 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-11 19:50 ID:CqpH8b9n

tonight is the night, i'll tell her that i love her but i cant be in this situation anymore. I wont call her again, i wont be with her from now on.

THis will make me understand reality.

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19 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-11 20:53 ID:CqpH8b9n

Oh god....my belly hurts a lot.
I will be meeting her in a couple of hours, im so depressed.

I will buy flowers for her mother with a card saying "get well!", i really liked her family, now they are lost too.

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20 Name: 7 : 2009-03-11 21:34 ID:95VjTrPF

I know it is rough. But stand strong. You are the one in control. Not her. Don't give her flowers, don't give her a card. What did she do to deserve those gifts? She broke your heart, you don't owe anything to her. I would also recommend not meeting her. But if you do meet her this will be the last time. You need to cut off contact. It will help to just cut her out of your life.

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21 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-11 23:48 ID:CqpH8b9n

Just came back....
Told her everything and learned that she went to bed with him, she said she went to bed and said "no" before doing anything. She told me she isnt seeing him anymore.

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22 Name: H-town Stomper : 2009-03-12 01:50 ID:HXyNeD8g

>>21

You should probably stop being so hurt. Emotions are good but you have to be stronger. If you chase they will flee, if you dont care then they will. (But if you flee, then your gay. Nothing wrong with that, but your going after the wrong type.)

23 Name: 7 : 2009-03-12 18:19 ID:95VjTrPF

So she cheats on you, breaks up with you and you bring her flowers?

My friend you had the power, but you just gave up to her. You could have controlled the situation but you didn't.

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24 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-12 18:35 ID:KMj5lQz9

>>7
I didnt gave her flowers, read again. Her mother is very ill, i will give her flowers for her mother. They have nothing to do with me and her.

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25 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-12 18:36 ID:KMj5lQz9

last comment was for >>23, my mistake

26 Name: 7 : 2009-03-12 18:44 ID:95VjTrPF

No.

The flowers weren't for her. But the hugs were for her and you said you would go back to her despite the fact she wronged you.

27 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-12 18:56 ID:KMj5lQz9

>>26

I see i did not explain everything properly.
I did no gave her flowers, she asked me several times for a hug, i said no.

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28 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-13 00:39 ID:KMj5lQz9

Well, talked to her on the internet and then on the phone.
She says we cant be a couple again.
She wants to be my friend, she says im a wonderfull person.

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29 Name: the bear : 2009-03-13 05:23 ID:Uom5G6JS

forget it man. all is lost. like stated posts before mine. you have to fight for your self respect now and regain your confidence.
i recommend getting a way hotter girl. "accidentally" bumping into her with this much hotter girl and make her feel as bad as she made you feel. one way or another. she must find out she wronged the wrong guy and make her realize she lost something way too good for her. forget her man.

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-13 11:11 ID:M+llxTx6

slowly forget about her and move on, to find that someone who actually loves you as much as you do her!
good luck op

31 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-13 12:36 ID:rh5mVKJc

From perfect girl to a painfull memory in a week...

She used to be all alone in school, i got to know her, i made her happy, i made her smile again. We made friends together.

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32 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-13 12:45 ID:rh5mVKJc

also, how can i ever find someone like her? someone who knows me well, someone who likes the same things as i do?

If it ever happens it will take time, a lot of it.

33 Name: Demo_Man : 2009-03-13 14:40 ID:srfEXR+p

>>32

yes, it does take time. Just like me, I thought I found the right girl too. I thought she was very compatible with me. But too bad, she chose another dude over me. Oh well....I bid her farewell.

34 Name: the bear : 2009-03-13 16:12 ID:2EybBdws

just read your posts over again OP and you will see how pathetic you sound. just move on. stop shoving your face into shit by thinking about her. shes nothing.

35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-13 17:19 ID:2p9Ih/xS

Bro, I've been in your situation... and then I did exactly what >>29 suggested. It was hilarious how much my ex flipped her shit, especially when she realized I was no longer pining over her (which hurt her ego badly)! Ha ha!

36 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-13 19:44 ID:UjjRwgSv

I'll try to go out with some friends, even ask to go out with them, be friends again.
For the time being im not going to say anything to her.

37 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-14 08:57 ID:gU3uIm8i

I've been thinking.
She says she "thinks" she doesnt love me.
She says that maybe she is making the biggest mistake of her life.
She says she still has all my photos on her bedroom wall.

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38 Name: Demo_Man : 2009-03-14 15:48 ID:srfEXR+p

>>37

I think she wanted you to be the one who breaks the relationship. This way, she won't get the blame and she won't feel guilty about it.

39 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-14 17:53 ID:gU3uIm8i

>>38
that cant be, she told me "i want to break up".

40 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-15 03:13 ID:LdjnOO1y

>>39
Maybe she just wants you to feel bad or jealous or something? Regardless, if she really thought she was making a mistake, she wouldn't have done it. For your own sake, OP, you need to stay away from her.

41 Name: the bear : 2009-03-15 06:59 ID:Uom5G6JS

stop thinking about what she said. because it doesnt matter man., the bottom line is she said she wanted to break up. thats it. stop thinking about it. just move on OP

42 Name: Demo_Man : 2009-03-15 15:03 ID:srfEXR+p

>>39

Sorry to say this OP, but i have the urge to say ...."What a bitch!"

43 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-15 16:38 ID:bkJ5V1Lq

Yes, my problem is, how can a girl go from a perfect person to a bitch in a matter of days?

44 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-15 17:11 ID:CQcyQrWU

>>43

I don't think she's being a bitch. On the contrary, I think she has honestly tried not to hurt you too much. But seems like you are not ready to let her politely go, and won't release her until things get ugly.

45 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-15 20:00 ID:Heaven

>>7

I agree with everything, except for your taste in music.
I'd have to say Ooh La La by the Faces is a better song for the situation.

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46 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-15 20:53 ID:bkJ5V1Lq

>>44

She tell's me she wants to break up. We break up.
I ask why, i ask if she still loves me, she says she "thinks" she doesnt. Then she tells me that i was a perfect boyfriend, that maybe letting me go is going to be the biggest mistake of her life. She tells me my photos are still on her wall.

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47 Name: 7 : 2009-03-16 06:17 ID:LGSNRNMP

>>45

Thanks. I prefer gangsta rap because it is stupid and senseless. But it is all preference really.

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48 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-16 06:49 ID:yAijgYuR

>>46 it may be strange and confusing, but it's nothing new, I have already seen it happening several times.

The issue is that she has outgrown your relationship, which did not satisfy her anymore, but has not found yet what she needs for herself, hence her hesitations.

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49 Name: Demo_Man : 2009-03-16 14:01 ID:srfEXR+p

Sad_One,

Do something to keep you occupied. I think I've told you how I moved on, if not, I'll say it again. I eat, sleep, play games, watch movies, go out with cousins and friends and watch porn.

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50 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-18 14:47 ID:rfXtIHGu

sad_one

Your story shakes my soul with memories of yesterday... it is not at all dissimilar from yours.

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51 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-18 17:56 ID:jFd1nNDc

Didn't really bother reading most of this comments here.

Here's the advice I give anyone who wants to get back together after a breakup. And this advice is almost, always ignored.

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52 Name: sad_one : 2009-03-18 23:17 ID:Fh6xKsfr

Today i gave her flower for her mother that is very ill.
She said it was a very noble gesture.

I told her i still love her but i cant wait for her, she said she is confused, she isnt sure if she loves me or not.

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53 Name: 7 : 2009-03-19 04:13 ID:+QgKTE8d

>Lets see where this leads me, to loneliness or to her comeback.

Neither. In a short time you will be happy again. Just take it one day at a time.

54 Name: Demo_Man : 2009-03-19 08:55 ID:srfEXR+p

>>53
I agree!

>>52

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55 Name: sad_on : 2009-03-29 19:48 ID:ojgfcTU5

my life has been shit...

56 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-03-31 21:02 ID:Z3sn99Vf

>>55

Okay, dude, are you going to take our advice or not? Because if you're not, shut up and don't complain to us as you wallow in your own misery.

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57 Name: Same here : 2009-04-03 01:48 ID:Ty/TwzyC

The best thing you can do is move on. Distract yourself. Keep in mind you're 4 years older than her, start acting like it. When she's around you treat her like an inferior, not harshly mind you but in a teasing way. DISTRACT DISTRACT DISTRACT DISTRACT. Key words, and you'll be over her in no time.
The one thing I can tell you from personal experience is not to be hopeful. Everything she does should mean nothing to you, don't read into anything.

58 Name: sad_one : 2009-04-03 16:49 ID:ojgfcTU5

I asked her if she would be able to never hear from me again, never see me again, never hear my voice again, see my smile...
She said no...

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59 Name: sad_one : 2009-04-03 23:38 ID:ojgfcTU5

ok guys, talked to a LOT of people about my problem.
I wont call her back, i wont contact her in any way.
I'll try to live my life...

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60 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-04 02:37 ID:mTKFB64D

Fuck Just Fucking STOP!!! Your acting lick a bitch. When I first read your thread I felt bad for you because I know heart break. But this is too much. SHE DOESNT WANT YOU. Stop letting her dominate your life. I really hope you’re a troll because if this is how you actually are I don’t see how you can get anywhere in life. GOD. Grow some balls and find someone else. Even if she did come back why would you want her? Just forget her and move on!!!

61 Name: sad_one : 2009-04-04 12:03 ID:ojgfcTU5

Dont be a fucking idiot, what do you know about her?
Do you know what a 3 year relationship is? HOw can i fucking forget so quickly??

Besides, she told me she was confused, she couldnt erase me from her life.

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62 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-04 16:33 ID:yxDBW+ue

You're 22? Really? I find that hard to believe. You're acting more around the 15-ish range.

Either grow the fuck up or get the fuck out. You're obviously not listening to us anyway.

63 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-04 20:10 ID:Heaven

Ditch the bitch.

64 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-04 23:11 ID:Heaven

>>62
Amen.

This thread has gone on too long. If you're gonna keep being miserable, go away until you actually want to listen to our advice.

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65 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-05 20:04 ID:mTKFB64D

>>62
>>64
Thank you

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66 Name: sad_one : 2009-04-05 21:46 ID:ojgfcTU5

My plan is "not talking to her anymore, real life or internet". Of course i will never forget her, its impossible, but im not saying im going to wait for her, ill try to meet other girls, going out with friends, do sports, etc.

67 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-05 22:20 ID:SGaGbZc7

It'll be hard, but just cut all ties. No contact, whatsoever. You won't forget her - a relationship that long when you're so young will stay with you for the rest of your life, and you will compare all girls to her standard from now on. There is no way around this, there is no sugarcoating it. It sucks. That's hard, but that's life. You'll learn to live with it - this happens to every guy (except the retards that marry the first girl they fall in love with). It's a tough lesson, but you'll be stronger for it. But that's what being a man is about.

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