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3 month limit... dating bad luck. How can I stop it!? (14)


1 Name: Payton : 2009-06-05 00:40 ID:wYEOZWNg

So here's the deal, I was a late bloomer when it came to dating and anything physical with the opposite sex where I grew up at least. I guess you could say I first "dated" someone when I was about 18 and a half. Now that's a long story that lasted, wait for it... 3 months. I knew the guy for a year before and we hated each other. Suddenly things started to change and we actually hung out with mutual friends. The story there is I fell in love, he was my first, and it was all in all, a fairly screwed up situation. He was 9 years older than me and an alcoholic and I still shake my head in disbelief at the situation I had put myself in. I think about how naive i had been. Afterwards, I dated a guy who had a fairly low opinion of women (even though he himself was a wannabe pretty boy who spent most of his time in his parent's basement playing WoW) another one of those

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-05 03:51 ID:Heaven

Please do use some more air in your next post.

tl;dr - No relationship OP has been in lasted longer than three months, OP is afraid the same will happen again with current relationship.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-05 04:37 ID:FuYfY35R

umm.. dear op.. im sorry to hear.. please aware us of what are the main reasons you break up with guise?

4 Name: Payton : 2009-06-05 11:16 ID:wYEOZWNg

Sorry fore the lack of air in the first post haha I tend to be a very busy person so i try to get as much down as possible...

The man reason I break up with guys? Being continuously disappointed I suppose, but that may be because I have high hopes. The last two guys lied alot, about stupid things even, and when I would catch them in it, I was wrong. I know I have commitment issues, I don't like being restricted, and alot (not all) of guys seem to get very possessive and clingy. I'll admit, when they start doing this I tend to unconciously find things I don't like about them and get irritated when I'm around them after a while. I don't open up very well either to people.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-05 13:39 ID:QmGmoLjG

how do you get along with girls?

It might help us establish whether you have a problem with people in general or just dudes.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-05 13:40 ID:QmGmoLjG

oh and how is your relationship with your dad?

Are there any daddy issues?

7 Name: Payton : 2009-06-05 16:14 ID:wYEOZWNg

I get along with guys pretty well, and girls I'm pretty awkward around, with the exception of my two closest friends. But that may be because alot of girls and women I've been around are kind of vicious. My dad and I get along for the most part, I'm very protective of him. He's has a few kids, and we didn't grow up together due to their stepmother and our age difference. I'll admit, I used to be very angry with him, but I was also angry at everyone in my entire family for a good year or so.

8 Name: Ryuuchi : 2009-06-05 19:36 ID:muFB08i9

Your story is interesting to me so I don't think it's pathetic.

Hey, let's try dating together? Although, I might be just another guy who you've been dated for at least three months. However, knowing about this I would break your record not by just breaking it but actually date you on my part.

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9 Name: Payton : 2009-06-05 20:31 ID:wYEOZWNg

Ah, I know one thing I'm afraid of is losing my freedom and my pride in my independence. I've accomplish alot on my own and don't really like working with people very often unless I know they are dependable. I want to be spoiled and taken care of secretly but i have a hard time letting someone do that. The guy I'm currently with takes me out to eat and pays for me almost every single time, and it makes me uncomfortable at time because I feel like I'm taking advantage of him. If I pay for him, he gets uncomfortable and tells me the way he was raised, this is very wrong.

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10 Name: Ryuuchi : 2009-06-05 20:56 ID:muFB08i9

Getting in a relationship can be hard and if you want to be in a relationship while you want to do the things you want to do, you need to be honest with your boyfriend/girlfriend. To be frankful to someone you are being with can hurt sometimes but it's for the best. Communication is the best when it comes to serious relationships. Talking things out, you know?

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-06 00:56 ID:LHPCMtnd

>>9
do you feel like this throughout the relationship or only towards the end because if you feel this way in the begining it sounds like you aren't really dating for love or anything it's confusing do you love these people or do you just date them out of boredom or for support. If you love them and they love you then you should both respect and allow each other to have thier own freedoms is doing something you like or want to do together with another person so terrible. the only things that are really taken away are the ability to date other people and why would that be a big deal if you really care about the person you are with now? I guess I'm not understanding what you are saying. You shouldn't feel like you are taking advantage of him because he only does it to show you he cares. feeling bad about it is like feeling bad about him liking you. It's also strange you say you have commitment issues while also saying you joined the armed forces which is a huge freedom restricting commitment if I ever heard one.

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12 Name: Payton : 2009-06-06 03:48 ID:wYEOZWNg

When start liking someone, I date them because I like them, not out of boredom. I understand how that can be confusing, since I am also fairly lost myself at time... ^.^; right. When I look back on my past relationships, I don't regret breaking up with them, but it hurts me whenever I had to. I don't like hurting people, it makes me very anxious. So every single time I would wonder why I got my hopes up again, since it feels like whenever I get involved with someone, it starts out good, then gets very complicated and bad stuff starts happening. I honestly feel like my karma is so out of balance, the people around me are affected by it.

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13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-06 19:24 ID:Da+AAfM6

It seems to me you are very quick to go into a relationship, and don't really take the time to get to know and evaluate the other party. It's kind of let's try and see how it works.

Looks like for you it does not work. So I suggest you take more of your time to get to know the guys you are interested in, and only make a move after you have cleared some obvious red flags (alcoholic, mysoginist, etc).

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14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-06-07 09:00 ID:FuYfY35R

what >>13 said