...so I can solve it.
I can't keep it up with a condom on. I also can't find LSD or other synthetic drugs except for online, and shipping takes forever.
I have AIDS.
>I can't keep it up with a condom on.
Buy Viagra or equivalent.
> I have AIDS.
Go see a doctor, and start a chronic antiretroviral treatment
I have no penis.
I wasnt motivated to train for this half marathon and now i already must kick it on sunday..
oh boy, just tell me if i will survive.. that's all!!!
>I have no penis.
Use your fingers and tongue.
>I wasnt motivated to train for this half marathon and now i already must kick it on sunday..
>oh boy, just tell me if i will survive.. that's all!!!
Failing my study but dont feel like working harder.
Dont know when the best time to confess
>Failing my study but dont feel like working harder.
Join or organize a study group.
I created a miniature black hole in my backyard but instead of evaporating quickly as theorized it's growing at an exponential rate and will soon consume the earth.
>I created a miniature black hole [...] and will soon consume the earth.
Earth will not be consumed.
The function f(x) satisfies two properties:
(i) f(x + y) + f(x - y) = 2[f(x) + f(y)], and
(ii) f(1) = 1.
>What is f(22/7) ?
The Oracle is not a remedial class, so ask you teacher to explain you why f(22/7) = (22/7)^2
I have lost it.
>I have lost it.
If you still need it, you will find or replace it.
I can't will myself to fix my problems.
>I can't will myself to fix my problems.
Burn the bridges, so that you have no choice but to fix them.
I burnt the bridges, but now the town is cut of from it's food supply and I'm wanted for arson, reckless endangerment and terrorism.
>I burnt the bridges, [...] I'm wanted for arson, reckless endangerment and terrorism.
Surrender to the authorities, and explain that you were following the Oracle's instructions.
O great oracle, I humbly kneel before thee to seek advice, perhaps even consolation in regards to a problem which plagues me. I have a deep need to be admired by the opposite sex, and it doth strike me much pain to not receive such affections. Moreover, it has occurred to me that I also wish to find a person suitable for me to... what would the youth call of it.., may'haps court? Though yet I wish more than courting if such a suitable person is found.
>Does the non tangible concept known as love really exist?
There is not a non tangible concept of love, but there are a multitude of experiences of loving.
what is love
and what is a man
>what is love and what is a man
The Oracle solves problems, and will only wax philosophical for the purpose of addressing them.
>baby don't hurt me
The Oracle won't hurt you.
Oh oracle oracle on the wall.. wait wut...
do i have potentail? :)
>do i have potentail?
You have potential, but won't be able to unlock it until you commit yourself to act consistently upon your interests.
I have this problem. I actually like this girl who happens to be my neighbour back in my country. I liked her since we were young. Anyway, I had to move to another country and I've been living for 10 years, away from my home country. We didn't really communicate with each other. Only recently, we started chatting on the Internet and I realize I like her because she's pretty and that's it. I have no idea about her personality. So the question is, should I go for it or ditch it? I'm afraid long distance relationship won't work.
>I'm afraid long distance relationship won't work.
Long distance relationships only work if contact is frequent and regular, and if there is a common agreement that the long term goal is to live together.
I'm sorry for the long post but you did ask....
I am actively blocking people off at a subconscious level despite being able to communicate fine with them. It seems my body is trying to kill me(or at least make me want to kill me) or make someone else kill me. I have felt in the past four months or so more anger and resentment towards other people than I can remember. I feel like whenever I’m behind someone sitting in front of me or passing them on the street a strong desire to strangle them or punch them in the face or push them into a moving car really just any act of unrestrained uncalled for violence even though I am not capable of doing so. This is all very contrary to how I normally act I am quiet and can’t help but be nice to people but this growing sense of violence worries me a lot. Its also being reflected in how I interact with my friends I will insult them and ignore them even when they are the only people I have to talk to(all three of them)I also have been avoiding them recently. Something in me is trying to ruin my life it’s like my flight or fight switch is stuck in flight I’m just running away in an extreme way maybe. Or I could just be blaming all my problems and failures on something that doesn’t exist to lessen the bouts of anger and sadness directed at myself for doing stupid things. Like maybe I am just throwing a pity party for myself or maybe I am throwing a pity party for throwing a pity party.
>I don’t get it this feeling I don’t understand it. It’s like I’m falling apart.There is a problem deep in yourself that is not being addressed, and it is slowly rotting the rest of your mind. The symptoms you describe are secondary, and trying to control them, while necessary, will only buy you time until other symptoms develop. Get assistance from professionals (and checking more than one might be a good idea). Because this problem is so central to your life, you should also self-educate on it. Start by reading on attachment disorders, an example of early psychological injury that can lead to mood disorders, violence and other symptoms.
I'm in my mid 20's and have no dating experience. I'm quite confident I can sweep a woman off her feet but only afterwards, and I have proof of this. This isn't a fabrication. You see, I have trouble getting past the screening process. I think I just blew it with the most amazing, wonderful, beautiful woman I have ever met. I don't want to miss out on her. I want to get to know her better. I want to make her smile. I want to be a part of her life. But I have little hope that will happen now. I'm going to tell her how I feel and be done with it.
>I'm going to tell her how I feel and be done with it.
Do that only if you want to liquidate this story: your chances are not nil, but low. A more reliable way is to get to know her better, so that you can find ways of spending time together having fun. Once you get her to spend time with you, it's a matter of doing more and more things that couples do, until gradually you become a couple.
>Should I just contact her then to see how she's doing, pretend that nothing's wrong?
No. The girl you are interested in is shy, insecure, and with a compulsive need to be in control. She uses the phone, mail and internet to firewall herself against others. Insisting to use those means when she's blocking you will at best inconvenience her, or worse make her panic. Never leave more than one unanswered mail or voicemail. Better yet, realize that she's not using those channels in a normal way, so rely less on them.
Shy, yes. Insecure, probably. Controlling, well she doesn't seem like the control freak type, but what do I know? I dislike control freaks, but I need more confirmation than just this.
>...without her knowing would be crossing that stalker line
The boundary between courting and stalking is blurry, but make sure not to come off the wrong side of the line. Your intuition is correct, however you must not lazily stop at the first conclusion, but react to it: if you're joining an event to which she takes part, it's because you have a reason to be there, so it's your job to find out which one it is, or engineer it. Same goes for an event that you organize. You organize an event to which she takes place because you did your homework and know that she comes to this type of meet ups, or has a reason to do so (hint: birthday parties). No live contact, no girl: this is where the buck stops, hence the beginning of your thinking.
We had our first meeting at my friend's party. She invited her. It was very convenient and non-threatening. I saw her again at an event she participated in over the summer, and I had told her I was coming, but she didn't get the message, so she was surprised to see me but didn't seem creeped out or frightened. She told me to come to the next one and I did. I brought a flower each time, which she received well. The second time was around her birthday, so cause she took the flower well, I got a card, the most non-threating, non-intimidating card I could find, with the most neutral message inside. I haven't seen her since though. That was about two months ago. I guess I'll need to find an event at her school, but there's no way to tell if she's going to be going to anything other than asking her, and you said not to contact her. Do you see my dilemma Oracle? That is why I have sought you out. My friend has seen her once on campus, and I don't know anyone the girl may associate with at school.
>Do you see my dilemma Oracle?
The Oracle has spoken. Barring new developments, it has nothing further to add.
I understand, thank you for your wisdom Oracle.
I have contacted her friend to find out how long she isolates herself and to see if the girl has shared anything with her friend about me. Maybe this will give me a better idea of my next course of action, or maybe she can help me out, since she actually associates with her. I understand the risks of discussing things with the friend. It is always dangerous territory. Although, it's possible I insulted the friend, as I expressed hesitation when she wanted to add me on Facebook, citing stalker territory. I did however eventually add her and apologized for my rudeness.
My boyfriend is very insecure about his own abilities. He keeps insisting that we shouldn't be together because I'm smarter than him, etc. (and he refuses to believe me or anyone else when they tell him he's very talented himself). He says that he's born that way and that he won't change, even if he's wrong. Is there anything I can do to help him?
Is there anything I can do to help him?
Besides discussing with your boyfriend about the causes and misconceptions behind his problems, the best way to help him is to accompany him and discuss on the subjects where he feels insecure.
Thank you for your advice. But just one thing: could you give an example of a "different approach"?
(Note: Unfortunately, he's already started the habit of attacking me. Fun times.)
>could [the Oracle] give an example of a "different approach"?
What is your current approach? Also, by different approach the Oracle means communication approaches. The general strategy remains the same, as long as the problem does not change.
Oracle the game has changed. Should i start killing people instead of beating the shit of out of them. The system doesn't work even moon knight has become a pussy me rip off. What do i do?
What do i do?
Oracle, I'm 25, single, handsome and tall. I want to get rid of my singlehood, but I am attracted to women much older or much younger: 35 and 16. What do?
and what do you do when the source of this self deception is a defense mechanism to someONE in their life?
>I want to get rid of my singlehood, but I am attracted to women much older or much younger: 35 and 16. What do?
Unless you want to father ten kids, you are much better off going for older women: sex is better, since women's libido increases in their thirties, not to mention that they are more casual and experienced. It could take years for a teen to feel comfortable doing stuff that older women will immediately accept or even suggest. Courtship is also easier, since you don't have to deal with curfews or overbearing parents.
>what do you do when the source of this self deception is a defense mechanism to someONE in their life[...], especially if they're family
What you really want to avoid is to have a conflict with your partner about his family. If it comes to chose between you and the family, you're likely to lose. So you should not antagonize this person in the family as a whole, but counter specifically the aspect of her influence that annoys you, while displaying acceptance of the person herself.
This guy I like is quite tall. He keeps making fun of my height affectionately, but nonetheless making me feel like a kid.
Is being too short unattractive? I'm probably a good 30cm shorter..
>Is being too short unattractive?
There are no rules, some men actually prefer shorter partners, others not.
Orcale, this is >>40. I contacted her friend asking about the hiding and she sent me a response. I might've irked her a little bit, implying games were being played with me, as her tone seemed a little defensive, but this could be easily misinterpreted, as it's just text. She said don't misunderstand her, the girl doesn't play games. She's not like that. She's not mean. I sent a response apologizing if I offended her and attempted to normalize relations by starting general conversation.
Thanks Oracle. I'm not entirely convinced that he sees me as even a potential candidate, but I have a little more hope.
>I also contacted the girl.
Did you actually speak with her? From your report, sounds like it was a monolog.
Sorry, I wasn't specific, Oracle. No I didn't speak to her. I sent her a Facebook message. That might actually get through though. The content of the message starts with this in my previous post.
Oh Great Oracle, I have come from the projects to seek your advice. I’m 21 and have been single my whole life. Every time I showed interest in a girl I got shot down. This semester I figured it would be more of the same shit so I was planning to avoid romance all together and level up some. To my surprise though there was one girl that I could not seem to ignore. She sat in the corner by herself doing whatever things she was doing behind her computer screen. She spent most of the class with head phones on and talked to no body. This class we have meets only once a week so I have only seen her for about five days now. For the first two days my interest in her was only a mild curiosity with no real intentions behind it. However on the third day I decided for whatever reasons to great her when she entered the room. To my surprise she returned the greeting with a smile. After this I became more intrigued. The next class I managed to make small asides and jokes with her during class and she laughed and seemed happy. When class ended we left at about the same time so I struck up a small conversation about the completed work and we went our separate ways. Yesterday was day five and by then I had realized that I was interested in her. I decided to get bold and changed my seat to sit next to her. To my luck she was not put off. Throughout the class we talked about our ambitions, made small talk, and consulted each other on the work we were doing. When class ended we once again walked to the parking lot together talking about jobs. As we parted ways I confirmed that I knew her name and she told me to just use the shortened version.
>I don’t know where to go from here.
Your priority now should be to get to know her as well as possible, and create good times together. You should learn what are her activities, hobbies, centers of interest and values. As you get to know her better, turn this info into new ways of meeting her, doing things with her. Does she like a certain style of music/film/book? Lend her something of yours that you think she would like, or go to a concert or jazz-bar, etc.
I went to the event with my friend, and while we were getting a bite to eat, she saw the girl and told her I was with her and to go say hi. We only got to talk for about 5 minutes, cause she was going somewhere, but it was worth it. I was kind of nervous around her. She made an observation that I'm a little OCD, as I spilled my drink when I went to hug her and reacted like I just spilled hers. She says she's doing OK, and when she asked about me, she mocked my answer but in a flirty sort of way, so then I elaborated that I'm looking for a better job.
For a project in one of my classes I am Planing to take a trip to To DC for the day to take some pictures. She is not in this class, but I thought I might invite her to come with me. Do you think its to soon to try something like this. I think it would show that I'm interested in her but I'm afraid its a bit to soon for a move like this. I figured i would take some pictures of the mall and visit some museums.
>What does the Oracle think?
She seems to be in a good disposition, so turn that goodwill into more opportunities to meet her. The show seems to be a good lead.
>For a project in one of my classes I am Planing to take a trip to To DC for the day to take some pictures. [...] I thought I might invite her to come with me. [Does the Oracle] think its to soon to try something like this.
Definitely give it a shot. Don't be disappointed or discouraged if she refuses, no harm will come out of that. While discussing the trip, be open to her explicit or implicit opinions about what to see or to do.
so i have a girlfriend. she is shaped like a real woman not a poster woman. by which i mean she has normal and very real curves that drive me nuts while at the same time not being the unattainable model of perfection the media assaults us with.
Hey Oracle, good to see you could take a break from helping me get the Amulet of Yendor to help people out with their relationship troubles. You may not recognize me, I was the last fifty-seven guys to come by your place and offer varying amounts of money for bits of advice.
>all i am looking for is some advice or some tips i can use to further my trying to get her enough confidence to finally believe that A) i love to see her naked and B)finally believe that she is very good looking.
>Hey Oracle, good to see you could take a break from helping me get the Amulet of Yendor to help people out with their relationship troubles. You may not recognize me, I was the last fifty-seven guys to come by your place and offer varying amounts of money for bits of advice
Oh Oracle. Due to her having to work on weekends the DC trip was a no go. She did not seem put off buy the invitation so I am planing to ask her to do something smaller. With regards to this I have a few questions.
>Firstly, Should I invite her out the next time I see her next week or would that be to soon?
Go ahead, it won't be too soon.
i've had feelings for a friend of mine for about two years, he found this out last weekiend. he said he's always had a soft spot for me and thinks about me a lot but he has been all hung up on this other girl for a couple months now, so typical love triangle situation...
what i want to know is, is this going anywhere? and if not, how can i move on? because i've tried distancing myself from him and rebound but it hasnt worked!
>he said he's always had a soft spot for me and thinks about me a lot but he has been all hung up on this other girl for a couple months now, so typical love triangle situation...
What has prevented him from making a move on her?
I'm in love with this girl, A. Things been going smoothly until recently there's this female friend, B, had a personal problem. As a good friend i went to console her. After the incident, our relationship became better.
The problem is when i'm alone, i think of B. However when both of them is around, i totally focus on A. I'm totally confuse by myself. Oh great one, please give me your guidance.
>Oh great one, please give me your guidance.
Contrary to common belief, to love a person is no antidote against falling in love with someone else. Unless you are in an open relationship, this will put you in a tough spot and bring you to make some difficult choices. If you ambition to entertain a long term and stable relationship, you might as well learn to deal efficiently with these type of situations, because they will present themselves to you more than once.
he did, and there was an intimate situation between them under the influence of alcohol, but she didn't want anything to do with him after that
If a guy likes you, would they talk about breasts and bikini babes to/in front of you? Is this the female version of friendzonage?
Just to clarify; I am a girl. Although I suppose that doesn't really matter.
>Is this the female version of friendzonage?
Pretty much so. It suggests that at the moment he's not trying to seduce you (unless he has a very clumsy way of attempting it). However, it does not mean that he does not like you, or that he could not develop an interest for you. But unless you take some form of initiative, probably nothing will happen in the near future.
>Is this the female version of friendzonage?
The advantage with the female version of friendzonage is that it is in 99% of the cases NOT definitive. Guys can almost always be swayed around at some point.
ever since a bad rejection a few months ago, i cant seem to stable my feelings, why is that?
>ever since a bad rejection a few months ago, i cant seem to stable my feelings, why is that?
Probably because you have not yet resolved some lingering issues resulting from that rejection.
>With time, you will learn what kind of people like the type of person you are. It goes both ways. In time you'll learn what kind of person you are really interested in.
I asked my friend what I should do, and she said, "do what you feel is right," so I wrote a comment, saying that even though I couldn't understand what she's going through, cause I'm not her, I had been there before and have an idea what she's going through. I also said to please find someone to talk to, and I would listen if that person was me. Yes, this leaves me open to friendzonage, and it also reveals some of my insecurities/vulnerabilities, but I had to say something. I probably should've said something like love involves risk and no one is ever truly ready, no matter how they feel, but it's too late to say this now. It'll look weird if I post another comment on that note. Ugh, I'm always coming up with something good after the fact.
>Forgive me for my outburst Oracle.
The Oracle forgives you, and will reformulate the sentence in a manner that makes sense to you. The rest of your post lacking a clearly formulated question, it will be considered a status report.
Sorry, I did not know my post had to contain a question, Oracle. I guess my question is, how dｏ I know what's too much with the comments and what's too little? And should I go to the show even if she hasn't told me about it directly? It's on her wall to from other people mentioning it.
I, a male, am in love with my best friend. We met freshman year of college and she just graduated, while I am finishing my 5th year of school. She has moved to a town about 5 hours away from where I will be once I graduate. We keep in touch (about once or twice a month) and she recently visited town for my birthday, and paid the bill for the birthday dinner ($120). She only recently broke up with her boyfriend a couple of months ago but they are still talking and she isn't sure about the whole situation with them ("a break up is never a break up"). We have been good friends for such a long time too that I feel guilty for developing romantic feelings for her recently. But I feel, right or not, that she is perfect, and as a result I barely make an effort when it comes to other girls. Moreover, over the course of the 5 years we have known each other, I have changed a lot and gained more confidence, but lately I have been wondering if I have been changing myself in order to meet her expectations or if I am really doing it for myself, and I'm confused.
>1) Using your future telling powers, is there ever a chance that we end up together?
Yes. And my powers suggest that this chance involves you getting rid of your guilt and starting to actively seduce her.
i has cold.. tell me if i get awesome gain for tomorrow?
Bitches and whores. What do?
> Bitches and whores. What do?
In the immortal words of one Doctor Dre: "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks"
Go for the whores.
>i has cold.. tell me if i get awesome gain for tomorrow?
This is Oracle's romance problem-solving department, for forecasts please contact Oracle's Delphic services.
I'm a 21 year old guy, currently in university. About two years ago I started hanging out with a group of friends that I now think of as my closest friends.
>So my question is if this is a good idea? I'm not sure if she even suspects that I might have feelings for her so it might come as a shock to her.
In general confessions should only be made when you are quite confident about the outcome. Before that you should rather build intimacy with her. So going to a film festival is a good idea (as long as it's only the two of you, not with other friends). Learn as much as possible about her, and get her to do things alone with you. If you see that she spends time with you and that the feeling is good, don't hesitate to raise the stakes (doing activities that couples usually do).
This guy used to be friends with me before; he helped me with studying Japanese and he was good at it so I looked up to him. Then, He began to be mean to me after wards and yesterday he said this:
"let me be straight with you
>Help me, Oracle
Regardless of whether you talk too much or in a pointless way, his behavior indicates that he's not feeling well, and for some reason is probably under stress. You might want to know what's wrong with him, perhaps he's used to be a listener, and now needs someone who will listen to him.
Hey, Oracle, lemme ask you something.
I dropped out of college about a year ago. Maybe I didn't have the motivation to go on in a field like IT; maybe I just had the same problem I've always had, which is that I'm really bad at following deadlines. Either way, I've been considering going back to school for something different, with several reasons in mind: it's something to get me out of the house, it's another chance to get a good head start on doing something with my life, it's an excellent way of meeting a girl.
>Tell me, because I can't tell for myself. How hard should I be pushing myself to go back to school?
Being faced with two unpalatable options is often the sign that one is ignoring a third possibility. The Oracle suggests that since you lack motivation and self-management skills, you should opt for an apprenticeship based education, instead of the classic ex-cathedra one.
i recently like this girl in my college, we've been pretty close latley and people sometimes get the idea we're together, the problem is that she say she treats me like a brother but we're always flirting around on msn. i know i prob dont have a high chance if im being treated like a brother but i get the feeling that she feels something more as well, just the way she looks at me. she also just recently changed her hair style to a style i like and she knows about it, what do i do now?
>what do i do now?
Treat her like she is your girlfriend, and not just a simple friend or a sister.
I am curious Oracle, what are your qualifications for your position.
>I'd try [...] but mother says [...]. I think [...]. What do you think?
The Oracle has spoken. What you do with it is up to you.
>Oracle, what are your qualifications for your position.
Basic requirements include being clairvoyant and immortal.
What should i consider when i'm getting christmas for the girl i like.
>What should i consider when i'm getting a christmas present for the girl i like.
There are two approaches that convey different meanings:
I've been reading all of your responses and I'm impressed with your balance of wit and rationality. I feel comfortable enough to have a reasonable, guided answer from you.
>[Oracle], please advise me in becoming that certain someone that can give her the same endearing love she gives to her family. I will approach her this Sunday, and I ask for some guidance.
What was the outcome of last Sunday's initiative? Was she there at all?
Because it was fated so.
Oracle, Merry Christmas!
P.S. Good to know there will always be someone out there to answer my question.
There is someone who harasses me through the internet in a way that is not against the law but it still scares the shit out of me.
What should I do?
>What should I do?
You should clear up the situation so that any further harassment can be exposed as such. This means two things:
Oracle, I'm kind of stupid with things.
What counts as a date?
Its stupid to tell anyone my problem, the answer is simple,
However, I love her, she hates me, we used to talk, then one day she just vanished off the face of the earth.
What I must to to made some people understand such concepts as 'The Right to be Left Alone' or 'privacy'?
The concept of the right to be left alone dates back to a 1928 Supreme Court wiretapping decision called Olmstead vs. the United States in which the Supreme Court Justice Brandeis said "the protection guaranteed by the amendments (of the Constitution) is much broader in scope. The makers of our Constitution undertook to secure conditions favorable to the pursuit of happiness. They recognized the significance of man's spiritual nature, of his feelings and of his intellect . . . They sought to protect Americans in their beliefs, their thoughts, their emotions, and their sensations. They conferred as against the government the right to be left alone -- the most comprehensive of rights and the right most valued by civilized men."
oracle, why do you give up your time to help people over the internet?
there's something that's been bothering me lately and won't seem to go away. is it just me, or is everyone into asian chicks these days? maybe it's because i majored in asian studies in college and am now living in japan, but it seems like every white guy i've met in the past 4 years has had yellow fever. nowadays i can't even visit a website without having to read about how asian girls are sooo hot and non-asian women are for the birds. is this mentality really that prevalent, or am i just hanging out with the wrong crowds/visiting the wrong blogs and websites? i don't remember guys being this obsessed when i was growing up, but (in my life at least) it seems to be becoming the normP
I want to get in touch with a person, but don't know how
what if that person just kidding around?
I thought I was over my ex but last night I dreamt i saw her with someone else and I got really upset and angry. Waking up I realized maybe I'm not as over her as I thought. How do I move on?
Because of some unexpected circumstances today only http://genki-genki.com/ turns me on.
Oracle is on holidays?!