Return - Entire thread - Last 10 posts

confused about a girl (7)


1 Name: confused brother type : 2009-04-24 06:01 ID:Etc88GM4

so there is a girl that I have taken care of since she was a kid and she's like a little sister to me but she recently about two months ago says she fell in love with me...she is 17 and i'm 26. I have no interest in her whatsoever romantically but she won't back off. Her mother expects me to take care of her and i'm so close to her family that I know I cannot just abandon her as a family figure, but at the same time she purposely tries to get in the way of my girlfriends and I, and she gets ultra jealous and I know that she will get in serious trouble if her mother were to find out how she has been acting, so I don't want to tell her mother because she will probably never trust me again. She also has a tendency to go into a seriously deep state of depression at the mere mention of my girlfriend. She is rapidly becoming unhealthy to herself, and I don't know how to help her...any ideas??

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-24 07:26 ID:vH/OLGI8

>I have no interest in her whatsoever romantically

That's the most important bit. If you remain clear on that, then things can't go too wrong. There's nothing worse than someone sending mixed signals, it can drive the other person insane.

Entire post...

3 Name: confused brother type : 2009-04-24 08:15 ID:Etc88GM4

>>2 I've told her that my friend and that is the part that is killing me. She doesn't care. She has said the only thing she can do is try her best to hate me. This is a very difficult solution for me to except because she KNOWS she is like my little sister to me and I have this nesessity I feel to protect her...and in this situation if it were to play out that way, I will feel an emptiness from not being able to take care of her. I have several other younger sisters "real ones" and am so used to being the big brother so losing her as my sister is an extremely last resort that i'm hoping I don't have to accept. ahhhh!!

4 Name: confused brother type : 2009-04-24 08:15 ID:Etc88GM4

>>2 I've told her that my friend and that is the part that is killing me. She doesn't care. She has said the only thing she can do is try her best to hate me. This is a very difficult solution for me to except because she KNOWS she is like my little sister to me and I have this nesessity I feel to protect her...and in this situation if it were to play out that way, I will feel an emptiness from not being able to take care of her. I have several other younger sisters "real ones" and am so used to being the big brother so losing her as my sister is an extremely last resort that i'm hoping I don't have to accept. ahhhh!!

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-24 13:26 ID:vH/OLGI8

>>3 You'll have to let her hate you, that's part of the distanciation process I was mentioning. Don't worry, once she recovered from this infatuation, she'll also stop "hating" you, even though she may not be as close as she was before.

6 Name: confused brother type : 2009-04-26 16:53 ID:Etc88GM4

>>3 Thanks...I know in my heart you are right...it's just a very difficult thing to accept and even press for, someone you've kept in your heart as a sibling your entire life hating you isn't the easiest of things to deal with...but there's no question that I agree with your solution...

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-04-27 13:43 ID:j7F0a1ne

>>6 Don't worry, she won't really hate you, but it will still be a change in attitude nonetheless. I guess now you are primed for songs like "everybody's changing" of Keane, and same minded nostalgia filled music ^_^