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Past failures paralyze me from doing anything (4)

1 Name: ÖP : 2009-07-26 21:57 ID:BfYctK1D

Hey Romance, my problems is as follows

I'm not really as shy overall as I am in the love department (or maybe I am shy overall but have been doing the whole fake it till you make it thing for far too long). Anyway, in the past I was doing some advances on girls (admittedly, in very naive ways), but nowadays I somehow completely freeze up to the point where I can think of several occasions where I could have gotten laid but I danced around the issue and had some strange excuses.

Thing is, I had tried to fuck a girl once, but she broke down crying because she was molested by her father in the past and as you can imagine, that pretty much killed my sex drive for her. But I met her again a couple of months later, we wanted to try sex then again and I STILL couldn't get my dick up, which was really embarassing. Then, with a random other girl, met her at a bar while partying, we went over to her place and when it came time to fucking I couldn't get an erection AGAIN!

At this point it got kinda embarassing so I went to check with an urologist, he checked everything, my dick works fine (I also get random erections and rockhard wood while grinding in discos or when thinking about, just when it comes time to do the did I fail) and gave me some medicaments which are kinda like viagra. I once took 1 of those pills and went into a brothel to try and fuck a hooker. I fucked her, it was sorta weird and clumsy, but my dick was just half-hard again.

Fuck, these whole past experiences are completely locking me up. I mean, fuck that I'm a sorta virgin or inexperienced, no one would care about that as long as my dick would be standing then the girls would get their pleasure, but now I just pretty much am afraid to fail (and worse, if those girls would talk to their friends and some of my old friends will hear it). Now I pretty much avoid girls who have contact with my circle of friends lest I have to make another excuse why I don't want to fuck.

I know that it's a dumb case of vicious cycle and I just have to not think about it and it should then come naturally but fuck man, I tried to let go, you know? Sober, drunk, high, with that magic pill, and my dick is still failing me. And just this little fear has ingrained itself so hard into my brain that it leeks into every area of my life man. I've got to somehow get rid of this shit and then I'll be Awesome McFuckYeah.

tl;dr couldn't get it up, now I'm mentally crippled

What do you think, what can I do about it? Just fuck a couple more hookers till I'm confident, then pick up a random girl, fuck her successfully, gain confidence and then enjoy life?