To begin in a blunt, direct way: I'm asexual.
And by this (for the uninformed ones) I mean I have no sexual feelings at all. I am not sexually atracted to anyone. This complicates a lot of things. It makes me a tiny bit more anti-social than a normal shy person...and relationships are a big NO, since obviously the partner ends up being sexual and sex eventually gets in the way.
You have two distinct problems, but they boil down to the same thing: it is commendable to stay true to your nature, but the same applies to other people. Attraction between a homossexual and a heterossexual always ends in disaster. We even have a name for people for which it can work: bissexuals. The same applies for (a)sexuality.
Yeah, you can't 'convert' or change someone's sexuality. That's something you're born with. Also, it would be downright GROTESQUE (have a heart) to try to restrict someone's sexuality just because you're asexual. So like the previous poster said find other asexuals.
You're both right, it wouldn't be fair for both parties to restrict each other's nature.
I don't know what go into me, I guess It's been a difficult phase. Not so difficult as it was when I didn't know about my asexuality of course. But now I see limits everywhere, although I already felt them but never really thought they existed...and now..well, I'm lost.
>>4 Good luck in your quest, and remember, we are billions, so whatever your tastes, there will be people to cater for them. And it's not like you need thousands of gf...
> I have no sexual feelings at all
> and we eventually kiss
you know what? you can contribute to society by giving yourself to a random hikkikomori dude. fuck lesbi, you could in fact make another man happy.
yep you definitely have sexual feelings
I don't mean to call you a liar, but I'm extremely suspicious of people that call themselves 'asexual.' Usually, they just haven't been 'sexually awakened' or met the right person. True asexuality is very rare.
>>9 just like lesbians are girls who didn't meet the right guy, eh?
Just let her describe herself as assexual. After all, that's what she concluded about herself, and that by itself is significant. Flatly denying it won't bring much. Even if later she turns out to enjoy sex (just like a girl turns out to behave bisexually, even though she declares herself lesbian now), it's important that this is how she feels now.
Find an asexual relationship. There are websites for asexuals who are after asexuals. Even if you don't find the right person there at least you could finds friends and people who'll understand your problem.
in my experience, the terms 'heterosexual' and 'homosexual' are irrelevant and meaningless. people are very rarely attracted to only one sex (or race!), and their preferences are just as varied as their individualities. if you think she's 'hetero,' don't let that stop you. people fall in love with people, not their genitals. i've 'converted' (more like awakened them to explore other possibilities) more than my fair share of women, so i speak from experience. not saying it'll work for sure; she may have been programmed from a young age to reject homosexuality, and then you'll be up against something larger than you can probably tackle, but just be yourself and get to know her. once you become good friends and develop a strong sense of trust, you can let her know you like her (or that you may like girls) and see what happens. by that stage, she should like you enough not to hurt your feelings by cutting you out of her life or saying something cruel, and she may feel the same way or at least be open to experimenting. who knows, maybe once you get to know her better, or once you try it out, you may realize she's not for you. good luck.
Not fair to go after anyone that is not also asexual, simply a recipe for disappointment, but it sounds like you know this, so fair enough.