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The porn he looks at is drastically different from what I'm like-- do I have a chance? (21)

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-09-28 07:01 ID:pe0Zjv8O

Op here.

Thanks, everyone, for your advice and perspective. He ended up canceling on meeting with my family and I the other night, but that was reasonable as they arrived over an hour later than we expected to meet and by that time he had already fed himself dinner and had probably expected to be home for the night by then.

Our plans are still on for tonight and I am very excited to get to see him for the first time since midday three days ago.

I think what bothers me most about the list isn't just that the women on it are big-busted like most porn stars, but that they all have GIANT MONSTER TITS, and the ones that made the list are the ones with the biggest boobs on the entire site, with the biggest at the top and going down by size (and rank) from there. Indeed everyone on the site has big boobs so it makes sense that there aren't any more modest chested women on the list, but the astonishingly buxom ones are the only ones that made his list. (I didn't even know GG and I cups existed before the other night.)

I never wear low cut tops; t-shirt collars are about as low as I go. But tonight when I go to dinner with him, I plan to wear a shirt I never have before with a plunging v-neck and a tie in the back that tightens it around the breasts, really accentuating them. I wanted to buy myself new bras for my birthday anyway, and figure I'll buy a push up one today as well, just for that shirt. It's the first excuse I've had to dress up around him in about a year, so I don't think it will seem terribly unnatural, and maybe it will make him more open to a kiss as well. I am hesitant because I don't want to come off as slutty or throw what I have for a chest out there just for attention, but I hope that if nothing else it will make my own lacking bust at least palatable if not achingly desirable. Perhaps presenting this area of my body to him for the first time will cause him to find it attractive and actually become attracted to it.

Ultimately, I guess I can't change what he does or doesn't like, I can only hope he'll like me the way I am, the same way I like him.

I don't think anything will ever quell the insecurities I have regarding my own less than ample chest, but I do feel a little better now than I did two nights ago, and the comments on this page have been an incredible help, so I am sincerely thankful for all the constructive input provided.