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I Messed up royally (4)


1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-07-05 21:22 ID:8wmpI8MJ

So i've known this girl for close to 7 or 8 years but we were never really close until about 4 years or so when we started really talking and hanging out a lot. Heres where it gets bad. So the year after we started hanging out I got my wisdom teeth out (bear with me). I had been harboring a major crush on her for the last year and really didn't have the courage to ask her out. That was until i popped a few Percosets for the pain in my teeth. Then i got the idea that I should just call her and ask her out (barely able to make words let alone sentences). So i call her and I actually talked pretty normal until I began to really begin to feel the effects of the pills, then the conversation gets kind of cloudy and all i can remember is that I kept talking about applesauce, weed and sex. So the next week that i go back to school I have to completely avoid her and stuff, all because i feel utterly embarrassed at my actions. Fast forward 2 years, after months of self loathing etc I finally decided to give up on it and that theres no way i could salvage my relationship with her. I tried dating a few girls, some good some not (what are you going to do though). But all the while I always had the nagging feeling in the back of my head that if I hadn't messed up back then we could of had something. But it was always a passing feeling until a few days ago when I decided to create a facebook profile because my friends pressured me into doing it. Anyway so i'm just sitting there on my freshly created profile when after only 3 HOURS of my profile being on I get a friend request from her. Now i don't know the implications of finding people on facebook but you do have to be looking for someone to add them as a friend. So I've decided to give it one more chance with her and try to use this opportunity to salvage what we had. The only problem is i have no idea how to even BEGIN to talk to her or explain my past actions. I can't really talk to my friends because they'll just call me a pussy for worrying about a chick i liked 3 years ago, so I figured i'd ask you guys. Sorry for the paragraphs of text but its complicated and I really need help

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-07-05 23:25 ID:2jB4wsfH

Well, just don't over-interpret it, but it's true that it's a good thing that she contacted you. Just try to get to know her better, do things with her, and be a bit more confident.

With the baggage you describe, you at least know that you care for this girl, so just go for it, no more excuses. As for the mess up, don't worry about it, it was a long time ago, consider that the slab is clean and don't agonize over petty things.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-07-06 11:47 ID:OLR5uo/i

Yeah, don't over interpret the facebook add. Some people will add anyone and everyone who've they've breathed the same air with.
I think though, this is an opportunity to re-introduce yourself into her life. Start off really lightly, so as to not creep her out. Begin with thanking her for adding you, and then asking her how she's been, and other pleasantries. Then, when you feel the time is right, you can apologise and explain your past actions, and hopefully she'll let you start on a clean slate. I wouldn't admit your feelings to her until you've really gotten past the awkward re-intro phase.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-07-07 08:02 ID:jvCs9kPp

What exactly is the problem? This sounds to me like a golden opportunity. Talk to her a bit, see how things are with her, then try to go to a cafe or something so you can catch up with a nice ambience and some coffee. Don't demand her whole night-- If she wants to keep talking, she'll stay.

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