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The porn he looks at is drastically different from what I'm like-- do I have a chance? (21)


1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-26 07:46 ID:pe0Zjv8O

[This thread involves pornography as a subject and for that reason may have been place on the sexuality board, but the focus is not porn itself but rather a potential relationship issue that pornography may factor in to.]

I've been friends with a wonderful guy for almost three years now. I developed a crush on him that eventually turned into full blown love for him, but I haven't yet confessed. We have a very close relationship and seem to do everything a dating couple does except that we don't have physically amorous relations. We've never kissed, we've never cuddled, we've never even held hands. About a year ago, however, he hugged me before we parted one evening, and we've hugged every single time we've ever parted after spending time together since then (about twice a week). As the year has gone on, the hugs have seemed to last longer and been tighter. I genuinely believe that he has the same feelings for me as I have for him, but I'm not certain if they're at the same level. I'm also a coward, and that's why I haven't made a move yet.

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2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-26 07:48 ID:pe0Zjv8O

>>1
[Continued]

My plan is such: when he gives his gift to me, I'll thank him and lean over and hug him, and before I pull away, I can lightly kiss him on the side of the face. It seems like an innocent way to thank him and it seems like the least risky way that I could kiss him, having a good excuse for it. Hopefully, if he doesn't mind it, it could become a tradition like the hugging. Or, maybe it will lead to more. That or it could be awkward as all hell and make me wish I hadn't done it.

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3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-26 07:48 ID:pe0Zjv8O

>>2
[Continued]

My own boobs are small. I measure as a 32B. Learning of his preference for the more buxom sort of woman, I feel so inadequate I could cry. I've had insecurity issue regarding my breasts since puberty, and now I feel like my fears have been realized in the worst way. I feel like taking my shirt off in front of him would be like a joke, now knowing that what he desires are jugs more like the size of what sits atop my neck than what I'm sporting on my chest.

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4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-26 15:34 ID:xC6NTAVi

You sounds fabulous to me. However the part where he left the notebook and ask you to keep for him sounds suspicious. I mean who could have resist the temptation to look into the "book of secrets." Anyway don't worry too much, watching porn is usually for pleasure only, that what i think. By the way when he hug you sounds like good news, BUT if your in the western countries then it nothing, i think.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-26 16:32 ID:Z1C3PWnI

porn is fantasy, and nothing more. Should he worry any time you enjoy watching a movie because of some hunk starring in it?

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-26 16:57 ID:Z1C3PWnI

You are definitely freaking out: I have always preferred dark haired women, but I'm happily married with a blond girl, simply because there are many other aspects in which she provides me with ample satisfaction. It's just one aspect, not the sum of things.

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7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-26 18:33 ID:Em5npxH3

I can't speak for your friend, but I guess if you're really interested in someone, physical matters like these aren't so important.

Anyway, don't let this discourage you. From the way he behaves, it does sound like he's interested in you (although I have no experience in stuff like this).

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8 Name: 43 : 2009-09-27 06:22 ID:qXYa3W/C

You'll be fine. Breasts aren't what holds a couple together.

Keep us informed.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-27 06:28 ID:x1+ql0uF

i dunno how old you two are, but geeze...

guys like boobs. Some have specific tastes and preferences. But just because you like burgers doesn't mean you hate chicken biscuits.

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10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-27 22:55 ID:LI+yXj/J

>>1,3
You are overreacting.

Not only is this most likely of no consequence, you should understand that the average bust size of women in porn is much higher than in the real world. Of those not naturally busty, most get breast implants to further their career. Yes, men with a specific preference for large breasts outweigh those that have a specific preference for small breasts and there are many more that are in no way picky. But this also means pornography follows the laws of supply and demand. So if you checked again throughout that website, you'd most likely find only a select few small breasted women.

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11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 05:23 ID:Heaven

> Yes, men with a specific preference for large breasts outweigh those that have a specific preference for small breasts and there are many more that are in no way picky. But this also means pornography follows the laws of supply and demand. So if you checked again throughout that website, you'd most likely find only a select few small breasted women.
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12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 07:01 ID:pe0Zjv8O

Op here.

Thanks, everyone, for your advice and perspective. He ended up canceling on meeting with my family and I the other night, but that was reasonable as they arrived over an hour later than we expected to meet and by that time he had already fed himself dinner and had probably expected to be home for the night by then.

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13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 09:36 ID:dYCIipSg

One will always be willing to change for the other. That what i think.
Anyway i don't suggest push-up because i once watch this drama. There was a girl flirting with a rich guy who like big breast, so she wore push-up. In the end the push-up drop and it was embarrasing.

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 10:44 ID:BgZPiGO2

>Ultimately, I guess I can't change what he does or doesn't like, I can only hope he'll like me the way I am, the same way I like him.

You nailed it. No need to wreck yourself and your chances with him because of this. Be natural. Study yourself, and wear what looks good on you, not what tries to make you look like something else.

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15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 14:57 ID:IOOW9vXj

Happy Birthday, OP!

I suppose I'm a little late, but it couldn't hurt for me to throw in my two cents.

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16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 21:46 ID:pe0Zjv8O

OP again.

I decided to ditch the low cut top and push up bra. I made that decision at the last minute and I think I'm glad. I am instead wearing a shirt that he's complimented before and that I feel very comfortable in. I made the decision before reading the thread, but what >>14 said makes a lot of sense; by now I guess he's figured out that I don't have triple-Ds, but if he's still enthusiastic about being around me, he must not be too disapointed. It's silly how really obvious stuff like that can never find its way into a fear-clouded mind until someone else puts it there for you.

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17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 21:51 ID:UW+pYSXJ

>>16
Don't chicken out! Push yourself, you can make it and kisses are innocent after all (that is, if you don't linger for ages on it of course haha).

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18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 21:52 ID:UW+pYSXJ

Btw, there are no Anons here - only Secret Admirers ;)

19 Name: 映画男 : 2009-09-29 05:03 ID:aWmTklJV

eiga wishes u all the best!! dont chicken out and u'll do fine =D

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-29 06:35 ID:HcSBvt+n

anxious about an update

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-10-05 13:28 ID:VL2in16A

OP, I just wanted to say that I can totally relate to you.
I am finding myself in an uncannily similar situation to yours, and although I can't offer any helpful advice, I am totally barracking for you.